Adulting is rough IMO

JM Aggie08 · Nov 11, 2024

I joined here when I was 16. I'll be 35 in a couple of months, now married with 2 kids.

16 year old JM Aggie08 was a stupid asshole for wanting to grow up lol. I'm generally happy, but my God, time is such a precious commodity. The weight of having to not only care for yourself, but 3 other people is immeasurable. I have a strong desire to maintain my hobbies, but god damn it takes so much will power to not just sink into the couch at the end of the day. Things should get easier once the kids are a bit older...but at the same time, I don't want to wish their early years away.

Kids, works, chores, kids, work, chores....maybe a lil vidya game/coffee roasting/working out? I could really go for a weekend of System of a Down, Dr. Pepper, and Unreal Tournament 99.

Not to mention, the mid 30s are starting to introduce bodily integrity issues. I used to give my dad shit for groaning when he stood up from sitting...and here we are lol.

Also, if you're fortunate enough to have your parents around during your prime adult years, don't take it for granted. There's not much they could have done by way of direct support, but god damn just a phone call for reassurance would go a long way.

Thank you for attending my TEDtalk.

pete6032 · Nov 11, 2024

I have a toddler. Every day is an emotional roller coaster. No time for hobbies any more.

dank69 · Nov 11, 2024

pete6032 said:
I have a toddler. Every day is an emotional roller coaster. No time for hobbies any more.

You should have another one, when they have a friend close to their age it gets so much easier.

jpiniero · Nov 11, 2024

Or just don't have kids, lol

nakedfrog · Nov 11, 2024

I love my kids, but I also loved it when they moved out 😄

MrSquished · Nov 11, 2024

This is called a good work/life balance

JM Aggie08 · Nov 11, 2024

MrSquished said:
This is called a good work/life balance

Work is generally a much need break from life lol.

MrSquished · Nov 11, 2024

JM Aggie08 said:
Work is generally a much need break from life lol.

Ha. Well, either that means you are having issues in your personal life, or that means that since you don't have enough free time, it's all taken up with responsibilities and you need more to do your own thing.

What if you told your boss you were going to work four days a week for 32 hours total, and they said yes, do you think all that extra free time would let you have more you time?

Stopsignhank · Nov 11, 2024

JM Aggie08 said:
Work is generally a much need break from life lol.

Before kids on Sunday evening we would get the "Sunday night blues" You know, sad to have to go back to work. After kids we would get the "Sunday night happy's" Glad to go back to work and get a break.

Stopsignhank · Nov 11, 2024

dank69 said:
You should have another one, when they have a friend close to their age it gets so much easier.

Be careful what you ask for. Our son is autistic. His sister was born 18 months later and had medical problems when she was born. In the NICU for the first 30 days. Still amazed that they operated on her when she was 24 hours old. Her third surgery really helped her. Later she was diagnosed as selectively mute, after all any stranger she met was poking and prodding her. We had both kids in Special Ed. YAY!!!!

Now we are retired and our son still lives with us, and is VERY present in our lives. ie, we watch a lot of what he wants to watch and plan our lives around MWF when he has a day program to go to. We also have to plan around what he will do when we are gone. He is very much like Dustin Hoffman in RainMan, highly functional but could not live on his own and needs someone to watch out for him.

So as long as your kids are healthy you have won the game. Count your blessings.

biostud · Nov 11, 2024

Get more kids. It will be even better

I'm 45 and have four daughters in the age 0-7.

repoman0 · Nov 11, 2024

35 here as well. My wife and I are having our first next year. I put it off as long as I could — she is a few years younger than me but doesn’t want to push it later than this especially if we end up wanting two. I am looking forward to it

The only hobby I really care about keeping is music and it shouldn’t be too hard to pick up a guitar for an hour or two, especially since I play it during work hours while waiting for builds etc. And working out but that’s no longer a hobby, just a chore that I do because I dislike being out of shape more than I dislike lifting.

Brainonska511 · Nov 11, 2024

I'm about the same age, but no kids. However, I heard one idea for keeping up with some hobbies is actually involving your kids (assuming they are age appropriate), so you get both time with kids that is enriching and time to pursue your hobbies.

---

Even without kids, being an adult can be difficult. My wife is finishing med school; so because she's been fairly busy, I pick up more of the home stuff, while also working remotely, full time, so I can certainly appreciate being tired at the end of the day and not having the motivation to do ancillary stuff.

biostud · Nov 11, 2024

dank69 said:
You should have another one, when they have a friend close to their age it gets so much easier.

It really does, my three oldest are born within three years. It's a piece of cake having our fourth now, when the three eldest 4, 6 and 7 they always have someone to play with and don't need our attention as much.

brianmanahan · Nov 11, 2024

without kids or spouse it's pretty easy mode.

i guess until i get old.

nakedfrog · Nov 11, 2024

brianmanahan said:
without kids or spouse it's pretty easy mode.

i guess until i get old.

Looked into long-term care insurance?

purbeast0 · Nov 11, 2024

I turn 43 this month and have a 9 year old and a 4 year old. I still have a ton of hobbies.

Weight Lifting
Fishing
Sports
Video Games
Arcade Games
Pinball
Building fightsticks

I typically just game at night though when my kids are asleep. I tend to sleep like 6-7 hours a night though and am fine running on that, and talking with my peers that is little compared to most people. So that gives me extra hours in the day over most people I guess.

Red Squirrel · Nov 11, 2024

I sometimes think it would be fun to have have gotten married and start a family and such but at the same time I'm ok with the easy mode of being single with no kids. Seen how busy my sister and her husband were when my nephews were younger, I really don't think I could handle that amount of chaos. I'm almost 40 now so that ship has sailed, and I'm 100% ok with it. I do sometimes wonder if when I'm older I'll regret it though. But no sense in dwelling on that. I'm happy now.

I sometimes feel nostalgic about childhood stuff, but at same time, I wouldn't really want to go back, I feel like I'm in my prime time of life right now.

Iron Woode · Nov 11, 2024

JM Aggie08 said:
I joined here when I was 16. I'll be 35 in a couple of months, now married with 2 kids.

16 year old JM Aggie08 was a stupid asshole for wanting to grow up lol. I'm generally happy, but my God, time is such a precious commodity. The weight of having to not only care for yourself, but 3 other people is immeasurable. I have a strong desire to maintain my hobbies, but god damn it takes so much will power to not just sink into the couch at the end of the day. Things should get easier once the kids are a bit older...but at the same time, I don't want to wish their early years away.

Kids, works, chores, kids, work, chores....maybe a lil vidya game/coffee roasting/working out? I could really go for a weekend of System of a Down, Dr. Pepper, and Unreal Tournament 99.

Not to mention, the mid 30s are starting to introduce bodily integrity issues. I used to give my dad shit for groaning when he stood up from sitting...and here we are lol.

Also, if you're fortunate enough to have your parents around during your prime adult years, don't take it for granted. There's not much they could have done by way of direct support, but god damn just a phone call for reassurance would go a long way.

Thank you for attending my TEDtalk.

👍 to UT99

I run my own server. It's listed on the 333 site's UT99 page - {CBGB} Clan Server. My old clan from back in the day.

BoomerD · Nov 11, 2024

purbeast0 said:
I turn 43 this month and have a 9 year old and a 4 year old. I still have a ton of hobbies.

Weight Lifting
Fishing
Sports
Video Games
Arcade Games
Pinball
Building fightsticks

I typically just game at night though when my kids are asleep. I tend to sleep like 6-7 hours a night though and am fine running on that, and talking with my peers that is little compared to most people. So that gives me extra hours in the day over most people I guess.

Jeezus...I became a grandfather at 46...

If youse kiddies think life sucks now...just wait till you hit your 60s...or 70s. That's when all the pains and creaky joints REALLY kick in.

NutBucket · Nov 11, 2024

You're never too old. My dad was in his mid 40's when I was born. I wouldn't suggest waiting until you're 60 though

Anyway, adulting is definitely hard. Just when you think you have a handle on shit, it goes completely awry. Hence I find myself divorced in my early 40's. So it goes...

I started here when I was in HS.

dave_the_nerd · Nov 11, 2024

Adulting sucks. I want to rewind to 1997 and play again.

Red Squirrel · Nov 11, 2024

I would love to go back to the 90's, but as an adult.

NutBucket · Nov 11, 2024

dave_the_nerd said:
Adulting sucks. I want to rewind to 1997 and play again.

Wouldn't we all...

BoomerD · Nov 11, 2024

dave_the_nerd said:
Adulting sucks. I want to rewind to 1968 and play again.

FTFMe

Adulting is rough IMO

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