News The Onion has bought InfoWars

mikeymikec

Lifer
May 19, 2011
18,985
12,114
136

For less than one trillion dollars apparently:
 

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
30,283
45,872
136
lmao

'As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
 

JTsyo

Lifer
Nov 18, 2007
11,853
984
126
At first I thought this was an Onion article about the Onion buying Infowars, which would have been hilarious. But it's real, which makes it way more hilarious.
hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?
 

amenx

Diamond Member
Dec 17, 2004
4,132
2,412
136
hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?
It'll just mean that nothing has changed. People wont be able to tell the difference.
 

iRONic

Diamond Member
Jan 28, 2006
7,634
2,934
136
Turn it into a bastion of free speech! Rebrand the name…

The Peeled Onion
 

woolfe9998

Lifer
Apr 8, 2013
16,214
14,196
136
hmm since the the Onion owns InfoWars and they are a satire newspaper does that mean now InfoWars is going to be a hard-hitting actual news organization?

I would guess they would turn the site into a parody of conspiracy theories. Which the regular viewers who didn't get the memo about the ownership change will probably take seriously.
 

HomerJS

Lifer
Feb 6, 2002
37,088
29,424
136
I hope it becomes the bastion of right wing ridicule. Headline: Trump's AG nominee Matt Gaetz caught fucking underage girls in the halls of Congress. Trump caught peeping into the room.

Mike Johnson applies to join the Satanists religion. Already meets requirements dumping beliefs for Trump
 
Reactions: hal2kilo and iRONic

Sonikku

Lifer
Jun 23, 2005
15,755
4,569
136
Blocked by Trump judge. Elon Musk now wading in as well. Will probably be allowed to buy it instead once the Judge overturns the sale.
 

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
30,283
45,872
136
Here's the Onion's resonse


just wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest website on the internet.The long and short of it: We won the auction and — you're not going to believe this — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well.

On Thursday, the person overseeing the auction told us that The Onion’s bid for InfoWars, along with the Connecticut Sandy Hook families, won.
We haven’t heard anything that changed that — except, of course, from the guys currently running InfoWars, doing InfoWars stuff..

There was a status conference with the judge overseeing the auction on Thursday, shortly after we were deemed winners.The judge had some questions about process and some assets. We’re glad he’s doing that, since our bid with the families is clearly the best and transparency is even better. We left the hearing with clear next steps to complete the sale. InfoWars’ current management asked to continue operating until then.We always knew the guys who currently run InfoWars were going to take this badly and use the loss to fundraise off of it, and they did not disappoint.

Obviously, when the current operators of InfoWars went back to operating as a business, they used that to falsely say the auction had been overturned and allege some truly wacky stuff. Something about Saul Alinsky? God bless ‘em.

We expected all of this, obviously. Buying this site was always going to be fun later on, but annoying right away. The fun part is still to come.
 
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