Canada just bitchslapped Trump.
Mark Carney is a Goddamned revelation...
deanblundell.substack.com
Breaking: Trump Just Surrendered To Canada
You want to know what power looks like? It’s Mark f*ing Carney ghosting America’s Rapist in Chief for three months, and ignored him all day yesterday, cutting America off at the knees, forcing Donald Trump to come crawling back today like the MAGA dog he is.
Yesterday, Canada’s Prime Minister —Mark Carney—severed economic and security ties with Trump’s America. Full stop. No warning. No negotiation. Just
boom: "We’re done here."
Why? Because we’ve had enough.
Carney saw the writing on the wall. Trump was trying to big-dick him for weeks—sending envoys, sliding into diplomatic DMs, probably even using Jared Kushner’s creepy little WhatsApp avatar. Crickets. Carney didn’t flinch. He iced Trump out like a Canadian January.
Then came
yesterday. Canada cut ties. We pulled out of joint economic plans, froze intelligence sharing, started chatting with EU, Japan, and a few spicy little democracies who
don’t try to overturn elections. Suddenly, Trump remembered we exist and made a panicked plea to Carney to not cut ties with America.
I’m hearing he almost begged the PM not to sever all ties with America and promised to respect the PM's office and Canada as a sovereign nation from now on.
Carney issued this cold memo, which reads very differently than Trump’s “I swear things will be better in Canada” social post.
It’s what the new leader of the freeworld says when he gives someone on more chance to prove they are worthy of associating with us. Which Trump is not:
View attachment 120924
Donald. Came. Crawling.
He begged Carney for a call. Not just
a call.
The call. The kind you make after you realize you just drunk-texted your ex that you miss her and she posted the screenshots.
Carney took the call. And made that walking indictment
beg.
Our relationship with Mr. Trump’s America is over. We are not a province. We are not an extension of MAGA. And if the former president wants back in, he gets in line like everyone else.
Put that on a t-shirt.
Trump, clearly rattled, issued a statement that sounded like it was written by someone who just got dumped mid-prom. He actually called Carney
“The Prime Minister of Canada.” Not “the Governor of the 51st state,” not “that guy who talks pretty,” but
Prime f**ing Minister*.
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Kiss the ring, Donny. The
Northern Ring.
After months of mocking Canada, threatening tariffs, treating us like a political doormat, the old orange menace now knows who’s holding the cards. Spoiler alert:
It ain’t the guy under 91 indictments.
And what a Paper Tiger. A Pussy. He talks tough from his Oval Office throne, but when someone with stones tells him to go fuck his hairweave, he turns into the pussy that he is. That’s his baseline. Every fraud’s basline is “pussy.”
And don’t think this is over. Trump’s “respect” today doesn’t mean jack unless he shows up with
everything we want. Trade reform, climate guarantees, intel-sharing on
our terms, and a public acknowledgment that Canada has agency now. Not just polite handshakes and “eh” jokes—real f***ing respect.
Oh, and
if this were Pierre Poilievre in charge?
He’d already be polishing Trump’s golf balls with his tongue. Both hands on Donald’s shaft, whispering, “You want Alberta too, Mr. President? Maybe Ontario? Shall I swear an oath of loyalty now, or after I destroy our healthcare system?”
Not Carney. Not today. Not ever.
The difference between Carney and Poilievre? One of them
made Trump kneel. The other would be asking for MAGA kneepads.
So yeah—today, Trump put some respect on Canada’s name. But he can still
fuck all the way off until we say otherwise.