10 Signs that your computer is cheap...

[Brutuskend]

10) Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
9) It's celebrity spokesman is that "Carrot Top!."
8) In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
7) It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics."
6) The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
5) Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
4) The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
3) The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
2) The only chip inside is a Dorito.
1) You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition.
to your fabulous paperweight collection.

 

[WombatWoman]

11) Cooling fan is attached to a beanie.

 

[mrCide]

since that was so lame, heres something kind of funny


<Videoman> you know your PC case is too hot when:
<Videoman> 1) You stick in a QIC tape, and five minutes later, the little metal plate on the bottom of it is hot enough to burn you.
<Videoman> 2) Your CD-ROM drive makes a "toaster" noise when you hit the eject button.
<Videoman> 3) Your power supply belches flames like a top-fuel dragster, and you think that's kinda cool.
<Videoman> (being the AOL-using/Packhell-buying/World-of-Wheels-watching redneck that you are)
<Videoman> 4) You actually think you see the little BSD Daemon climb out of you PC, saying, "It's way too damn hot in there".
<Videoman> 5) The top of your case starts glowing red and dripping metal, and you think some little Jedi is in your machine, fighting to get out.

 

[WombatWoman]

I liked it, Brutus.

 

[Brutuskend]

Thanks Mom!!

 

[WombatWoman]

Now clean up your room.

 

[Brutuskend]

DAMN............

This place (my room) really IS BUGGED!!:Q

 

[yakko]

2) The only chip inside is a Dorito.

2) Your CD-ROM drive makes a "toaster" noise when you hit the eject button.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I liked both lists.

 

[xirtam]

I'm... uh... ten for ten here, guys. Time to trade in my old Etch-a-Sketch.

 

[HellRaiserandBeerDrinker]

The Top 13 Little-Known Rules of Beer Drinking


The first rule about Beer Club is you do not talk about Beer Club.

Before wringing spilled beer into your glass from a soaked shirt,
make sure that your date is not still wearing it.

Beer math: x(beer) + felony larceny - shirt = "COPS"

The Barney Rule: Every sentence must start or end with a belch.

Always offer to buy the first round if you want to impress the Bush girls.

The optimum number of beers consumed is directly proportional
to the ugliness of one's date divided by the distance to the bathroom.

After a dozen beers, you must loudly declare your love
for your drinking companion. Half a dozen if you're drinking canadian beer.

The beer-can wall in the dorm is NOT load-bearing.

After one six-pack of anything, Old Milwaukee
really *is* as good as it gets.

Beer on whiskey, mighty risky; whiskey on beer, all is clear;
beer on your shirt, take my word, friend: You're *so* not getting laid tonight.

When departing for the restroom, don't use the word "lizard" in mixed company.

If you drink a beer that has a fly in it, you are required by law
to allow the fly to escape to freedom through your nose.

and the Number 1 Little-Known Rule of Beer Drinking...


Never puke on something white after Labor Day

 

[ProviaFan]

Originally posted by: mrCide
since that was so lame, heres something kind of funny


<Videoman> you know your PC case is too hot when:
<Videoman> 1) You stick in a QIC tape, and five minutes later, the little metal plate on the bottom of it is hot enough to burn you.
<Videoman> 2) Your CD-ROM drive makes a "toaster" noise when you hit the eject button.
<Videoman> 3) Your power supply belches flames like a top-fuel dragster, and you think that's kinda cool.
<Videoman> (being the AOL-using/Packhell-buying/World-of-Wheels-watching redneck that you are)
<Videoman> 4) You actually think you see the little BSD Daemon climb out of you PC, saying, "It's way too damn hot in there".
<Videoman> 5) The top of your case starts glowing red and dripping metal, and you think some little Jedi is in your machine, fighting to get out.

ROFL

 

[Justin218]

man, those are really bad. Why'd ya even bother posting them.

 

[SuperCyrix]

morning roll call.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: WombatWoman
11) Cooling fan is attached to a beanie.

Oh no.. not again..

 

[TranceNation]

top 3 signs your comp is cheap:
1) you have an amd chip
2) you have an amd chip
3) you have an amd chip


lol, just kidding

 

[MarkW]

uh, half of that stuff is from a weird al song....

 

[MisterPresident]

Originally posted by: MarkW
uh, half of that stuff is from a weird al song....

A darn funny one too!


It's all about the Pentiums, baby
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
Yeah

What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
Installed a T1 line in my house
Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
Upgrade my system at least twice a day
I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
It's all about the Pentiums, what?
You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
You've got white-out all over your screen
You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
You're the biggest joke on the Internet
Your database is a disaster
You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)

Now, what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?

Uh, uh, loggin' in now
Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
They call me the king of the spreadsheets
Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets
My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
But it was obsolete before I opened the box
You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great
If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
My digital media is write-protected
Every file inspected, no viruses detected
I beta tested every operation system
Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
It does all my work without me even askin'
Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide
I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total-loser"
Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you
What? What? What? What? What?

It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
Now, what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
What??


Weird Al Yankovich (sp?) - It's All About The Pentiums

 

[fr]

Originally posted by: WombatWoman
11) Cooling fan is attached to a beanie.

That was funnier than the whole list.

 

[FalseChristian]

Youz guys'n gals are too much! Now, f*cking smarten up and gits a life!!! HA! HA! HO! HEE! HEH!

 

[WombatWoman]

Originally posted by: FalseChristian
Youz guys'n gals are too much! Now, f*cking smarten up and gits a life!!! HA! HA! HO! HEE! HEH!

This individual's existence proves that some folks descended from apes much later than others.

 

[OREOSpeedwagon]

Transition you fux0red the whole thing up

 

[Brutuskend]

"G" for as sucky as most people thought my list was, this thread just doesn't seem to want to die!

 

[Semper Fi]

 

[WombatWoman]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
"G" for as sucky as most people thought my list was, this thread just doesn't seem to want to die!

Your list was cute, and I hope the thread can survive this nef infection.

It appears that several villages are short an idiot.

The endless requoting thing is stupid and annoying, and should be dealt with by the Mods, IMHO.