10 undeniable truths about living in Hawaii

[Whoozyerdaddy]

10. Driving with an open Heiniken in your lap is ok
9. If there is a pool at the bar... the locals are the ones at the bar, the pink people around the pool are the tourists.
8. At the same bar, the locals will order a beer or X & coke... The tourists will require a blender and a Ph. D. in chemistry. (Helloooo Lava Flow!)
7. The only people who walk barefoot on the beach are the tourists
6. Tourists don't like it when your dog tries to say "Hi" in the middle of their wedding pics
5. 67 degrees is cold to some people
4. Some people are never happy... when the wind blows it screws with their hair... when it's not blowing it's too G-D hot! Pansies...
3. Everyone you know wants to come and visit you until you tell them your place isn't big enough for them to stay.
2. Tourists don't know how to play an efficient, three hour, round of golf

And the #1 undeniable truth of life in Hawaii...

1. If it's a convertible and the top is down... we know who you are.

 

[Kelemvor]

#5 is true of places like California too. We went there for the Rose Bowl one year... We're from WI. Everyone with us was in shorts and T shirts while everyone from there was in jackets and long pants.

 

[kindest]

you forgot
tourists are the ones driving 10mph on the freeway looking for whales.

 

[Idontcare]

Wow, why go to France when you can enjoy homegrown snobbery by visiting Hawaii!

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: kindest
you forgot
tourists are the ones driving 10mph on the freeway looking for whales.

Yes... there needs to be a tourist complaint list from May-Nov and another list from Nov-April.

But as long as you're on the boat...

Tourists are the ones rushing the rail like a Rolling Stones Concert. Locals are avoiding the crush on the side and finding the good shots. If you're wondering where to stand for that perfect whale shot... Look around. Who is hyperventillating the least? "Oh yeah... Humpies"... Quietly go there.

Undeniable truth #11... tourists pay for the rest of us...

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: Idontcare
Wow, why go to France when you can enjoy homegrown snobbery by visiting Hawaii!

Hawaiian snobbery is far more polite and accommodating.

 

[kindest]

the 2 most annoying questions i got asked the most when living in maui.

do you live here?
and how far about sea level are we?

and i say annoying but i believe people turn their brains off on vacation..
i can understand that. i like to think that i dont but im sure i do.

 

[mpitts]

It sounds like some of the sand from the beaches got trapped in your vaginas.

 

[CorCentral]

What about the DOG Chapman?
NO ICE IN PARADISE! **LMAO**

Do tourists ask if they can see him in person?

 

[booger711]

Riding in the back of pickup trucks is okay too.

 

[IGBT]

..you forgot the best coffee(KONA) comes from there.

 

[Regs]

How's the food? They can't really import anything can they?

I guess that's just another tourist assumption. I heard in reality they have McDonalds and Burger kings too except all the tourists want to eat "real" Hawaii cuisine.

 

[BoomerD]

I always liked the bumper sticker that said:

"Slow down, this ain?t the Mainland.?

In fact, I like it so much, I bought one...and put in in the back window of my rental car every time we're in the Islands...

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: BoomerD
I always liked the bumper sticker that said:

"Slow down, this ain?t the Mainland.?

In fact, I like it so much, I bought one...and put in in the back window of my rental car every time we're in the Islands...

Yer not foolin' anyone.
See undeniable truth #1.

 

[BoomerD]

LOL! Not tryin to fool anyone...and I hate convertibles...

When you're driving a rental car, it's OBVIOUS that you're a freakin ha'ole from somewhere else...
I just like the attitude. The first time we went, we rushed around everywhere, trying to fit EVERYTHING into a week...and I drove like I was commuting...go-go-go!
Not much of a vacation...almost no down time.
After that trip, we took it easy, embraced the Aloha spirit, learned to relax--It's All Good--and enjoyed the visits MUCH more.
Now, my wife can barely get me to do anything except the obligatory "Slack-Key" concerts at the Ritz-Carlton. Those are a must for me...We've met several of the artists, and even been invited to hang with them after the shows. PLUS, in the process, we've made some good friends.

 

[MattCo]

Wow, 5 whole months and you are a native... What snobbery.

 

[potato28]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: Idontcare
Wow, why go to France when you can enjoy homegrown snobbery by visiting Hawaii!

Hawaiian snobbery is far more polite and accommodating.

The northern snobbery is the worst(Paris), but the South is more compassionate and caring to most of the tourists.

 

[Gibsons]

I don't know if 3 hour rounds of golf happen anywhere now.

 

[middlehead]

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
#5 is true of places like California too. We went there for the Rose Bowl one year... We're from WI. Everyone with us was in shorts and T shirts while everyone from there was in jackets and long pants.

Same thing happens to me whenever I've gone to Nebraska in the fall. I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt, most people there already have their winter jackets out.

 

[imported_hscorpio]

What do the real locals call tourists who move to Hawaii? They probably have a worse list about you than the tourists who leave

 

[Accipiter22]

#11 Natives HATE the tourists...something about raping and murdering them for generations.

 

[MrChad]

Originally posted by: hscorpio
What do the real locals call tourists who move to Hawaii? They probably have a worse list about you than the tourists who leave

You're still likely to be a haole until you assimilate the carefree native lifestyle of the island.

 

[illusion88]

#10 seems to be pretty true in Utah too. At least in the ski community.

 

[Zugzwang152]

Only a tourist would come up with a list like that.

<-- born and raised here.

 

[mooglemania85]

so, are you addicted to Spam yet?