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[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: gersson

How should I approach the issue?

When in doubt...

whip it out?


and then possibly wave it around?

 

[D1gger]

I have been dealing with this issue for over 30 years with my wife. She has never been able to get past her problems with her parents and every few months it will come back and she will want to complain about them. I have learned that she does not want my advice about how to fix the problem, she simply wants to have someone to complain to who will listen and say things like: "I understand" ... "Poor you" ... "I know, it has been hard for you" ....

It drives me crazy, but that is part of the package with her, and I have come to accept that it will not change.

 

[Maxspeed996]

Give her something to complain about......Make her butt hurt.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: gersson

Originally posted by: ariafrost
She just wants someone to listen to her while she vents. Trying to fix things for her or saying things won't help - just let her vent. It'll make her feel better by the time she finishes.

This has been my current strategy with very little results. It's the easiest one but I guess it may be time to strike this one off the list thanks anyway

The problem is, you have a strategy/agenda. Are you listening to her because you want to be there for her, or are you trying to win her approval and her affections. If it is the latter, it is dishonest and she will not appreciate it (either you will end up being the angsty friend, or she will not want to hang out with someone with an agenda, and you will become the butt of her complaints).

In other words, don't have an agenda. If you like the girl, tell it to her straight, don't try to manipulate things a certain way, if she likes you or grow to like you great (you have a girlfriend), if she doesn't see you that way great (you have a friend). Any limbo stuff is just dishonest.

If you like her ask her out, don't "play" the friend. If you are genuinely a friend, my first suggestion still is good. You can still be honest with her. If you aren't genuinely a friend (take some time to consider this), my best advice is to just come out and ask her out.

 

[LeadMagnet]

it will not get any better - dump her and run for the hills

 

[DefDC]

Originally posted by: D1gger
I have been dealing with this issue for over 30 years with my wife. She has never been able to get past her problems with her parents and every few months it will come back and she will want to complain about them. I have learned that she does not want my advice about how to fix the problem, she simply wants to have someone to complain to who will listen and say things like: "I understand" ... "Poor you" ... "I know, it has been hard for you" ....

It drives me crazy, but that is part of the package with her, and I have come to accept that it will not change.

QFT If she is really getting close to you, she might be opening up and doing exactly what d1gger is saying. Which is a sign of trust, as annoying as it might be.

Remember, you don't need to solve these problems. Just nod your dead.

But his isn't going to go away. With ANY female.


Which goes along with my old adage: Guys are stupid, women are crazy.

 

[LittleNemoNES]

Dashen, you're reading too much into the word strategy, man. Thanks for the help, though.

it's just the way I talk.

 

[daveymark]

I only stopped in this thread to say I won't be reading the OP since the title says "no pics"

hope whatever the problem is gets worked out.