756*

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Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
The pitcher had already given two hits up to him, what a moron for giving him something to hit.
 

wyvrn

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
10,074
0
0
Originally posted by: joshsquall
The hilarious thing to me is that a majority of the people who rip on Bonds know absolutely nothing about him.

The typical non fan is coming out of the woodwork.
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
10
81
He absolutely smoked that baseball. Whoever caught it is a rich rich man.
 

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,994
779
126
Originally posted by: her209
Why do people hate on Bonds?

Because he cheated and he's a d*ck... if he was more contrite about it and was a man about it, i don't think it would be this big a deal.
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
10
81
Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
The pitcher had already given two hits up to him, what a moron for giving him something to hit.

Yeah, the guy just missed the location. It was supposed to be outside and the pitch was inside.
 

Gunslinger08

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
13,234
2
81
Originally posted by: dbk
He absolutely smoked that baseball. Whoever caught it is a rich rich man.

I was listening to an interview with an MLB merchandiser the other day and he only expects the ball to go for $50k or so. Bonds' last career homer will be worth much more.
 
Feb 10, 2000
30,029
67
91
Originally posted by: mooglemania85
:laugh:

How long have you been waiting to copy/paste that drivel?

It is hilarious to me that anyone would take the time to prepare that ridiculous stream-of-consciousness rant in anticipation of baseball's greatest cheat breaking a record held by a true champion.

In response, I give you the Onion's loving tribute to Bonds:

Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer

SAN FRANCISCO?Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible?some say almost certain?use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub shootings, gambling, or murdering his family has transformed his controversial pursuit of the all-time home-run record into the feel-good sports story of the summer.

"Until we have definitive proof one way or the other, the very presence of so many questions about Bonds and steroids will haunt his achievements forever," ESPN's Peter Gammons said Monday. "However, at this moment, I think we'd all have to agree that having a raging juiced-up misanthrope break the greatest record in sports is a ray of sunshine compared to everything else on the sports page."

"What kind of person electrocutes dogs, let alone fights them?" Gammons added. "I simply can't comprehend it. Go, Barry!"

While Bonds has been routinely greeted with booing and jeering whenever he played outside of San Francisco, the taunting seems to have abated for the moment as sports fans across America lapse into a reflective silence as Bonds approaches the plate.

"I know Bonds is probably 100% pharmaceutical Frankenstein," said Brewers fan Charles Michaels, who waved a banner reading "Make Us Relatively Proud, Barry" while not exactly rooting against Bonds at Milwaukee's Miller Park Sunday night. "But I also know for a certainty that gambling problems didn't compel him to affect the outcome of the NBA playoffs. You have to give him that much."

"Bonds is not exactly my hero," said Braves fan Bradley Hanson, who flew to San Francisco for Monday night's Braves game in order to pointedly not boo Bonds. "But he's a reminder that in these troubled times for sports, there are still players whose crimes are simple, pure, and only tarnish our beloved sport and everything it stands for without killing anybody."

Bonds defiantly refuses to acknowledge, much less answer, any of the dozens of questions regarding his use of illegal substances, often lashing out at clubhouse reporters asking even innocuous baseball-related questions. Yet as of press time, Bonds had not yet been involved in even one single murder.

"Say what you want about Bonds, but he's not a murderer, or even an attempted murderer," San Francisco Chronicle reporter and co-author of Game Of Shadows Lance Williams wrote in Sunday's edition. "The only thing I believe Bonds did was inject himself with Winstrol, Deca-Durabolin, insulin, testosterone, synthetic testosterone, testosterone decanoate, human growth hormones, Norbolethone, Trenbolone, Clomid, and possibly commercial racehorse laxatives, all in order to make himself a better athlete. Not to allow himself to gut-shoot a gentleman's club bouncer, but to become a better athlete. A better athlete?it doesn't seem so bad when you think about it like that."

"It's a relief of sorts to see someone putting performance first," Frank Deford said in a New York Times Magazine editorial Sunday. "I think we all believe that Barry has taken steroids, and that they made him into a hulking monster who rewrote the record books. But they didn't turn him into a hulking monster who drugged his wife and children into unconsciousness before strangling them to death and hanging himself from a weight bench. And in these troubled times, Bonds' performance is one we can all reluctantly applaud."
 

Gunslinger08

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
13,234
2
81
Originally posted by: Phokus
Originally posted by: her209
Why do people hate on Bonds?

Because he cheated and he's a d*ck... if he was more contrite about it and was a man about it, i don't think it would be this big a deal.

How do you know he cheated, and why is he a dick? What specifically has he done/said that makes you feel that way?
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
10
81
Originally posted by: joshsquall
Originally posted by: dbk
He absolutely smoked that baseball. Whoever caught it is a rich rich man.

I was listening to an interview with an MLB merchandiser the other day and he only expects the ball to go for $50k or so. Bonds' last career homer will be worth much more.

I'm sure it'll appreciate as time goes. If I were the guy/girl I would just hold on to it probably well until Bonds is dead.
 

anxi80

Lifer
Jul 7, 2002
12,294
2
0
well, he did it. barry got the record. how will i ever be able to sleep tonight...

National League West   W   L    Pct    GB
Arizona Diamondbacks 63  50  .558  --
San Diego Padres        61  51  .545  1.5
Los Angeles Dodgers    58  54  .518  4.5
Colorado Rockies         57  54  .514  5.0
San Francisco Giants    48  62  .436  13.5

oh yeah, i almost forgot about the giants record and the all the money they spent to keep barry in sf and what they paid zito. that helps.
 

wyvrn

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
10,074
0
0
Originally posted by: dbk
Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
The pitcher had already given two hits up to him, what a moron for giving him something to hit.

Yeah, the guy just missed the location. It was supposed to be outside and the pitch was inside.

Hey, Bonds is a good player. He can make a pitcher pay for a mistake.
 

Gunslinger08

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
13,234
2
81
Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
The pitcher had already given two hits up to him, what a moron for giving him something to hit.

It's the Nationals. You can't expect much.
 

Mojoed

Diamond Member
Jul 20, 2004
4,473
1
81
Originally posted by: joshsquall
The hilarious thing to me is that a majority of the people who rip on Bonds know absolutely nothing about him.

And you would know that how?

To rehash some information that everybody already knows:

The first 12 years of his career he averaged a home run every 16.1 at-bats.
Once he turned 35, that ratio was 1:8.9.

Oh, and his cap size went up (would have gone up even more had he not shaved his head) and his shoe size increased by 2.5 sizes IN HIS 30'S.

Maybe I don't know as much as you do, but I know as much as I need to know.

Bonds is a cheater.
 
Feb 10, 2000
30,029
67
91
I posted this in another thread, but it deserves to be posted again, damnit!

From The Onion:

Barry Bonds Home-Run Scandal Somehow Becomes Feel-Good Sports Story Of Summer

SAN FRANCISCO?Although Barry Bonds remains the target of criticism over his possible?some say almost certain?use of performance-enhancing substances, the fact that Bonds has not been implicated in dogfighting, nightclub shootings, gambling, or murdering his family has transformed his controversial pursuit of the all-time home-run record into the feel-good sports story of the summer.

"Until we have definitive proof one way or the other, the very presence of so many questions about Bonds and steroids will haunt his achievements forever," ESPN's Peter Gammons said Monday. "However, at this moment, I think we'd all have to agree that having a raging juiced-up misanthrope break the greatest record in sports is a ray of sunshine compared to everything else on the sports page."

"What kind of person electrocutes dogs, let alone fights them?" Gammons added. "I simply can't comprehend it. Go, Barry!"

While Bonds has been routinely greeted with booing and jeering whenever he played outside of San Francisco, the taunting seems to have abated for the moment as sports fans across America lapse into a reflective silence as Bonds approaches the plate.

"I know Bonds is probably 100% pharmaceutical Frankenstein," said Brewers fan Charles Michaels, who waved a banner reading "Make Us Relatively Proud, Barry" while not exactly rooting against Bonds at Milwaukee's Miller Park Sunday night. "But I also know for a certainty that gambling problems didn't compel him to affect the outcome of the NBA playoffs. You have to give him that much."

"Bonds is not exactly my hero," said Braves fan Bradley Hanson, who flew to San Francisco for Monday night's Braves game in order to pointedly not boo Bonds. "But he's a reminder that in these troubled times for sports, there are still players whose crimes are simple, pure, and only tarnish our beloved sport and everything it stands for without killing anybody."

Bonds defiantly refuses to acknowledge, much less answer, any of the dozens of questions regarding his use of illegal substances, often lashing out at clubhouse reporters asking even innocuous baseball-related questions. Yet as of press time, Bonds had not yet been involved in even one single murder.

"Say what you want about Bonds, but he's not a murderer, or even an attempted murderer," San Francisco Chronicle reporter and co-author of Game Of Shadows Lance Williams wrote in Sunday's edition. "The only thing I believe Bonds did was inject himself with Winstrol, Deca-Durabolin, insulin, testosterone, synthetic testosterone, testosterone decanoate, human growth hormones, Norbolethone, Trenbolone, Clomid, and possibly commercial racehorse laxatives, all in order to make himself a better athlete. Not to allow himself to gut-shoot a gentleman's club bouncer, but to become a better athlete. A better athlete?it doesn't seem so bad when you think about it like that."

"It's a relief of sorts to see someone putting performance first," Frank Deford said in a New York Times Magazine editorial Sunday. "I think we all believe that Barry has taken steroids, and that they made him into a hulking monster who rewrote the record books. But they didn't turn him into a hulking monster who drugged his wife and children into unconsciousness before strangling them to death and hanging himself from a weight bench. And in these troubled times, Bonds' performance is one we can all reluctantly applaud."
 

Gunslinger08

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
13,234
2
81
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Originally posted by: joshsquall
The hilarious thing to me is that a majority of the people who rip on Bonds know absolutely nothing about him.

And you would know that how?

To rehash some information that everybody already knows:

The first 12 years of his career he averaged a home run every 16.1 at-bats.
Once he turned 35, that ratio was 1:8.9.

Oh, and his cap size went up (would have gone up even more had he not shaved his head) and his shoe size increased by 2.5 sizes IN HIS 30'S.

Maybe I don't know as much as you do, but I know as much as I need to know.

Bonds is a cheater.

Weird. Majority != 100%... hm....

And anyway:
Ratio of at-bats to home runs means nothing. You can find 100 other players with similar ratio changes.

His cap size went up by 1/4 of a size since 1993. This includes shaving his head, yes. He didn't have an afro. 1/4 of a size can be explained by weight gain (he's getting older and fatter) or style change. The same two explanations apply to the growth in his chest size.

Shoe size, I have no idea. Realistically, why would steroids cause a 2.5 size increase? Muscles don't control the length of your feet and steroids don't elongate bones. If anything, steroids should have caused him to upgrade to wide/extra-wide cleats.
 

wyvrn

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
10,074
0
0
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Originally posted by: joshsquall
The hilarious thing to me is that a majority of the people who rip on Bonds know absolutely nothing about him.

And you would know that how?

To rehash some information that everybody already knows:

The first 12 years of his career he averaged a home run every 16.1 at-bats.
Once he turned 35, that ratio was 1:8.9.

Oh, and his cap size went up (would have gone up even more had he not shaved his head) and his shoe size increased by 2.5 sizes IN HIS 30'S.

Maybe I don't know as much as you do, but I know as much as I need to know.

Bonds is a cheater.

Prove it.

Go Bonds!
 

herkulease

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2001
3,923
0
0
Originally posted by: wyvrn
Originally posted by: dbk
Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
The pitcher had already given two hits up to him, what a moron for giving him something to hit.

Yeah, the guy just missed the location. It was supposed to be outside and the pitch was inside.

Hey, Bonds is a good player. He can make a pitcher pay for a mistake.

Not really. You expect a professional baseball player that has made it to the Majors to be able to crush a ball that was hung out that bad.

It looked like a batting practice meat ball. the pitcher knew the second he let go, it was over and the ball was gonna be crushed.
 

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,994
779
126
Originally posted by: joshsquall
Originally posted by: Phokus
Originally posted by: her209
Why do people hate on Bonds?

Because he cheated and he's a d*ck... if he was more contrite about it and was a man about it, i don't think it would be this big a deal.

How do you know he cheated, and why is he a dick? What specifically has he done/said that makes you feel that way?

1. Because he used steroids and it's beyond a reasonable doubt. His 'excuse' is that the steroid 'cream' he was putting on his body, he didn't know it was steroids he was using at the time :roll: :roll: :roll:

2. I think even San Fran fans would admit that he's a dick.
 

lizardboy

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2000
3,488
0
71
Originally posted by: wyvrn
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Originally posted by: joshsquall
The hilarious thing to me is that a majority of the people who rip on Bonds know absolutely nothing about him.

And you would know that how?

To rehash some information that everybody already knows:

The first 12 years of his career he averaged a home run every 16.1 at-bats.
Once he turned 35, that ratio was 1:8.9.

Oh, and his cap size went up (would have gone up even more had he not shaved his head) and his shoe size increased by 2.5 sizes IN HIS 30'S.

Maybe I don't know as much as you do, but I know as much as I need to know.

Bonds is a cheater.

Prove it.

Go Bonds!

Still believe in Santa Claus?
 

herkulease

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2001
3,923
0
0
Originally posted by: zainali
who caught the ball?

FSN bay area showed some guy caught. It looked like it was a pit fight.

the ball bounced twice. once I think off someone's glove. didn't catch the second bounce.

but he looked to have on a dodger jersey. unless the giants decided to make one with blue outlining.
 
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