A wife cheats on her husband

[Deeko]

Child support is understandable. Splitting assets is frustrating, but somewhat understandable. Alimony? Complete farce. How in our "equal" society something as absurd as alimony can exist is beyond me.

 

[BoomerD]

This kind of thing is just about as abhorrent to me as a guy being forced to pay child support for a child that DNA has proven ISN'T his child, but instead is the "love child" between his wife and some other swinging dick.

I've been married so long that she's guaranteed 1/2 of my pension, 1/2 (or more) of everything we've accumulated over the years, and most likely, 1/2 of everything I would ever earn AFTER a divorce.

For me, it's cheaper to keep her.

 

[mizzou]

Your co-worker sounds like he might be the bad apple of the relationship

1. How do you inherit a house with a mortgage? Sounds like he just assumed a debt and opted to continue paying principal and interest to keep the house.
2. Why did kids go to Mom if she was the cheating doucehbag?
3. Why did he let the house go to foreclosure? Surely there was some equity


Either way, the kids lose every single time in these situations, but at least they aren't around their parents. I'm a firm believer you need to divorce earlier rather then later.

 

[zerocool84]

If only more people listen to Tom Leykis.......

 

[SampSon]

Better divorce lawyer.

 

[child of wonder]

Every woman receiving alimony is guilty of rape.

An antiquated law that no longer applies to today's society.

Sure, in the 1950's when women did not have as many opportunities or earning power as men it makes sense since the man was expected to take care of the woman. However, now women demand equality and, in my opinion, they should have it. One of the parts of being EQUAL is that when a marriage ends, neither party is responsible for maintaining the lifestyle of the other, save for when children are involved and the one without full custody pays support.

 

[Nebor]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
If only more people listen to Tom Leykis.......

Yup. At least here in Texas vagina-mony has been extremely restricted to the disabled & the like.

 

[TruePaige]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
Every woman receiving alimony is guilty of rape.

An antiquated law that no longer applies to today's society.

Sure, in the 1950's when women did not have as many opportunities or earning power as men it makes sense since the man was expected to take care of the woman. However, now women demand equality and, in my opinion, they should have it. One of the parts of being EQUAL is that when a marriage ends, neither party is responsible for maintaining the lifestyle of the other, save for when children are involved and the one without full custody pays support.

Exactly.

Heck, and I'm happy and never been divorced.

I just think it's wrong.

 

[GenHoth]

No fault is also just bullshit. If the man cheats he gets reamed, if the woman cheats he gets reamed anyway. How is that no fault? Its just playing screw the male!

 

[imported_Champ]

this serves a lesson...only marry women with twice your net worth

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: Sawyer
From stories like this I can see how guys can snap and off their wife.

would be cheaper in most states.

In NC if you are a man you get r@ped by the judge in divorce court.

If I ever get married again, it will be with a pre-nup.

I know of all too many guys that have gotten bent over by NC judges.

I can understand having to pay REASONABLE child support.

But I know of several guys who are absolutely getting crushed with child support.

One guy...two kids, made around 65-70k. He's paying 1400/month. He was a mechanic. That business has been going downhill for years. He never changed jobs, but his pay kept going down....but there was no way to get them to adjust the child support down. Dude had to live with his parents....there was no way he could afford any type of housing.
Meanwhile, the wife had his 1400/month, plus her salary. 1400 a month is totally ridiculous for two kids.

Another dude, made a little more, probably 75-80k, one kid. 900/month. His wife cheated on him. I kept telling him to hire a PI, but he didn't.
He had to pay his wife 1/2 the equity in his home.....which she never contributed to. He owned the home they first lived in before marriage. Had lots of equity. Sold that home, and because of the equity, bought a larger on in a very nice neighborhood. Because they bought that home "together", meaning after they were married, all that equity from the original home became 1/2 hers. Complete and utter bullshit.

Again, I have no problem with forcing parents to pay for child support...by all means, they should, but the percentage is WAY out of whack. It's totally unfair to leave the paying parent with practically nothing to live on.

Edit: Virginia is crazy on this subject, too.

My Mom's husband's ex is crazy. When my step-sisters were still under 18, Mom's husband was paying child support. He's a DBA, a real expert in older mainframe-type programming. That work is slowly drying up. He's always been a consultant-type employee...work for a year or so making good money, out of work up to six months.
At one point, he was making less than he was accustomed to, but that was the only job he could find at the time. He was still looking for higher-paying work, but hadn't found it.
His ex got a lawyer to convince a judge that he should have been making more, so the judge ordered his child support payments INCREASED, even though he wasn't making the salary to justify it.....because they said he "should" have been making more. He couldn't find the higher paying work, so he couldn't pay the increase, and he eventually had to go to jail for 90 days. They let him commute to work from jail.

 

[Zysoclaplem]

I'm not sure how divorce works exactly, but I believe that both parties must agree to it.
Would it not be cheaper just to refuse the divorce and get seperated?
I may be wrong.

 

[greentea456]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
If only more people listen to Tom Leykis.......

as tom always say, marriage has NO benefit to man.

can you take me out Kobe style please!

 

[ajf3]

The whole alimony thing gets better too... It seems somewhat common for the women who are drawing alimony to not remarry - even if they're shacking up/in long term relationships/having kids with another guy so that they can keep receiving alimony.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl

Originally posted by: boomhower
One of my coworkers has 70% of his check taken for child support(4 kids, three different mothers). When he asked the Judge how he was supposed to pay his bills, "get another job".

Your coworker is a fucking idiot. I have no sympathy for him. Explain to him that condoms are cheaper than child support.

This is what I was going to say. Paying support to one mother makes sense, but 4 kids between 3 different mothers?

You would think this is the kind of mistake you only have to make once (hopefully never, but certainly not more than once).

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: mb
prenup++

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't a prenup only protect what you have before you get married? I think anything you earn after getting married cannot be protected by a prenup, and is fair game for alimony in the event of a divorce.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

I would never, ever advocate violence against women.

But he needs to kill her.

 

[0roo0roo]

basically the law was made for times when women were expected to depend on the husband and were considered big children.

that feminists didn't fight to have this changed shows how little their talk of equality meant.

 

[Agentbolt]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
I'm not sure how divorce works exactly, but I believe that both parties must agree to it.
Would it not be cheaper just to refuse the divorce and get seperated?
I may be wrong.

No, both parties don't have to agree to it at all. That'd be pretty messed up if you wanted a divorce, your spouse said "No" and you were stuck being separated at best.

Prenups are bullshit. People don't seem to realize that prenups can be thrown out for a variety of reasons. Let's say you're a billionaire, you marry a hot poor chick, and your prenup says she only gets 20,000 bucks. The judge can throw it out for being unfair. And judges will ROUTINELY rule that the woman only receiving .0001% of a guy's money after being married for a few years is unfair.

Let's say the prenup is more than fair, but the chick still wants more. All she has to do is say "well I didn't sign it voluntarily at the time" and she's got a decent chance of getting it kicked.

Or hell, maybe the court just didn't feel like upholding it.

There are circumstances in which courts have refused to enforce certain portions/provisions of such agreements. For example, in an April, 2007 decision by the Appellate Division in New Jersey, the court refused to enforce a provision of a prenuptial agreement relating to the wife's waiver of her interest in the husband's savings plan. The New Jersey court held that when the parties executed their prenuptial agreement, it was not foreseeable that the husband would later increase his contributions toward the savings plan.

Source

The solution to almost all of this shit is to simply not get married. You're not less in love or an affront to common sense. There is NO reason to get married other than to step into line with the majority of society or make someone else happy.

Child support issues are their own ball of wax that I won't get into, but alimony is complete and utter bullshit. The only VAGUELY redeeming feature is that you can't go to jail for not paying it like you can child support. Simply stop paying alimony, the worst she can usually do is send a collection agency after you. I'd rather wreck my credit in that situation than let her win.

 

[Dumac]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
The solution to almost all of this shit is to simply not get married. You're not less in love or an affront to common sense. There is NO reason to get married other than to step into line with the majority of society or make someone else happy.

Child support issues are their own ball of wax that I won't get into, but alimony is complete and utter bullshit. The only VAGUELY redeeming feature is that you can't go to jail for not paying it like you can child support. Simply stop paying alimony, the worst she can usually do is send a collection agency after you. I'd rather wreck my credit in that situation than let her win.

Excluding getting married for religious reasons, I agree with you. Why do people need to get married to have a meaningful, long relationship?

 

[RaistlinZ]

Originally posted by: TonyB
no, first mistake was getting married.

For true.

But what about common-law marriages? What if I'm with a woman for 20 years and we never get married. If we separate does the state view our relationship as a marriage, and would the woman be entitled to any of my assets? I live in Cali by the way.

 

[JS80]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
I'm not sure how divorce works exactly, but I believe that both parties must agree to it.
Would it not be cheaper just to refuse the divorce and get seperated?
I may be wrong.

No, both parties don't have to agree to it at all. That'd be pretty messed up if you wanted a divorce, your spouse said "No" and you were stuck being separated at best.

Prenups are bullshit. People don't seem to realize that prenups can be thrown out for a variety of reasons. Let's say you're a billionaire, you marry a hot poor chick, and your prenup says she only gets 20,000 bucks. The judge can throw it out for being unfair. And judges will ROUTINELY rule that the woman only receiving .0001% of a guy's money after being married for a few years is unfair.

Let's say the prenup is more than fair, but the chick still wants more. All she has to do is say "well I didn't sign it voluntarily at the time" and she's got a decent chance of getting it kicked.

Or hell, maybe the court just didn't feel like upholding it.

There are circumstances in which courts have refused to enforce certain portions/provisions of such agreements. For example, in an April, 2007 decision by the Appellate Division in New Jersey, the court refused to enforce a provision of a prenuptial agreement relating to the wife's waiver of her interest in the husband's savings plan. The New Jersey court held that when the parties executed their prenuptial agreement, it was not foreseeable that the husband would later increase his contributions toward the savings plan.

Source

The solution to almost all of this shit is to simply not get married. You're not less in love or an affront to common sense. There is NO reason to get married other than to step into line with the majority of society or make someone else happy.

Child support issues are their own ball of wax that I won't get into, but alimony is complete and utter bullshit. The only VAGUELY redeeming feature is that you can't go to jail for not paying it like you can child support. Simply stop paying alimony, the worst she can usually do is send a collection agency after you. I'd rather wreck my credit in that situation than let her win.

Not getting married will not get you off the hook. Nowadays women can sue you for support if you were with them for a long time but never got married. I forgot what the term for that is.

edit: palimony

 

[RaistlinZ]

Originally posted by: JS80

Originally posted by: Agentbolt

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem
I'm not sure how divorce works exactly, but I believe that both parties must agree to it.
Would it not be cheaper just to refuse the divorce and get seperated?
I may be wrong.

No, both parties don't have to agree to it at all. That'd be pretty messed up if you wanted a divorce, your spouse said "No" and you were stuck being separated at best.

Prenups are bullshit. People don't seem to realize that prenups can be thrown out for a variety of reasons. Let's say you're a billionaire, you marry a hot poor chick, and your prenup says she only gets 20,000 bucks. The judge can throw it out for being unfair. And judges will ROUTINELY rule that the woman only receiving .0001% of a guy's money after being married for a few years is unfair.

Let's say the prenup is more than fair, but the chick still wants more. All she has to do is say "well I didn't sign it voluntarily at the time" and she's got a decent chance of getting it kicked.

Or hell, maybe the court just didn't feel like upholding it.

There are circumstances in which courts have refused to enforce certain portions/provisions of such agreements. For example, in an April, 2007 decision by the Appellate Division in New Jersey, the court refused to enforce a provision of a prenuptial agreement relating to the wife's waiver of her interest in the husband's savings plan. The New Jersey court held that when the parties executed their prenuptial agreement, it was not foreseeable that the husband would later increase his contributions toward the savings plan.

Source

The solution to almost all of this shit is to simply not get married. You're not less in love or an affront to common sense. There is NO reason to get married other than to step into line with the majority of society or make someone else happy.

Child support issues are their own ball of wax that I won't get into, but alimony is complete and utter bullshit. The only VAGUELY redeeming feature is that you can't go to jail for not paying it like you can child support. Simply stop paying alimony, the worst she can usually do is send a collection agency after you. I'd rather wreck my credit in that situation than let her win.

Not getting married will not get you off the hook. Nowadays women can sue you for support if you were with them for a long time but never got married. I forgot what the term for that is.

edit: palimony

Here's more from that link...

"Marvin v. Marvin

Michelle Marvin claimed that Lee Marvin, who was still married at the time they began living together, had promised to support her for the rest of her life. In the end, in Marvin v. Marvin, the California Supreme Court ruled that Michelle Marvin had not proven the existence of a contract between herself and Mr. Marvin that gave her an interest in his property. Thus, the common law rule applied to the situation without alteration, and she took away from the relationship and the household what she brought to it.

The Court went on to explain that while the state abolished common law marriage in 1896, California law recognizes non-marital relationship contracts. These contracts may be express or implied, oral or written--but they must be provable in any case. The contract may also provide for a sexual relationship as long as it is not a contract for sexual services. Eventually, the California Court of Appeal ruled that since Triola and Lee Marvin never had any contract, she was entitled to no money."


Jeez, it seems entering into any kind of long-term relationship is dangerous these days if you don't want to be sued for everything you're worth. I think I made the wise choice on staying a bachelor.

 

[irishScott]

Justice and Law are two different things. Justice is about what's right and what's not. Law is about ass-kissing, mob appeal, lying, and money. Mucho money.

 

[Corporate Thug]

Originally posted by: Arkitech
So I was talking to a coworker who recently transferred into my department and he was telling me about his divorce. His wife was cheating on him with a guy from her job, one of her coworkers informed the husband. He filed for divorced, the judge ordered him to pay child support for 2 kids and alimony. So he moves out of the house that he inherited from his parents so the kids would'nt have to be uprooted, the wife does'nt pay the mortgage and the house is lost in foreclosure. In the meantime my coworker lives in a small basement apartment in a crappy neighborhood struggling to make ends meet.

How is this legal? I admit I'm pretty naive about divorce laws but this just does'nt seem right at all. There's another story like this that I read online, basically a rich guy marries a woman, she cheats on him and walks away with more than 20 million of his money. Then he also gets to pay child support for the kids she had in a previous relationship. wtfbbq!! I don't understand the legal system at all.

I would venture to guess that IL is a no fault state, in which case the cheating is irrelevant. The only factor in alimony calculations would then be earning power