advice with women.

[LtPage1]

ok, disclaimer: im in high school. this is a stupid high school problem. ill probably have forgotten all about it by this time next year. none of this will have any kind of a long-term effect on me. i understand this perfectly. you dont need to point it out to me.

ok. so theres this girl i really, really like (im going to refrain from using the word "love" because im sure a lot of you guys who have actually been in love will notice that i dont know what im talking about with the word). so. im REALLY into her. head over heels. anyways, i was pretty sure she knew, and that she might be a little into me.
so anyways, one of my better friends is, as of this morning, going out with her. he had no idea i was into this girl, and is still in the dark about it. id like for him to stay that way.
ok. so- im pretty broken up about this. when i talk to her (i have a few classes with her, and talk to her a lot anyways), should i try to ignore the fact that she has a boyfriend, and try to avoid the subject? should i openly flirt with her? should i pretend like nothings happened? i dont want to lose her. having her as a friend is better than nothing.
also- kicking the guys ass is out of the question. like i said, hes a good friend of mine, and i dont want to lose him, either. although to be honest, if it came down to a choice between the two, id go with the girl.



thanks for suffering through all of that. yes, i am pathetic. so- advice, please.:brokenheart:

 

[thirtythree]

You're a good friend.

 

[Kelvrick]

Look up skywalker. Don't be like him.

All of life's problems solved.

 

[welst10]

pics?

 

[wfbberzerker]

not much you can do, besides waiting it out.

 

[GonzoCircus]

you can be friends with her and be friends with him while respecting thier relationship

or

you can tell her how you feel and see what happens, but you may end up with two less friends

 

[Schadenfroh]

yes, it sucks, been there, done that

 

[LOLyourFace]

You answered your own questions: He's your good friend.

1. If above is true, why would you openly flirt with her?
2. If above is true, why would you ignore the fact that she's with him?
3. If above is true, why would you pretend like nothing happened? Something happened and running away from reality isn't going to do anything.

Your opening sentences are self-supporting. Just move on, it'll just be a stupid crush when you look back.. By that time you'll have yourself a beautiful GF :beer: :heart:

 

[rh71]

I don't mean to make light of the situation but it applies. Don't mow another man's lawn. Befriend her... be yourself, but not flirtatious. Just because your friend is dating her doesn't mean you're out of the running. This is HS... it won't last.

 

[jtusa]

If your friend honestly had no idea, then you are not allowed to make any advances towards her at all, and must shun any advances she makes towards you. It's the Code of the West.

ETA: If/When they break up you may make your move if you have your friend's permission.

 

[Farvacola]

If you can live, stay friends with her until your friend and her's relationship hits the rocks. Such relationships don't last long, and you can be the comforting shoulder for her and then become even better friends.

 

[JeffCos]

I say keep acting exactly the same as you have been. If you've always flirted with her, then keep it up. That's why she's your friend.

 

[oneshot47]

Its HS dude, flirt.

 

[candicec]

LtPage1...aww...I feel for you man!!

HS can be so hard...I remember those times..pining for someone that is just not available is a waste of your time..trust me. Just try and remain friends with both of them, and if/when the time comes that dating her IS an option...then go for it. She must not have known how you felt about her/or not cared..if she is currently going out with your friend? Maybe you should be more communicative of your feelings.

As for openly flirting with her, if you're cute, and you say pretty good friends with her, I'm sure she wouldn't mind you flirting with her. Girls LOVE ATTENTION..just remember that...from cool guys..not dorks.

As long as you think your psyche can handle flirting with her, and your friend won't get pissed..then do it if it makes you happy...I personally, think flirting is harmless..

But just remember things like this is what High School is made of..You are SUPPOSED to suffer during these years. That way, when you are grown up..you can look back and laugh at it...


Hang in there!!

Your pal,

candicec

 

[compfreak999]

dont listen to some of these id iots^_~, listen to a fellow high schooler! Just act casual around her and get to know her a bit more, like to the extent that you guys hang out outside of school time (ahem not a date) and then decide then if you "like" her, if you do then take further steps! good luck! haha im almost in the same sistuation.

 

[TechnoKid]

dont ask dont tell; play dumb like you don't know, unless he knows you know he is gong out with her. dude its HS, you can flirt, conversate, act cool around her. main thing is if you ever casually ask her to hang out, ask her only that "hey we should hang out sometime", to hang out [as friends (but dont say friends)] and don't ask her [speciafically] on a date if you are worried it will mess things up; it prob will.

you two have a friendship, and there are other ways of strengthing a friendship without haveing to be going out with her, imo.

 

[badmouse]

what you have in your head is a fantasy. it isn't real

the real part is what you and she have together: a relationship. you're NOT the bf, you're the friend of her bf. you flirt with her and she likes it! that's great. and you have a friend, that's good, too.

don't mix up the two parts. reality is much better than fantasy

there's nothing wrong with great fantasy, but don't get it mixed up with real life. that way lies insanity.

of course, the whole point of high school is to experience that insanity and figure out that it sucks, otherwise you'll get really messed up out here in the real world.

 

[eigen]

Dont play games or play using the rules.Dont wait to call her or play like you dont...Grow a pair tell her how you feel..
If that doesnt work buy her some expensive shit.

 

[Chompman]

Just buy her something shiny and if she doesn't "like you that way" wave it in front of her face and hope she forgot what you asked

And by shiny I mean like jewels or better yet ... a mirror

 

[Mo0o]

You just got owned because you didn't make a move and he did. If you are a good person you will hide your feelings and support your two friends in their relationship.

 

[LtPage1]

thanks guys. youre all right. i really appreciate it- these forums are the BEST.