AHH!! What to do?!!?

[Kelvrick]

My friends are all wimps and are asleep. I wouldn't tell em anyway so I'm posting on here for advice. Here's the situation. *warning* kind of long read *end of warning* **names have been changed**

I'm starting my first year at UC Davis on the 28th of this month. They had summer advising though about a month ago and I went up there and met some people. Kelvrick=viet guy, Evelyn=chinese girl, Moon=korean guy, ellen=white girl, anny=filipino girl. Ok, so we all meet up and end up spending the 2nd and 3rd day pretty much in each others company. We get along great and exchange numbers and aim names and all that.

So, Kelvrick decides he likes Evelyn. Now, being the semi-shy guy I am, I'm great at becoming friends and such, but suck @ss at anything beyond that so I do like nothing. Sides, talking wise she doesn't seem very interested in a relationship right now. I just treat her a wee bit better then everyone else and such. Make references to her instead of the group in general when I talk to her. So, its all good and after summer advising is over, she goes back home to San Jose and I come down to So Cal.

Labor Day weekend, her family comes down to LA to visit some relatives and I say we should hang out and such. My brother's wedding is that saturday though, so I'm not free on friday because of all the preparations. So, we only have Sunday left and we end up going to Universal Studios Hollywood with one of her friends that goes to school down here now. Ellen was supposed to be there too, but her trip was cancelled so its the 3 of us. So, we have a fun day and me being the cool guy buys lunch and such. Day ends and she goes up to San Jose that night. Me=hoping she likes me.

Now, we talk about every day since then and I started talking to her friend too. Now, just today we were talking over AIM and her friend asks me if I like Evelyn (almost typed her real name there). I'm all freaked out and i answer with a "I guess so" and she says that she thinks Evelyn likes me too. We'd look cute together. So, she's all pushing me to ask Evelyn out when school starts for us. I don't know what to do though, her friend is pretty sure she likes me, but then I don't know what to do. Its gonna suck if I end up asking her and she says she's not in the mood and then we're gonna feel weird when next to each other. So, now, the other girl says she's gonna be subtle about it and see if Evelyn is in the mood for a relationship.

So, I don't know what to do. Before you give advice, you should know I'm the guy thats not looking for a bang or anything like that. I want my relationships to last for a long time and maybe forever. The answer is probably obvious, but I'm still kinda freaked over the fact her friend decided I liked her out of the blue.

I wonder how many of you are still on.

 

Large paragraphs are hard to read.

More english is needed.

 

[Kelvrick]

Happy? HAPPY?! I hope you're happy!! j/k wait, j/k. umm wait, no... umm...

 

[mztykal]

Ask her out.

You'll never get anywhere with the opposite sex if you don't do anything.

You have nothing to lose if you ask her. If her friend tell's you she likes you, trust her. She wouldn't/shouldn't be fvcking with your head unless you did something mean/bad to her. So I would ask.

The worst she can say is no. Then you'd have to work to get back to friend status. But if you think it's worth it, take a chance.

Life's too short to be hiding in a corner, cowering in a blanket.

 

[Shockwave]

I didnt read all of it. In fact, I didnt read any of it.
But! I find putting their hand it warm water when their asleep is funny as hell.
Thats what i recommend

 

[Kelvrick]

<< Life's too short to be hiding in a corner, cowering in a blanket. >>



You read my reply in the spider thread didn't you?!
I don't think I did anything. I paid for her food and all that at Universal. In her words:

"I think she likes you a lot. She talks about you all the time"
and then later:

"you two would be cute together"

Edited to respond to Shockwave:

<< I didnt read all of it. In fact, I didnt read any of it.
But! I find putting their hand it warm water when their asleep is funny as hell.
Thats what i recommend >>



I don't think I should be doing that in this situation. P.S. Nef!! nef!! Good one though.

 

[whiterice33]

<< being the semi-shy guy I am >>



I'd stay that way since that's the reason she likes you in the first place. Take it slow and don't let it interfere with your studies.
*sigh* i have my own problems to deal with
let us know how it works out, gl

 

[mztykal]

Dude, paying for her is a give in. You should do that if you have any manners what-so-ever.

Just take a chance and be "more-friendly" with her if you don't want to ask her out yet.

I don't mean like totally make an ass of yourself. But do things she'll notice, but won't be bothered by. Like if you're alone, give her a massage. If you go to the movies, put your arm around her, open doors for her, treat her better than you treat your friends. Just be a gentlemen.

She'll respect that and GROW to like you more than she already does.

Don't worry, if she likes you, it'll come out on her own.

I would wait since you're not so sure.

 

[Kelvrick]

<<

<< being the semi-shy guy I am >>



I'd stay that way since that's the reason she likes you in the first place. Take it slow and don't let it interfere with your studies.
*sigh* i have my own problems to deal with
let us know how it works out, gl >>



How do you know that? Maybe its my superbly witty remarks? Or.. um... I'm fine!

What kinda problems. Care to share?

Edited to respond to mztykal. I meant I payed for all of em. Her AND her friend. We were in line to pay and I just told the cashier I'm covering both of em. I mentioned that since you said her friend shouldn't be fvcking with my head.

 

[GoldenGuppy]

Really difficult to keep things straight when you project 3rd to 1st person forms in such a stylish fashion but it makes sense, so let me give you my two cents :



<< I'm great at becoming friends and such >>



You got the hardest part down, right there! Getting to know people is a really difficult thing for a lot of guys to do (I'm not saying all guys, and you are an example of this). and it seems from what you are saying that you are subtly showing her that you are giving her a little more attention than everybody else - trust me, she will most likely see this.. and know what you are up to! She'll be unsure at first, but if you keep it up, she'll get a better clue as time goes on... so what do you do? You continuing doing what you're doing right now! And you pay more attention to her as you go along... you pay attention to the way that she acts around you... if she seems as if she is becoming closer/friendlier, then it's all good for you... but if she seems to subside... then maybe you should

A: alter your actions towards her to a different form of infatuation
B: Give up, and move on

Note: you can get burnt w/ option A




<< Labor Day weekend, her family comes down to LA to visit some relatives and I say we should hang out and such. My brother's wedding is that saturday though, so I'm not free on friday because of all the preparations. So, we only have Sunday left and we end up going to Universal Studios Hollywood with one of her friends that goes to school down here now >>



This might turn out to work for you! BEcause you have showed her that you want to spend time w/ her... but since you have other priorities (wedding) you come off to her as "wanting to spend time" but... also not being obsessed to the point where she would be your top priority - I personally think that this is a good move and that the wedding might be a blessing in disguise



<< Now, just today we were talking over AIM and her friend asks me if I like Evelyn (almost typed her real name there). >>



So she sees it.. and have told her friend to go spy on you for her.. that's the most likely case... either that OR she doesn't see it and her friends see it and are looking for ways to reiterate their stance... either way... you're at a crossroads here.



<< I'm all freaked out and i answer with a "I guess so" and she says that she thinks Evelyn likes me too. >>



Horrible answer though - you had no reason to have freaked out, you should've been calm - it was on AIM for God's sake... you could've been a lot more cool about it and say, "Eh, not sure, she's real cool to me right now, but I don't know what my true feelings for her are, yet" that would've thrown them off

Hmm... it seems as if maybe Evelyn likes you, but she doesn't want to ask you out... so she is having her friend push you to make a move on her... her friend might really be saying "SHE LIKES YOU, GO ASK HER OUT, DUMBO" - because girls tell their friends most things (not everything, but most) and I'm sure that she likes you and have told her friend to help you two hook it up....

Go for it... chances of you succeeding are high... unless her friend is a complete bitch and setting everything up (they exist, y'know :|)

Good luck - and just think about it, you're a Vietnamese Guy - Girls love us... it must be something that's innate... I dunno

><GG>

 

[mztykal]

<< and just think about it, you're a Vietnamese Guy - Girls love us >>

Not in Hawaii.

 

[GoldenGuppy]

<< << and just think about it, you're a Vietnamese Guy - Girls love us >>

Not in Hawaii. >>



Hehe, I think that might be true! Although I do have some family members who live in Hawai'i - Honolulu actually, but they're mixed - half German and Half Vietnamese... so I guess they get that perk... eh, I'm more of a California guy, myself

><GG>

 

[HamSupLo]

You better make a move soon or you'll be stuck being just a friend. Go to Askmen.com for more advice.

 

[mztykal]

I'm Japanese. I do alright here in Hawaii. Don't know how well I'd fare in Cali though.

 

[Kelvrick]

<< Really difficult to keep things straight when you project 3rd to 1st person forms in such a stylish fashion but it makes sense, so let me give you my two cents : >>



Really? I didn't reread it to see if it was understandable.



<< This might turn out to work for you! BEcause you have showed her that you want to spend time w/ her... but since you have other priorities (wedding) you come off to her as "wanting to spend time" but... also not being obsessed to the point where she would be your top priority - I personally think that this is a good move and that the wedding might be a blessing in disguise >>



I would have been stalker material to do that. Me being best man and all...



<< So she sees it.. and have told her friend to go spy on you for her >>



Ahh!!! I never thought of it that way!!



<< Horrible answer though - you had no reason to have freaked out, you should've been calm - it was on AIM for God's sake... you could've been a lot more cool about it and say, "Eh, not sure, she's real cool to me right now, but I don't know what my true feelings for her are, yet" that would've thrown them off >>



Mind games!!

 

[Kelvrick]

<< << and just think about it, you're a Vietnamese Guy - Girls love us >>

Not in Hawaii. >>



If I wasn't posting this situation, I would have responded with, "That's cuzz I'm not in hawaii!"

Damnit, conflicting advice. Keep the way it is and scope out the situation and go for it. Her friend says go for it though... More responses people! Once her friend gets back to me tomorrow though, then I'll bump this guy up with an update.

 

[mztykal]

Put it this way, you're almost to home, but stuck on second with two outs and the batter at the plate is the best on your team.

You're more than likely to get brought home. Just wait awhile till he finds his pitch, then "BAM", you're home free...

 

[GoldenGuppy]

Girls are a difficult subject of study... and I've gone through the AP bio, AP english, etc, etc ... and I've gone through the Philosophy.. the advance philosophy, the sociology, the cultural anthropology, and I still seem to have a hard time understanding girls! (granted none of those subjects gave such a matter much thought) but it is still rather shocking to go through such education and be stymied by such... pretty things

We don't know why we like them... but we do.. and that is confusing in itself! :Q

But just think about it this way.... they need about 4-5 of their friends to understand what the hell we MEN are thinking half the time... why else do you think there are slumber parties? It's merely a conceptual cover-up of a deeper ploy! They're actually engaging in internal discussions about how to confuse men and make particular gains for women! A sneaky bunch they are!

But you know what the three secret weapons are?

Talent
Brains
Looks

You can be a God Damn MUTE when it comes to girls... they'll still fall for you if you have those factors

><GG>

 

[Jfur]

well, we girls USUALLY send other girls to find out if you like us and send informal signals that we like you....

IF this friend is really a friend, and is a like most women, it means one of two things....

1) Evelyn knows the friend talked to you (likely on a mission) and She really wants you to ask her so you two can get together
2) knows the friend talked to you (likely on a mission) and She really wants you to ask her so she can play hard to get (innocent-like)

Either way, as long as you are not impolite or forceful, letting her know you are interested would be good. She will be flattered for sure. One other thing: if we understand this correctly, the friend is on some sort of mission. If you do nothing, it could also be perceived as disinterest... and this could offend or sadden her, too. If Evalyn DOES want to get together, make sure that you don't act too cool or too excited, otherwise she will either feel undesired or stalked. While it's scary, the best option is to let her know that you are having feelings towards her and see how she reacts.

You could also be sly and ask the friend to inquire about Evelyn's feelings (knowing that she is probably already in the loop here). Make sure to let the friend know that you are interested.

 

[Kelvrick]

mztykal, that refering to bases confused me. I was like, 2nd base? I haven't even held her hand yet!

Jfur, I'm sure she's a friend cuzz then evelyn crashed at her friend's dorm for a night or two while she was down here. But, you're saying the friend tricked me and is evil. But, I can use her to further my cause.... Ok, when I next talk to the friend, I'll put a little emphesis on me liking her.

edit: also, she was kinda slow to respond during this time. So, maybe she was relaying all of my sayings back to the girl! Oh my god! She's evil! but... I guess its a good thing....

 

[GoldenGuppy]

Eh - simply put - you can go ahead and take a sample of what women actually think from a professional editorial!


Check out the GIRLS section

><GG>

 

[mztykal]

<< mztykal, that refering to bases confused me. I was like, 2nd base? I haven't even held her hand yet >>

Sorry bout that. I meant, just wait it out. If she likes you (she probably does) just wait awhile and be "nice" to her. She'll eventually give you blatant signals that she likes you and then you'll know you have no way of getting rejected. I've done this before and it works.

But if you are sure she likes you (your own decision, and not her friends opinion) then go for it.

The bases thing was meant to be taken like this.

You're past friend (first base), you're not her b/f (second base), third base (it's almost a done deal), home (you're her b/f)...

Sorry.

 

[Jfur]

<< mztykal, that refering to bases confused me. I was like, 2nd base? I haven't even held her hand yet!

Jfur, I'm sure she's a friend cuzz then evelyn crashed at her friend's dorm for a night or two while she was down here. But, you're saying the friend tricked me and is evil. But, I can use her to further my cause.... Ok, when I next talk to the friend, I'll put a little emphesis on me liking her.

edit: also, she was kinda slow to respond during this time. So, maybe she was relaying all of my sayings back to the girl! Oh my god! She's evil! but... I guess its a good thing.... >>



She might be a good friend. Probably is. But use her to "inquire: about Evalyn, although she already has in one sense. This time, you are the person inquiring, and you are "starting to have feelings" and "wonder if something could happen". Then she will talk to Evelyn who will feel secure knowing that she is not going to make an a$$ of herself and that you find her attractive. In the off-chance the friend is mistaken, you won't have to go through anything too awkward because the friend contacted you first. Whew!

In man-speak: sounds good

 

[flavio]

Dude, just whip it out and go for home.

 

[Kelvrick]

<< In man-speak: sounds good >>



Alright!! Play some scrabble?