Dealing with a chronic illness in America will turn anyone into a communist.
Yeah, I could tell you some healthcare nightmares. Suffice it to say, it's all about the money here. Profiting off of the sick, a structure that is morally bankrupt, not unlike the financial situation many patients find themselves in. Gotta pay the doc, the pharmacy, the hospital, and most importantly the insurance companies.
What the hell; I wrote the below to my counselor, Noel. I don't see her anymore, but we often converse about life:
...[ that was a bit about a recovering mutual friend a few years off of meth. He's also a long term survivor with HIV, and occasionally needs a supportive boost] "Sorry I get long winded, and I don't mean to pose questions. You are just one of this planet's, seemingly rarer, truly magnanimous souls.
This is something from my forum I thought you might find interesting.
It's from a thread I began about our minority distinctions, maybe you saw it [I sometimes share our fascinating discussions with my friends on FB], it was about divisions on all sides, and that it was obviously more one sided in this country at least, at most? It got interesting. Friday, something else interesting, possibly related, happened to me:
I had to see the doctor (my GP after my AIDS clinic denied me service-below) yesterday [two Fridays ago]; there's a weird, painless, hard bump on my right elbow, and it's growing. There's nothing like it on the left. After I saw the doctor, she led me back to the waiting room, and told me to wait. I sat there for two hours (it wasn't too bad; I had my phone, but hadn't eaten in a while).
So I went up to the counter and asked, "What am I waiting for?" I was personable as always. The receptionist said, "Orders from the doctor." I said, "For what?" She said, "Your next appointment." I said, "How long does that take?" She said, peering at her screen, "We don't have anything yet." With a bit of an eye roll she looked at her colleague at the other counter who looked at
her screen and said, "No, we have nothing yet. Please have a seat." But I remained, not out of indignation, but curiosity and the fact that I was hungry as hell; I hadn't eaten lunch yet, and it was almost 4PM (and I already had a seat, my wheelchair).
Just then the second doctor I saw walked by behind them, I said, "Dr. R...." and he just kept walking. Then the first doctor walked by, and I said, "Excuse me doctor, what am I waiting for?" She said, "We need approval for your X-ray." I asked, "How long does that take?" She said, "We'll call you." I said, "Then why did you tell me to wait?" She said, "For your follow-up appointment." I said, "How long does that take, I've been waiting for two hours?" She looked at the ladies I had been talking to behind the counter and said, "I sent the orders a long time ago." The receptionist looked at her screen again, exchanged a glance with her coworker, and said, "Oh, we just didn't see it."
So two different ladies looking at two different computer terminals couldn't see the doctor's orders, or they were lying to me.
Earlier during the exam, the doctor called in her boss who poked and prodded the bump just like she did, and they both had said, "Well, I just don't know what this is." He kept asking me, "Does this hurt?" I said no. He squeezed it, and I said, "That hurts a little." He laughed at me with an obvious "no duh" sentiment, and he said, "Well, I'm pinching you!," Then she started laughing. How could I know that he didn't want that information? Why do people enjoy trying to make others feel stupid?
Between both doctors, the ladies at reception, and all the other patients waiting, I was the only white person there [
I'm all too familiar with "reverse" racism - really just racism]. God, I hope this all wasn't about race or the fact that I'm gay (my mom told me when I was 17 and not "out" yet that it was obvious that I'm gay - others disagreed with that), or my HIV status [it was my GP, a second doctor to see, whoopee!]. So I said in a calm voice, but loud enough for the doctor to hear, "Remember, it's OK to apologize." She said nothing and handed me an appointment slip that she just needed to press a button for.
They set the appointment for way out in February. I hope it's nothing worrisome, again it's growing, and I told both doctors that.
This was after initially trying to be seen at [my HIV clinic, my unstable rock] about it, but they wouldn't allow it, I had to see the GP. She, the nurse at [HIV clinic], told me at first that they couldn't bill insurance for it because there was no way to prove it was HIV related, but I said that Dr. A has seen me and treated me/referred me many times for unrelated stuff, then she said that they couldn't make a referral. Two stories, both false based on my previous experiences. I'm starting to wonder if the paperwork was too burdensome beyond my quarterly appointments, or if it truly was about who gets paid. It's hard not to feel unwanted. If it
is the money, yay for u.s.! I guess I'm a little surprised that they're not sending me to an elbow bump specialist. So many doctors, so many frustrations. I just need help. If I only lived in Canada, or Mexico, or Sweden, or...
I really don't like the feel of the GP's, it's kind of uncomfortable, there's always some drama and anger toward staff. Last time a patient came in and started getting loud about getting a refill. They kept talking to him in the waiting room, not wanting to bring him back to a room, so we all had to hear it all. He said the script was from a doctor at Torrance Memorial who prescribed it for back pain, and that it helped him with his anxiety. I never heard the name of the med., and the staff person there said that they couldn't refill it for him, that it was meant for cancer pain, and his kidneys (on dialysis) couldn't handle it. It sounds like his previous doc got a little "experimental" going "off-label" as they do. Nurse practitioner H. did that with me, and I ended up in a wheelchair [long story]. He was still there when I came out from being examined. He was being walked out. He was calmer.
On the upside, my lunch was tastier than usual; I was ravenous.
Life."