Am I a jerk for throwing away some of the wife's stuff?

[s0me0nesmind1]

Serious question.

We're in a bit of a hectic situation in the house - whereby we are desperately trying to organize things better in order to get a more "livable" living situation. My first priority:

Get rid of the shit we won't miss. The problem? The wife wants to keep everything. Old shoes that have fallen apart? "I'll fix those some day!". Said shoes were in a box inside the garage for the last year.....

I'm at the point of tossing things in because I know they won't be missed. The latest? 2-3 years worth of YM / Cosmo magazines from her teenage years and boyband days. Sorry, that's no treasured memory. Never have I caught her looking at or through them... it's just been taking up shelf space.

What do you guys think? Am I an asshole? Or the only one being reasonable? Inb4 "How would you like it if..." Guess what? I would fucking love it if someone did me the favor of throwing away something I haven't used for the last 3+ years. Go ahead, you just did me a favor!

 

[Phoenix86]

Yes. Always, yes.

 

[SagaLore]

Nope, sounds like she's a packrat. But even if you're right she won't forgive you if you throw out something she wanted to keep.

 

[lxskllr]

Other people's stuff is their stuff. I don't get rid of anything without their ok.

 

[Lonyo]

In her eyes, yes.

In the real world, no.
If it's been packed away for that long, it's not going to have anything done with it, and it should go.

If she asks, just say there was either some damp, or insects or similar that got to them and had made them nasty and mouldy.
And dump them away from the house before telling her, so that she can't check.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

In her eyes, yes.

In the real world, no.
If it's been packed away for that long, it's not going to have anything done with it, and it should go.

If she asks, just say there was either some damp, or insects or similar that got to them and had made them nasty and mouldy.
And dump them away from the house before telling her, so that she can't check.

I'm a fan of donating it (or selling it) while it's worth something. Get that tax credit for fucks sake.

Did I mention we have a 1995 Pontiac Sunfire taking up garage space and leaving my car outside because she doesn't want to donate it but doesn't want to find time to try and sell it?

 

[GagHalfrunt]

You're right, but you're going to lose this fight, so choose a different battle. If she wants to keep the stuff she's going to keep the stuff and telling her you're throwing it out will only make her dig her heels in and resent you for trying.

Either throw it out discretely bit-by-bit over time or arrange for some "unfortunate accidental water damage" to get rid of those magazines for you.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

You're right, but you're going to lose this fight, so choose a different battle. If she wants to keep the stuff she's going to keep the stuff and telling her you're throwing it out will only make her dig her heels in and resent you for trying.

Either throw it out discretely bit-by-bit over time or arrange for some "unfortunate accidental water damage" to get rid of those magazines for you.

Oh no, don't misunderstand... if I'm throwing it away it's in secrecy lol. We're going to have a kid within the next year, if she doesn't have time to look at it now she's screwed when she has a kid to handle too

 

[xgsound]

You are completely right!!

You're going to divorce court followed by an efficiency apartment while she will still be in the house with all her old shoes and your stuff too.

But it's OK because you'll be right? My vote says you should rethink this.

Jim

 

[futurefields]

We're going to have a kid within the next year

You sure you want to do that? I mean it sounds like you have vastly different ideas of what a comfortable life style is.

 

[MongGrel]

Don't do things she'll come back at you on later.

If you're doing that kind of thing do it together and clean things out.

Yeah, kids will really complicate things, better work on the even throwing things out first.

Even if it was something she didn't care about and should be thrown out she's going to get pissed for you doing it without consent.

Not even going to comment on the fact she keeps Cosmo's, well yes I did, been there done that with a former wife.

GL there.

 

[Squisher]

If you haven't touched it in the last three years, you don't need it.

There is nothing like moving that'll change your mind about hoarding all this stuff you don't need. Up until we moved 9 years ago I was a bit of a hoarder. No more.

 

[Dirigible]

This is your future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KblAX44diZk

(The husband was living in the back yard in that episode. All the "valuable" stuff was inside.)

 

[MongGrel]

This is your future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KblAX44diZk

(The husband was living in the back yard in that episode. All the "valuable" stuff was inside.)

I'd say you're taking that to the extreme end there.

 

[Carson Dyle]

When did organizing your house ever become either "hectic" or "desperate"? Are the cockroaches starting to crowd out the rats?

Have a freaking beer and relax.

 

[KLin]

Sounds like your wife is a hoarder

 

[SKORPI0]

It's her stuff, leave it alone. But give her a heads up that you intend to donate/sell/throw things she hasn't used in the last 3 years. ^_^

 

[Markbnj]

Can't win, meet lose. You two will get along great, I know.

 

[soulcougher73]

New rule. If it hasnt been looked at, used, touched in a year. Throw it away

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Oh no, don't misunderstand... if I'm throwing it away it's in secrecy lol. We're going to have a kid within the next year, if she doesn't have time to look at it now she's screwed when she has a kid to handle too

As long as you're being sneaky you're good. The one thing you have to be careful about is to keep some of it. That way if she goes looking for something and can't find it you can point to the remaining stuff and say "see, everything is here, what you're looking for is just buried under other stuff, it'll turn up eventually". If everything gets pitched out you loose plausible deniability.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Make a square in the garage using tape, something like 5' x 5'

Tell her to put all the stuff she wants to keep in there, and the rest goes to salvation army or trash.

 

[tynopik]

can you rent a storage unit?

don't do anything behind your wife's back, 'stuff' is never worth the trust issues it will cause

 

[xgsound]

Make a square in the garage using tape, something like 5' x 5'

Tell her to put all the stuff she wants to keep in there, and the rest goes to salvation army or trash.

I think you have it wrong ... That's where he's going to have to live. That or the efficiency apartment.

Jim

 

[HomerSapien]

Drastic measure - Move. As in, move to a new place and make her move her crap. If she does it without complaining, she gets to keep it. To her, when someone else has to deal with it, its no big deal and there isn't a reason to reduce.

Oh, and move on the hottest day of the year. It gets cleared out much faster and the most important thing is it becomes her decision.

If she threatens to pay for movers, say, that was the money we were going to use for xyz, etc.

 

[MongGrel]

It's her stuff, leave it alone. But give her a heads up that you intend to donate/sell/throw things she hasn't used in the last 3 years. ^_^

I haven't touched my Tama Drum Set in years either, but if I saw the wife sneaking that out on me there would be a pain of hurt coming down.

Some things are relative I guess.