Am I being racist for wanting my kid to go to a diverse school?

[DrPizza]

Look - you live in NYC. There's no way your kid can grow up in NYC and not be exposed to cultures and people from around the world. I don't think you could filter out any race/creed/ethnic group if you tried.

Stop worrying about whether the demographic percentages of a school exactly match the demographics of the street that you live on. Go 10 blocks in any direction and the whole demographic profile shifts anyway.

1 - Is the school a safe environment?
2 - Does the school have a successful track record in getting children to graduate and go on to secondary school/high school/college?

Stop trying to create an artificial situation for your child and focus on teaching them coping skills to be able to deal with any situation in which they find themselves. Whatever race/religion a person is, at some point they'll be outnumbered and discriminated against. They need to know how to handle that.

This. A 1000 times this. If I had to list factors affecting a decision where to send my own children, diversity in the school would be pretty far down the list, particularly if outside of the school I chose, my children were already being exposed to plenty of diversity. Get the kids involved in a summer soccer league, or any of dozens of similar opportunities outside of school, to give them opportunities to interact with students of other cultures. But, get them into the school that offers them the greatest chance for future success. In fact, to a degree, I think that may mean excluding quite a few cultures, simply due to the loss of attention to your child as a result of increased demands on the teacher for non-English speaking learners.

 

[Slew Foot]

Diversity is overrated. Go to the school with the smartest or wealthiest kids.

 

[madoka]

Diversity is overrated. Go to the school with the smartest or wealthiest kids.

My cousins went to a largely Hispanic and black school district. They came out of it talking about hos, who dating who, drinking, and fighting people. When I met one of them later in life, she started begging me for my car stereo as if that were a normal thing to do. Literally begging, even though it was installed in my car and I didn't have a spare. She just felt entitled to it. From them, I learned the impact schools can have on your worldview.

As a parent, I had the choice of sending my kids to a school with 60% Hispanic or one with 60% Chinese. Guess which one is ranked as one of the best statewide?

 

[skimple]

In fact, to a degree, I think that may mean excluding quite a few cultures, simply due to the loss of attention to your child as a result of increased demands on the teacher for non-English speaking learners.

Ugh. Didn't even think about this. When my oldest started kindergarten, he spent the first three years in classes where there were 5+ ESL kids. We would always ask - "did you ask the teacher to explain"..."what did she say about"...and would always get an answer like "she didn't have time" or "we didn't get to that".

It wasn't until later that we realized that not all classes had that high a number of ESL kids. Most other classrooms only had one. Finally we went to the principle and requested that for the next school year, our kid wouldn't be put in a class with a high number of ESL kids (since our kid had spent three years already in this environment).

What a difference. I don't put any blame on the teachers, but it was very clear to us that the language barriers of a small number of kids was having a large impact on the rest of the kids' ability to get the teacher's attention.

That's definitely something to consider if you start looking at teacher/student ratios. Ask what percentage of kids are ESL kids and what resources does the school have for dealing with that. This can definitely impact a teacher's effectiveness. Particularly in NYC where it could be several different languages that have to be contended with.

 

[Genx87]

Yes, you sound racist

Why do you think there's an incorrect way to socialize? More importantly, why do you think the "socialization" she'll experience is worse just because of the races she'll be around?

You don't just sound racist, you sound like the worst kind of racist... the kind that tries to sound PC on the outside "I love my diverse slice of NYC" but then when it comes to school you expect a certain racial profile. So you're not just a racist, but a hypocrite

I find it amusing watching people who proclaim to be progressive act like this. My dad is going through this with a neighbor who sits on the city council. She is all about bringing in poor people to the city. But she doesnt want them where she lives lol. She is literally putting them on the other side of the city. NIMBY in social politics is one of the more amusing things to watch.

 

[ControlD]

As a parent, I had the choice of sending my kids to a school with 60% Hispanic or one with 60% Chinese. Guess which one is ranked as one of the best statewide?

The Hispanic one?

 

[thesmokingman]

The Hispanic one?

Is it profiling if you just look purely at the numbers?

 

[vi edit]

Diversity is overrated. Go to the school with the smartest or wealthiest kids.

Careful with the wealthiest. Wealthy kids have access to the fun stuff. And have the highest rates of drug abuse.

 

[Slew Foot]

Careful with the wealthiest. Wealthy kids have access to the fun stuff. And have the highest rates of drug abuse.

but they also have the best political and business connections. Thats worth more than actually knowing stuff.

 

[glenn1]

I find it amusing watching people who proclaim to be progressive act like this. My dad is going through this with a neighbor who sits on the city council. She is all about bringing in poor people to the city. But she doesnt want them where she lives lol. She is literally putting them on the other side of the city. NIMBY in social politics is one of the more amusing things to watch.

A lot of people who support diversity want the low representation groups around when they want someone to cook them an "ethnic" meal or perform a cultural event, but not necessarily to be peers in work, education, or social settings. They want the pretty Disney's Epcot Center "World Showcase" version of diversity rather than the FOB folks with their genital mutilation, homophobia, tribal-based violence, and other pathologies which the "pro-diversity" crowd nominally opposes but comes as part of the deal with real diversity.

https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/19/7-diversity/

 

[Slew Foot]

My cousins went to a largely Hispanic and black school district. They came out of it talking about hos, who dating who, drinking, and fighting people. When I met one of them later in life, she started begging me for my car stereo as if that were a normal thing to do. Literally begging, even though it was installed in my car and I didn't have a spare. She just felt entitled to it. From them, I learned the impact schools can have on your worldview.

As a parent, I had the choice of sending my kids to a school with 60% Hispanic or one with 60% Chinese. Guess which one is ranked as one of the best statewide?

Yeah, thats why we moved into a country club. The neighborhood is 80% asian/indian and the schools are fantastic. I work at a hospital in a town full of illegals, and the OB department here is full of pregnant teenagers from the high school. The high school at home has advancedntechnology classes and sends tons of people to elite unversities.

 

[thesmokingman]

Careful with the wealthiest. Wealthy kids have access to the fun stuff. And have the highest rates of drug abuse.

I was high throughout HS and College and I'm ok... I think?

 

[sdifox]

I agree. It's like being religious. No matter what you do you're still a worthless POS sinner begging to be spared from the fire. When it comes to god and politics follow your heart and F the establishment. Thankfully conservatives don't have this problem.

Ah, so only the left are evangelical.

 

[dr150]

While my child herself is only 1/2 caucasian, I worry (now this is the racist part) that she'll socialize ... Incorrectly.. If she were in a mostly african american and Caribbean school. Am I being racist or pragmatic?....my fear is that one cultural influence (instead of many) overwhelming her formative years might make her come home with an accent, or worse.....

Yes.....

 

[slackerinabox]

Yes.....

nvm

 

[pauldun170]

Hah, to be fair the "accent" part wasn't about "ebonics" and is very specific to a majority guyanese/trinidad/carribean population. I grew up partly in a majority carribean hood and even 2nd generation kids born in the U.S. keep their accent, and it's not an accent I find appealing. In fact, to continue being racist/honest, I find the men kinda aggressive towards women, and my sister was terrified walking home from the bus stop because the catcalling excessive, when she wasn't followed (And she was like 10). It would be my worst nightmare if my kid came home saying "aye da mai, rude boi what what," or preggers by 12.. Indians share a common lineage so I feel bad feeling this way, but guyanese men and their kids are what I'm particularly worried about. It's very cultural, they're very open with their sexuality compared to what I'm used to and I find it makes me very uncomfortable, maybe i'm a prude.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBv8KMXQj1Q&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnfFe6GXsgI&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtIKubE8D3k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxKY1wiyeEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7R_eo8AR1g&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-gnMgP1WW0&nohtml5=False

 

[slackerinabox]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBv8KMXQj1Q&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnfFe6GXsgI&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtIKubE8D3k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxKY1wiyeEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7R_eo8AR1g&nohtml5=False
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-gnMgP1WW0&nohtml5=False

ha, I grew up around this and honestly can't keep up with the accent, i have no idea what's being said most of the time. Of course indians are no better!

 

[madoka]

Is it profiling if you just look purely at the numbers?

How can it be profiling when it's based on the state's ranking from their testing?

For the record, my son attended the Hispanic majority school, where he got straight A's and was one of their best students. When he transferred to the Chinese majority school, he went to a B/C student.

Not only were his classmates more intelligent, ambitious, disciplined, and further along in their studies, there was another problem we did not expect. His new teachers did not teach everything he needed to know in their classes. Since virtually all the students there took after school tutoring programs, his teachers assumed that he would learn all the things they skipped in the after school program. Consequently, we had to sign him up for a Chinese after school program as well. So now he's effectively in school from 7:30 AM to 6:30 PM, like all the other Asian kids. It's a trade off that we were willing to make though.

 

[Sheep]

That's a good point, but would you take your child to a school that was 87% black? 87% chinese? When they're neither black or chinese, that is. I went to a school that was 95% caucasian and got my ass kicked fairly often being an outsider.

I'm not white and I went to an elementary school that was 95% white and a high school that was probably 75% white and didn't run into any of that beyond one high school fight with a guy who was known to be a dick to everyone.

 

[OutHouse]

I still apologize to them for the dumb shit they had to put up with that I thought was so funny.

when is ATOT's turn?

 

[madoka]

That's a good point, but would you take your child to a school that was 87% black? 87% chinese? When they're neither black or chinese, that is. I went to a school that was 95% caucasian and got my ass kicked fairly often being an outsider.

My kid likes sticking out at his Chinese school. He says a lot of people at school like him because he is different from them.

While he got his butt kicked academically, now he thinks he's some sort of athletic stud. I asked him why, and he said he was one of the fastest runners in his class.

Me: How fast?

Son: I can run the mile in 12 minutes.

Me: What!?!?! That's how fast the fat kids in my class would waddle/walk the mile. Stop comparing yourself to Chinese kids who never see sunlight!

 

[NetWareHead]

Do whatever you feel is best for your children and dismiss the opinions. Racist or not, I decide whats best for my kids. Politically correctness be damned.

 

[1sikbITCH]

I'm not white and I went to an elementary school that was 95% white and a high school that was probably 75% white and didn't run into any of that beyond one high school fight with a guy who was known to be a dick to everyone.

You got lucky. Black kids in my school were terrorized for sport (1970s).
Nobody ever had an issue with other races though. Never had any race wars except black vs white.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Personally, i feel you should do what is best for your child. Maybe a way to decide is what kind coarses the schools have and what the difficulty level is in those schools. What are the average grades when the finals are up ? Maybe that will help you with deciding what school is best.

 

[madoka]

Yeah, thats why we moved into a country club. The neighborhood is 80% asian/indian and the schools are fantastic. I work at a hospital in a town full of illegals, and the OB department here is full of pregnant teenagers from the high school. The high school at home has advancedntechnology classes and sends tons of people to elite unversities.

A few years ago, I talked to one of the parents at school. She was a single black mother who made incredible sacrifices to make sure that her daughter went to a good school. She gave up owning a car and worked as a waitress, all so she could live in an apartment close enough to school so she could walk her daughter there. She told me that she went to school in the hood and understood the lifelong effect that could have on you. So she was willing to do whatever it took to make sure her daughter wouldn't have the problems she did.