Am I wrong for being upset?

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: Rufio

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
what did he actually say whitey? i hate to be like this, but a lot of us are probably dying to know...the story cant just end like this.

btw, im sorry about all of this. what a bastard friend.

off topic -- i love your first sentence! AHHAAHHAHA

hehe thanks...it does sound kinda funny now that i look over it

 

[Deeko]

Bro's before Ho's like WOAH!

As some of you may remember, my ex broke up with me in a pretty poor fashion a year or so ago. Not long(a month or 2) after that, she kept making passes at my best friend from high school. He is a 'man-whore' who normally has no problems with sleeping with any girl at any time. Guess what? He turned her down, many, many times. That's how a true friend should be.

 

[whiteboy81]

I'll fill you all in on what happened a little later on tonite, I'm at work now...can't type too much.

Thanks again for your support

 

[Darkstar757]

Originally posted by: Ikonomi
No, your friend needs to learn the principle of "bros before hos".

hahahahah tooo true

 

[whiteboy81]

Alright, so basically this is what went down. Me, my other best friend, and the best friend who is currently banging my ex met up at one of our local hangouts to try and talk things through and come to an understanding. We failed miserably...

I told him that I wished I could tell him that I could just be cool with all of this, but I couldn't...if I saw them together I would be really unhappy and it is not something I can deal with. More of the story that you guys haven't heard yet is that I currently work with this girl...at least until June...I share an office with her and I have to see her everyday, so it's not like I could just not see her at all or forget that she is having sex with my best friend, which makes this even harder.

My best friend told me (while looking at the table), that he couldn't deal without seeing her anymore in a romantic fashion and that he was willing to lose his 2 best friends because of this. We were all very civil and spoke our feelings, there weren't any harsh words or put downs, we were just honest about what we thought and felt. At this point, my other best friend (the one who is not with my ex) asked if he could have some time alone with my other friend...I agreed, hoping that perhaps he could try to talk him out of his decision. I left for a while, and when I came back the best friend not doing my ex told me "I guess we are done here, lets all shake hands and be on our way". The best friend banging my ex went to shake my hand, I shook his hand and pulled him in and hugged him (in a guy way) and told him that I was sorry that I couldn't deal with this and I would miss him. Then he left, and my other best friend said he had something serious to ask me, one of those life or death kind of questions...he asked me that since he was leaving (he is planning on moving to Vietnam for an indeterminant amount of time in June) that if my other friend ever needed anything that I would take care of him...I said of course I would...I would always be there for my friend if he needed anything.

The whole thing was really emotional and may sound a bit gay, but we are talking about friendships that go back 10 years here...not the kind of thing that you come by everyday...especially in the transitional years from when you are a teenager till you are in your mid 20's. So, as it stands, I have lost one of my best friends and stand to lose another come June...my head is totally messed up right now...this is alot to deal with.

I really honestly do wish that I could just be cool with all this...it would make things so much easier...but I know that I can't be normal with my best friend watching him be with my ex...it just seems disgusting to me.

Anyway...thanks again to all the nice people out there and even the haters...more perspective on bad situations never hurts anyone.

 

[EmperorIQ]

Originally posted by: whiteboy81
I don't know, where I come from friends don't go out with other friends ex girlfriends...at least not the ones that they really cared about.

I get the logic angle you guys are working here, and I have to say that logically I agree. However, it's the emotional angle that's killing me. If you've ever been in love with someone I think you would know that it is hard to see them with someone else but you accept that they have to move on as you have, but when that someone is your best friend who you've always been loyal and respectful of, conducting a relationship behind your back, it makes it alot worse.

i agree with you, friends shouldn't go out with friend's ex girlfriends, especially if its a close friend of 10 years

 

[skace]

You had a girl you loved. There was reasons you were attracted to her. Those same reasons would be reasons that another guy would love her. You chose to give her up, a choice that comes with the consequences of any other choice in life. You decided: I cannot make this work, therefor I will break our relationship and let you go free. Perhaps you were hoping she would come back to you begging for you back. But she didn't.

Now your friend has fallen for her. You've forced him to chose between his best friend and the person who he could end up spending the rest of his life with. Now you are mad at him because he thinks this may be the right person and he can't take the chance of losing her.

I don't think you see the big picture. Maybe you don't realize that once you let go of her, she was eventually going to have sex with someone. Is it worse because it is someone that you loved as a friend (in your own words)? Would it be better if it was a convicted fellon, a psychopath, or a wife beater? You have the burden to carry from a choice you made but you also have the chance to know that 2 people you love are able to find happiness in each other.

Are you wrong for being upset? No. Are you wrong for destroying your life over a choice you made? Yes.

The funniest part of your story is the fact that you loved this girl so much but had to break up with her, yet you are still working with her for 2 more months.

 

[DaiShan]

Originally posted by: Ikonomi
No, your friend needs to learn the principle of "bros before hos".

Now I'm a firm believer in this mantra, but the guy dumped her, his friend can't just stay away from all of the girls whiteboy81 dumps. Bros before ho's is like if you go to a club and your boy is mackin it to some chick, you don't walk up and cockblock.

 

[EmperorIQ]

oh yea one more thing,

haven't you guys watched crouching tiger hidden dragon? Those 2 loved each other until death and they barely opened up their love to each other in the end because the girl originally was the guy's friend's gf.

did this had a point? don't know =\

 

[Bolvangar]

You should find some new friends.

 

[skace]

Originally posted by: EmperorIQ
oh yea one more thing,

haven't you guys watched crouching tiger hidden dragon? Those 2 loved each other until death and they barely opened up their love to each other in the end because the girl originally was the guy's friend's gf.

did this had a point? don't know =\

Yea that was sad. I think the phrase is "Opportunity lost"

 

[shimsham]

here is the clincher for me: are the feelings they have genuine? sounds like it if he is willing to lose you for her, and she is willing to pursue it, also. if they truly love each other, why should you stand in the way of their happiness? maybe they are "the one" for each other. can you really ditch them both when you cant help who you love? if the girl really loved you, she would have insisted that you two find a way to make it work despite the move. she didnt, so maybe the relationship wasnt what you thought it was.

look at it from their perspective. you made a choice to move away from them. you were gone. if they are such great people, is it really so hard to imagine that they may be able to develope feelings for each other? or already had? it happens all the time, the love triangle. if something were to happen to me, i cant think of anyone id rather my wife to be with than my best friend.

now if they had just gotten drunk, banged each other, and that was that, then yea id be pissed. but i would still get over it. people make mistakes, and sometimes even your best friend can have a lapse in judgement. and whos to say you wouldnt do the same thing if you were in his shoes? you can say you wouldnt, but if you loved the girl, and she you, and this was your shot at happiness....?

you have every right to be upset, youre only human. as are they. give it some time.