Annoying business terms or phrases

[trmiv]

Anyone work in a office where someone likes to use annoying business terms or phrases? I work in a small office (5 employees), and my boss will say stuff like "I want you to own that process," or "Can you touch base with him on that." It drives me up the wall. I would never event think to use stuff like "own that process." It's like he took a class in annoying business terms in college or something. Anyone else have co-workers or bosses that do that? I'd like to get some new terms and then throw them back at him the next time he tells me he wants me to "own a process."

 

[bozo1]

In my office instead of saying "can you touch base with him on that", my boss always says "ping him on that". I kind of like that term but it's kinda annoying when coming out of the mouth of a non-techie.

 

[gittyup]

How about:

"My plate is kind of full." - instead of saying he is busy.

 

[DannyLove]

hahahahha, that would really get annoying if they did it here. I would say something.

danny~!

 

[trmiv]

<< How about:

&quot;My plate is kind of full.&quot; - instead of saying he is busy. >>



That's a good one. Next time he asks me to &quot;own a process,&quot; I'll tell him, &quot;sorry, my plate is full.&quot;

 

[TomC25]

My boss says the plate phrase too

He also says

&quot;You'll need to wear two hats today&quot; - to cover a coworkers responsibilities

&quot;This will be your baby&quot; - a project that I will start and be in control of

 

[trmiv]

<<

&quot;You'll need to wear two hats today&quot; - to cover a coworkers responsibilities

>>



Ahhh!! I forgot that one! Just the other day he told me, &quot;We all need to wear a lot of hats around here.&quot;

 

[GasX]

Two things I hear at work that kill me:

&quot;Let's summarize the learnings from todays training session&quot;
(I hate people who use &quot;learning&quot; as a noun)

&quot;I'm SO busy&quot;
(cry me a river)

 

[trmiv]

I just had a meeting with my boss and he used &quot;own this process&quot; twice during the meeting. After thinking of posting this thread today, it was all I could do to stop myself from bursting out laughing. I actually had to cover my mouth to contain my grin.

 

[StageLeft]

Anything with the word 'solution' in it.

 

[BigSmooth]

I hear the term &quot;going forward&quot; at least twice a day. As in, &quot;we will bill this on a going-forward basis&quot;.

 

[Cocytus]

Get out the flame throwers and crap launchers....


I can't stand &quot;Diversity.&quot;

Also, something deep inside me dies when the boss comes over and says &quot;I need to ask you for a favor.&quot;

Translate: I need you to take care of a problem that I'm too stupid for. Once you are done, let me know immediately...so that I can send out the office email announcing my brilliant innovation.


ARRRRRGGGG.

 

[kranky]

In my experience people who are always using those types of phrases are covering up for incompetence or a lack of self-confidence. I also get to here these occasionally:

&quot;schedule-driven&quot; - like anyone would ignore the schedule
&quot;synergy&quot; - apparently, sometimes 1+1 is supposed to = 3
&quot;tie in and firm up&quot; - go talk to him and agree on what to do
&quot;resource-loaded&quot; - figure out how many people you need to get that done
&quot;three-tier&quot; - don't run it on one PC, design it so it requires a big server talking to a little server talking to the end-user's PC. Sure it takes ten times longer to develop, but we can use that cool term &quot;three-tier architecture&quot; to make it sound impressive.

and my personal, all-time favorite...
&quot;class collaterals&quot; - the set of Xeroxed slides you get at a training session

 

[Cyberian]

&quot;..... at this point in time .....&quot;
&quot;..... paradigm .....&quot;
&quot;Can we talk about this 'off-line'&quot;?
&quot;..... allocation of resources .....&quot;

 

[ApacheXMD]

you guys need to stop complaining and think outside the box


-patchy

 

[Nevo]

Using &quot;partner&quot; as a verb drives me nuts:

&quot;We can partner with them on this project...&quot;

AARRGGHH!

 

[dvda]

synergy and pro-active words that people who went to business school use to prove that they went to business school.

 

[Viper GTS]

Partner is perfectly useable as a verb:

Partner

Viper GTS

 

[thEnEuRoMancER]

LOL, you people need to look at the web-economy bull$hit generator

 

[VTHodge]

This chode in my office always used the term &quot;shoot&quot;, as in:

&quot;Shoot me an e-mail&quot;
&quot;Just shoot him a copy of that spreadsheet&quot;
&quot;Shoot off copies of that print&quot;

Not the worst term ever. It just becomes so when used exclusively.

 

[Namuna]

Starting a question with the word 'Question'

&quot;Question. What do I need to...&quot;

And I can't stand it when the guy at work just constantly say's (for no particular reason)..&quot;I ain't gonna fall for no banana in my tailpipe!&quot;
Oh wait, I'M the one that does that!

 

[gittyup]

It's always funny when your boss says &quot;we need to get on that.&quot; Ofcourse, &quot;we&quot; always means &quot;me&quot;.

 

[beer]

&quot;...as the case may be...&quot;

&quot;Mad Gates Disease&quot; (generally refering to anything Microsoft except Exchange and Win2K)

 

[pulse8]

I just hate it when people say. &quot;FYI&quot;

They don't say, &quot;For your information.&quot;

They acutally say, &quot;F-Y-I.&quot;

IT ANNOYS THE PEE OUT OF ME

 

[joemamma]

it bugs the hell out of me when people say &quot;get to work&quot;. and cob - close of business.