Anybody here have a wife that gave birth naturally? Why did you/she do it?

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: xSauronx
when i was married, the wife *wanted* an epidural. got it with the first one. with the second, she gave birth too fast to get the epi, but there was something else they gave her in her IV that was supposed to "Take the edge off" as a common precursor to an epidural.

same for my second. wife was in the hospital and giving birth in 10 minutes. twins naturally at 36 weeks apparently is a big enough deal that they had 26 docs and students come in to witness.

 

[SammyJr]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: SammyJr

Originally posted by: Mo0o
What we think and what we say are completely different. The patient has full decision making capacity in the hospital, If they dont want a treatment, they dont get the treatment. Simple as that.

In our case, if you followed the OB's explicit direction - including inducing in the morning, epidural, 4 hour birth window, episitomy, C-section over her lunch hour, and circumcision, she was perfectly wonderful.

Since we came in at 2am and didn't do any of those things, we got the cold treatment from the on-call OB and that attitude migrated to most of the staff. We were very fortunate in that one nurse who had experience at a "baby-friendly" hospital essentially took over and helped my wife through the labor. Without her, we would have been either ignored or harassed. Hard to say.

The doctor also insisted on constant fetal monitoring even though our normal OB told us we could walk around and check every 15 minutes. This made roaming the halls impossible. Labor is stimulated by movements, so who knows what this doctor was trying to accomplish by keeping us tethered to 3 feet of the bed. She said we'd be going Against Medical Advice if we opted out of the constant monitoring.

When it was finally time to push, the doc forced her into stirrups whereas my wife would have preferred a different position. My son tore her on the way out and the doctor proceeds to start stitching her up without any novocaine. The doctor claims that we didn't want pain relief, but anyone with any sense knows that was referring to the birth process, not a tear. Even the nurses looked kind of shocked when she tried that one.

So yeah, we had full decision making ability. I guess.

This is just one OB, but it doesn't take too many of these stories to scare people who want a natural birth and their wishes respected to stay out of the hospital. Our experience here made us willing to jump through the hoops in order to have a homebirth. If our hospital experience had been better, we would have done differently.

hmm that ob sounds like a douche. we have woman make laps around the L&D floor all the time if their latent phase is slow or not progressing fast enough. And if they havent ruptured, we put them in the jacuzzi for a bit. As for the fetal monitoring, a lot of women want only intermittent monitoring, even if they're just lying in bed sleeping, which is cool w/ us as long as you let us do it every once in awhlie to see that everything is good.

The jacuzzi would have been nice, but they only had one in one room. And they gave that room to a woman having a scheduled C-section. :Q

I think the fetal monitoring thing was the OB being a douche. She has that reputation. She's the perfect OB for a woman who wants the doctor to run the whole show. She also has a reputation for being a very competent surgeon and liking to use those skills, hence her 90%+ C-Section rate. And you don't get to do a C-section if labor is progressing normally.

Our regular OB has a more normal 20% C-Section rate and we were told by her office staff that she generally attends all of her births unless she is out of state. The reality was that she was simply not on call, so we got one of her partners.

And i'm really surprised by the fact that the ob didnt use lidocaine to stitch you up unless it was a small 1st degree. I can see how she might have just totally misinterpreted your wishes and just didnt ask.

The tear was between a 3rd and 4th degree. I think the OB forgot (perhaps intentionally) that my wife didn't have an epidural.

All in all, a very unpleasant experience. Part of the problem is that hospitals are so variable. People who want natural birth hear this kind of story and become down on hospitals. Of course, not all hospitals or OBs are like this.

Our homebirth with our daughter went a lot better. There was a lot less stress and we could walk around the whole neighborhood. The midwifes were great - my wife was making cookies with them and just having a nice, relaxing time. Keeping things low stress helps. She was able to have a waterbirth like she wanted.

Unfortunately, ACOG fights tooth and nail against midwife attended homebirths so they're a lot more rare than they probably should be.

 

[fulltilt39]

I don't have a wife, but this is MY story.

I have a deathly fear of hospitals. And doctors. Not so much b/c I don't believe in medicine. Moreso b/c I see too many people just blindly following whatever they're told in hospitals. I would have the same problem with religion if people didn't think for themselves and try to get additional info on something that affected their life.

I also don't like drugs.

So when I found out I was pregnant, all I knew was that I didn't want hospitals or drugs involved. As I got further into the pregnancy, as most women probably do, I fell in love with my unborn child and wanted both her and I to experience wholly every part of this wonderful gift that we'd been given, without interference. I'm not saying the choice is for everyone or that others should think the way I do - these were just MY feelings.

So I found a place called a Maternity Center. They only accepted low-risk pregnancies as patients. There were Certified Nurse Midwives who could handle normal medical situations and who guided me through my pregnancy with such care and concern that they almost felt like family by the end. I had absolutely no qualms about going through childbirth without assistant from pain medication, after learning everything I could about it. You birth your child there at the center, in a private room with a huge bed and decor that makes you feel like you're at a bed and breakfast.

There is nothing to ever prepare you for the work and sweat and tears and love and joy that come with having a child, but with all that in my mind and heart, the actual 7 hours of labor and delivery were probably the most wonderful hours of my life so far. The physical pain was far overshadowed by the sense that I was experiencing every sensation belonging to this process, and that the painful part would be nothing compared to the years of happiness it would begin.

I am so happy to this day that I made the decision I did and would I have another child, I wouldn't change a thing.
I hope that somewhat answers your question from the perspective of one loving mother.

 

[Paperdoc]

For our first child (1972) the OB had the delivery date wrong by a month and was not there to start, but we had arranged for father in delivery room. The doc on call said no way he'd do that, and proposed (we accepted) an epidural to slow the labor process until our OB could get there. When the OB did his first examination he realized this was a breach-presentation birth (bum first) already in progress and unwise to interfere. So he advised my wife relax and try not to push until the epi wore off, because she would need all her strength to complete the natural delivery process. She did, so I guess that first birth was "without" a major pain control drug.

For second (1977) and third (1985) children my wife and I decided on home births to avoid the hospital settings and procedures. You NEVER do this alone - we got professional midwifes who worked with us throughout the pregnancy. My wife and I also took Lamaze training - you can and should LEARN pain management techniques and specific procedures for the mother to do to ease the birth process, but it sure as hell won't eliminate the pain! One vital function of prenatal care (midwives or not) is knowing all of the warning signs of possible birth trouble. If that is indicated, you really have to assess whether those signs are so significant that you should go to a hospital where you are only minutes away from doctor-level assistance. But by far the majority of births do NOT need those facilities. And in a few cases the need for extra professional help is not apparent until quite late - those are the cases where a home birth can become a major problem. Our assessment of the relative risks of that last scenario, balanced against the risks of going to a hospital - yes, there are risks there, too, but we pretend there are not! - led us to the home birth choice.

Anyway, with a home birth there is no good way to use anesthetics for pain management, so training and practice are the tools you use to prepare. That, and amazing courage and determination by the mother!

Years later our middle child (our first home birth) had her first delivered in a birthing center attached to a hospital; her midwife was the same one who helped to deliver her! Her second child was a home birth. No pain meds either birth there.

We never considered birthing in water - to us, that is not the "natural" birth process.

Oh by the way, a perspective gained from our midwife who trained in Germany. Over there, the birth helpers do not "deliver" the baby - the mother does. To them midwives "catch" the baby. Seems more realistic, and discloses a difference in mindset.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i don't get the claim of natural.

novocaine free dental care is also "natural"

Most people obviously have no idea what a natural birth is. People are saying they had a natural birth because they didn't get any pain meds. That's not a natural birth. A natural birth is no outside interference from anyone or anything which to me is stupid. If something happens then you're f'd. Saying that people have been having babies for thousands of years just fine is stupid to say. Mothers and babies died in childbirth all the time. I'd make sure the girl that is with me is having a baby in a hospital with doctors assisting.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: zerocool84

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i don't get the claim of natural.

novocaine free dental care is also "natural"

Most people obviously have no idea what a natural birth is. People are saying they had a natural birth because they didn't get any pain meds. That's not a natural birth. A natural birth is no outside interference from anyone or anything which to me is stupid. If something happens then you're f'd. Saying that people have been having babies for thousands of years just fine is stupid to say. Mothers and babies died in childbirth all the time. I'd make sure the girl that is with me is having a baby in a hospital with doctors assisting.

Modern Medicine, saving moms and babies since 1847!

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

My wife gave birth to both our kids naturally. We were planning on it mostly because both our parents did....which was not much of a reason, but, in the end it didn't matter because she was only in labor for about an hour with each of them.

I can tell you this, though. The pervasive hard-nose self-righteousness of doctors does VERY little to persuade patients that natural isn't the way to go. Doctors are extremely close-minded...which is a good thing for most of what they do, but it carries over into subjective things like natural child-birth. It wouldn't take long to compile a very long list of things that doctors SWORE by ten years ago that they now believe to be archaic. So maybe a little less condescending attitude when somebody proposes an idea that you probably just haven't been told yet is the preferred method.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
My wife gave birth to both our kids naturally. We were planning on it mostly because both our parents did....which was not much of a reason, but, in the end it didn't matter because she was only in labor for about an hour with each of them.

I can tell you this, though. The pervasive hard-nose self-righteousness of doctors does VERY little to persuade patients that natural isn't the way to go. Doctors are extremely close-minded...which is a good thing for most of what they do, but it carries over into subjective things like natural child-birth. It wouldn't take long to compile a very long list of things that doctors SWORE by ten years ago that they now believe to be archaic. So maybe a little less condescending attitude when somebody proposes an idea that you probably just haven't been told yet is the preferred method.

You know what does a good job of persuading people to go to a hospital for childbirth? A better chance of living to be a parent.

 

[eits]

my mom gave birth to my brother and me naturally. didn't even take anything whenever she had a headache while pregnant. she did it because she wanted to make sure there was no risk whatsoever of anything potentially harming our development. she didn't want any chance of an epidural affecting us during birth. she figured we were worth extra pain for one day if it meant not risking a decrease in our iq or being drugged up as soon as we entered the world. plus, she didn't want it affecting her milk for our first outdoor meal.

my mom cried blood during my brother's delivery.

she's pretty hardcore.

 

[quackerww]

Originally posted by: Nik
Friend of mine's wife is a house wife. She's done quite a few at-home births using a plastic kiddie pool and no anesthetic.

Aquaman was born underwater... Connection? I think so.

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: princess ida
If you labor and deliver in a hospital, flat on your back, with IV's and monitors - you're immobile. And heck yes, you're going to need painkillers.

People don't realize that this is the most uncomfortable unnatural position for birth, and causes much of the pain/discomfort. It's used because it's easier for the doctor, not the mother.

It would be nice if people put as much thought into birth as they do into buying a car or TV.

Good friend of mine who is a nurse delivered standing up leaning over, she said that's the most comfortable position but you can't do it if you have an epidural.

 

[SammyJr]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
My wife gave birth to both our kids naturally. We were planning on it mostly because both our parents did....which was not much of a reason, but, in the end it didn't matter because she was only in labor for about an hour with each of them.

I can tell you this, though. The pervasive hard-nose self-righteousness of doctors does VERY little to persuade patients that natural isn't the way to go. Doctors are extremely close-minded...which is a good thing for most of what they do, but it carries over into subjective things like natural child-birth. It wouldn't take long to compile a very long list of things that doctors SWORE by ten years ago that they now believe to be archaic. So maybe a little less condescending attitude when somebody proposes an idea that you probably just haven't been told yet is the preferred method.

You know what does a good job of persuading people to go to a hospital for childbirth? A better chance of living to be a parent.

For low risk pregnancies, this isn't really an issue.

 

[SammyJr]

Originally posted by: zerocool84

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i don't get the claim of natural.

novocaine free dental care is also "natural"

Most people obviously have no idea what a natural birth is. People are saying they had a natural birth because they didn't get any pain meds. That's not a natural birth. A natural birth is no outside interference from anyone or anything which to me is stupid. If something happens then you're f'd. Saying that people have been having babies for thousands of years just fine is stupid to say. Mothers and babies died in childbirth all the time. I'd make sure the girl that is with me is having a baby in a hospital with doctors assisting.

Most people who have natural childbirth aren't idiots. They have noninvasive fetal monitoring so if there is a problem, they can get additional treatment.

Its not a religion. Its a preference.

 

[lokiju]

My wife set out to do no drugs, I encouraged her to not do so at the cost of make the whole experience miserable.

She held out with nothing for a good 15, with about 6 of those hours being given that stuff that makes the contractions come on hard and strong but since they had to keep ramping up that stuff because they were getting worried that it was going to be to long after her water broke and didn't want to do a C section unless it was a last resort, she just couldn't take the level of pain any longer. She had a epidural and was shaking uncontrollably like she was freezing cold but she said she wasn't and while she could feel pressure, she couldn't feel pain.

I told her next time just get it from the get go.

 

[nanette1985]

Originally posted by: zerocool84

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i don't get the claim of natural.

novocaine free dental care is also "natural"

Most people obviously have no idea what a natural birth is. People are saying they had a natural birth because they didn't get any pain meds. That's not a natural birth. A natural birth is no outside interference from anyone or anything which to me is stupid. If something happens then you're f'd. Saying that people have been having babies for thousands of years just fine is stupid to say. Mothers and babies died in childbirth all the time. I'd make sure the girl that is with me is having a baby in a hospital with doctors assisting.

In childbirth, as in other fields, common words (such as natural) take on a specific meaning. The childbirth you're referring to is called unassisted.

Natural childbirth generally means childbirth education, allowing labor to begin on its own (no pitocin), support during labor, freedom of movement, no routine interventions, delivering in a comfortable position, and allowing the baby to generally stay with the mother afterwards. That's presuming that all is going well - it also includes using all available assistance when things stop proceeding normally.

I take it you've never had a baby. Do you actually know what happens when the MD delivers the baby?