Are parents obligated to care for mentally challenged children past the age of 18?

[Crusty]

Originally posted by: Ender

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: Ender
My vanity would prevent me from siring a mentally challenged child. I'd like my child to achieve goals in life and be proud of him or her. Having a child that merely passes through life with nothing accomplished upsets me profoundly.

Goals are relative, if my child had a severe mental handicap I would be extremely proud if they graduated high school and attended College.

Again, my very vanity prevents me from sharing in your idea that such a thing demands respect. I compare accomplishments relative to my peers (i.e. society as a whole). I would like others to respect my child just as much as I would. People may respect a mentally handicapped child for graduating high school, but it's only because they're sympathetic to the child's mental handicap.

Whether or not they are sympathetic doesn't change the fact that they still respect the person. When you respect someone, it is fairly obvious to them how you feel. When you are sympathetic to someone that person may or not realize that, and given the mental state of said person I highly doubt they realize the only reason someone respects them is because they feel sorry for them.

 

[etalns]

Originally posted by: Ender

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: Ender
My vanity would prevent me from siring a mentally challenged child. I'd like my child to achieve goals in life and be proud of him or her. Having a child that merely passes through life with nothing accomplished upsets me profoundly.

Goals are relative, if my child had a severe mental handicap I would be extremely proud if they graduated high school and attended College.

Again, my very vanity prevents me from sharing in your idea that such a thing demands respect. I compare accomplishments relative to my peers (i.e. society as a whole). I would like others to respect my child just as much as I would. People may respect a mentally handicapped child for graduating high school, but it's only because they're sympathetic to the child's mental handicap.

I'm surprised...usually I'd think a person like this is a prick, but becuase he's been so mature in the way he's presented his argument, I actually agree with him. If I had a child who was mentally handicapped I would care for him, but I doubt I'd be thrilled by the things the child would accomplish in his or her lifetime...of course, I would never imply this to the child in the least.

 

[Ender]

Nonetheless, it's a veiled form of respect, and not the same respect you'd give someone who climbed Mount Everest or competed in the Olympics. Perhaps I'm alone in this, but that's how I feel.

 

[Crusty]

Originally posted by: Ender
Nonetheless, it's a veiled form of respect, and not the same respect you'd give someone who climbed Mount Everest or competed in the Olympics. Perhaps I'm alone in this, but that's how I feel.

Hehe, I understand your view, but that doesn't mean I can't disagree with you!

 

[Ender]

Alas, the freedom of opinion.

 

[faenix]

Originally posted by: ironcrotch

Originally posted by: jtusa4
Parents trying to give you the boot?

LOLOLOL

 

[Ornery]

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: gopunk

Yeah, but even if I knew that my child would be mentally challenged it would not change how much I loved them. Creating life is one of the greatest gifts man can give to himself.

how mentally challenged? slight ADD? yea, okay. what if the kid is severely autistic? he doesn't acknowledge or reciprocate your love at all, frequently engages in self-destructive behavior, and attacks you with blunt objects. there is no hope of him ever changing. yea, i'm sure there are some people out there that are somehow able to keep it together for 30 years of this, but such patience is few and far between. i'm sorry, but i can't pass judgement on people that choose not to go through that.

I've been around people that are severely autistic, and while I understand your points, I still think that no matter how a person is if you brought them into the world you should take care of them like they are yourself.

Does the parent have the option of having the kid put down? Since society prevents them from doing this, then society can damn well take over. That's EXACTLY what we pay welfare taxes for.

 

[tec699]

Originally posted by: Ornery

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: gopunk

Yeah, but even if I knew that my child would be mentally challenged it would not change how much I loved them. Creating life is one of the greatest gifts man can give to himself.

how mentally challenged? slight ADD? yea, okay. what if the kid is severely autistic? he doesn't acknowledge or reciprocate your love at all, frequently engages in self-destructive behavior, and attacks you with blunt objects. there is no hope of him ever changing. yea, i'm sure there are some people out there that are somehow able to keep it together for 30 years of this, but such patience is few and far between. i'm sorry, but i can't pass judgement on people that choose not to go through that.

I've been around people that are severely autistic, and while I understand your points, I still think that no matter how a person is if you brought them into the world you should take care of them like they are yourself.

Does the parent have the option of having the kid put down? Since society prevents them from doing this, then society can damn well take over. That's EXACTLY what we pay welfare taxes for.

That's an ignorant statement. So if your child was involved in a car accident and was crippled I guess we should have the right to put a bullet in his head? And what about old people? Half of those people can't move and god damn it they are taking up my air! I think we should end their lives as well.

 

[Ornery]

Look nitwit, this is the answer to the question of the OP. Because it isn't legal, the people making it illegal should be required to take up the slack. This is EXACTLY what happens when parents are found to be unfit. NOTHING to do with the moral obligation, which is TOTALLY subjective.

Edit: Gotta go to work. Back in 9 hours...

 

[badmouse]

Depends on the state. Here in NJ, the answer is no.

I'm recently divorced, and this came up in the negotiations.

 

[Nitemare]

Just drop them off at the Y with 5 bucks

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: MCrusty

Originally posted by: BlamoHammer
Perhaps not legally but I would think out of common decency they would make sure that a person, who cannot take care of themselves, is taken care of.

I agree completely. My mom has a doctorate degree in Special Education and she is currently a principal at local High School. The stories that she tells me about some of the kids that she has to deal with with are really upsetting. I would say 90% of them come from dysfunctional familes where the parents were torn apart because of the child, and the child is left to fend for himself.

It's amazing how something extremely simple makes a mentally challenged child happy, it really makes you take a step back from life and realize how lucky those of use without such handicapps are. If one of my children were to be mentally challenged I would make sure that no matter what they recieved the best treatment and care that anybody could, but I would also make sure not to treat them like they are different from everyone else. They are human too and they have feelings just like everyone else. Just because they are different doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same quality of life that everyone else does.

that's true, but i can also understand the position of their families... it's really tough to care for a child that never grows up and in some cases doesn't even reciprocate your love. it's easy to say that yea, you should always take care of these people, but it's easier said than done. people are people, not saints, they have their own lives and happiness to think about.

While I understand your points, I disagree. You made the decision to bring this child into the world, no matter what you should care for this person like they are yourself.

well you can say that nowadays sometimes with ultrasound tests and whatnot, but often times in the past, and even in the present, it is impossible for parents to know that a child will turn out like that.

Yeah, but even if I knew that my child would be mentally challenged it would not change how much I loved them. Creating life is one of the greatest gifts man can give to himself.

Tell me how "love" helps a 73 yr old fragile elderly woman cope with a 40 yr 250 pound autistic/retarded adult child who's become aggresive and combative with zero supports? Caes like this are more the norm
than you'd like to believe, we spout about how wonderful "special" people are and about the sancity of human life but once the delivery is over we really don't care and we show it by the funding we give agencies like DMR and DMH.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Ender
My vanity would prevent me from siring a mentally challenged child. I'd like my child to achieve goals in life and be proud of him or her. Having a child that merely passes through life with nothing accomplished upsets me profoundly.

Then never,ever take the risk of reproducing.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Just drop them off at the Y with 5 bucks

Here in MA, parents with retarded adult children who've become unmanagable at home are often forced to go to their local DMR office and basically abandon their offspring,it's the only way to get them placed in group homes.

I think it's horrible, people who kept their disabled kids at home and reared them instead of placing them as infants basically made a good faith deal with the state,they shouldered all the burdens and costs confident in the knowledge that when the day came that the parent(s) became too old or sick to manage the adult child at home that the state would take over.Thousands of these people are on waiting lists for group homes for decades.

 

[StormRider]

To me they are morally obligated just as we are morally obligated to care for our parents when they are older. It just seems weird to me that some people think that as soon as you are 18 years old, you don't need to have anything to do with your parents or children anymore and let the rest of society handle things.

 

[Kadarin]

I agree with Geekbabe; it's best if society as a whole has mechanisms in place for dealing with this.

 

[StormRider]

Originally posted by: StormRider
To me they are morally obligated just as we are morally obligated to care for our parents when they are older. It just seems weird to me that some people think that as soon as you are 18 years old, you don't need to have anything to do with your parents or children anymore and let the rest of society handle things.

Btw, I'm talking about kids like "Corky". I'm not talking about abusive violent mentally disturbed kids.