Asians and buddhists..Contradiction between the typical ideals?

[Syringer]

My parents, and most Vietnamese and a good amount of asians out there tend to identify themselves as Buddhists..and the basic underlying principle of being a buddhist is that want and greed create suffering, so basically if you rid yourself of such want and greed you will live a much more fulfilling life. Parents, such as mine, would bring me to the temple every week as a kid to practice this religion and its beliefs were instilled upon me.

That said however, I would say it's safe to say that most asian parents, including mine, push their kids into jobs and careers that will ultimately make them the most money, i.e. engineers, doctors, business type people..rather than happiness/satisfaction. In fact satisfaction of a job often is ranked well below what salary is. Sure there are lots of engineers, doctors, etc., that really do enjoy what they do, but there are plenty that are simply forced into these paths against their will simply because they have the best chance of striking riches.

Personally my parents constantly remind me that I need to get the best grades all the time so that I can get the best jobs upon graduating, which would of course lead to the "best" money..but does this just not contradict their own religious beliefs?

My parents have never been rich, having lived in Vietnam up until their mid 30's..having moved here with absolutely nothing and have slowly moved their way up toward middle class status since I was born, and it's all just a matter of them not wanting me to end up with nothing as they once did in their lives..which is mainly the reason they chose to restart their lives to move into a foreign land where they knew no one and barely spoke the language..so that I could have the opportunity that I do today.

However it doesn't require me to necessarily be able to be an MBA graduate..but it still seems that I would be letting down their all sacrifices if I just chose to live a simple basic life..

 

[PanzerIV]

I'm not Asian but I see your point.

 

[gotsmack]

not really, if you have stuff already, you won't be tempted with want and greed because you'll already have.

 

[shopbruin]

are they actual buddhists that go to temple, or do they more reflect on confucian values?

my parents are the same... its that entire asian thing... make money or else. its hard when your parents did so well already and you're so thoroughly americanized... i wouldn't care if money fell out of the sky for me if i hated my job.

i told my dad i was thinking of a masters in education - he was very much the whole "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY! GO TO LAW SCHOOL ALREADY!" apparently 150k in law school debt is perfectly acceptable. because all lawyers make a lot of money. because i'm automatically the best student there and will get all the job offers.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

[Tiqua]

I don't think it is so much that they want you to have the "best" money. They see an easier life for you when you do have money to buy what you need. One of my father's favorite sayings, "Money isn't everything, but it is nice to have when you need it." When you are wealthy, you have more choices to pick up hobbies, take trips, experience life that they haven't had the opportunity to have. They also don't want you to suffer through some of the hardships that they have been through.

Tiqua

 

[DaveCSparty]

I really don't think that many Asians are Buddhists...even though you always see the Shaolin monks fighting on TV haha

 

[DougK62]

It's not surprising to find religious people that act differently then their supposed religion dictates they should. Very common.

 

[HamSupLo]

I'm asian, but I think asian values are centered upon money and having face. I think these values contradict the essential teachings of buddism, yet many Asian people have a strong connection to it. I feel they are attaching themselves to buddhism for the wrong reasons where they are only interested in saving themselves from purgatory(?) with the hope of reincarnating into something better in the afterlife.

 

[neovan]

i'm half vietnamese/chinese and my parents are buddhists. my dad actually helps out at the temple. he's always told me to be happy and not to be too greedy with money. he told me that it doesn't matter if i make $10/hour or $100/hour just as long as i'm happy doing what i do. of course, it would be great if i made a lot of money but don't make it a priority. i guess my parents are traditional buddhists.

 

[Jzero]

My limited experience with Buddhism, specifically Thai Buddhism (Theravada) which seems to be more liberal than the more widespread Mahayana branch.

But the Theravadas (at least the ones I was talking to at Wat Monkultepmunee on Monday) seem to believe that becoming a Buddha is part of a grand process that can span many lifetimes. In this particular lifetime you may not be ready to attempt to make a wholehearted effort to give it all up and take a shot at true enlightenment, so while you should attempt to live by the teachings as much as possible, there isn't any fundamental reason why you should not seek out worldly success, especially if you still seek the middle path of your success and don't live it to the extreme.

--Disclaimer - Written by a white Christian boy who pops into the temple every once in awhile.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

cliff notes?

 

[azazyel]

Originally posted by: Jzero
My limited experience with Buddhism, specifically Thai Buddhism (Theravada) which seems to be more liberal than the more widespread Mahayana branch.

But the Theravadas (at least the ones I was talking to at Wat Monkultepmunee on Monday) seem to believe that becoming a Buddha is part of a grand process that can span many lifetimes. In this particular lifetime you may not be ready to attempt to make a wholehearted effort to give it all up and take a shot at true enlightenment, so while you should attempt to live by the teachings as much as possible, there isn't any fundamental reason why you should not seek out worldly success, especially if you still seek the middle path of your success and don't live it to the extreme.

--Disclaimer - Written by a white Christian boy who pops into the temple every once in awhile.

I don't think they actually try to become a Buddha just to reach Nibbana. But yes it is a very long process and it's called a sanga not temple.

 

[aethandor13]

im not asian but my parent pushed me to try to do well in everything i did. to me its you parent just want you to have an easier life than they did. i wouldnt just say its asian parent but all parent want this for there kids

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: azazyel
I don't think they actually try to become a Buddha just to reach Nibbana. But yes it is a very long process and it's called a sanga not temple.

It might have been a language confusion, but she was talking about becoming a Bodhisattva as the step prior to becoming a Buddha, where Buddha refers to someone who has achieved true enlightenment.

The folks at Monkultepmunee call it the temple....maybe not technically correct, but probably the best way to describe it to westerners?

 

[azazyel]

Originally posted by: Jzero

Originally posted by: azazyel
I don't think they actually try to become a Buddha just to reach Nibbana. But yes it is a very long process and it's called a sanga not temple.

It might have been a language confusion, but she was talking about becoming a Bodhisattva as the step prior to becoming a Buddha, where Buddha refers to someone who has achieved true enlightenment.

The folks at Monkultepmunee call it the temple....maybe not technically correct, but probably the best way to describe it to westerners?

Probably, I took a class in college on Theravadan Buddhism and I only really remember a few things. I actually have been reading a few of my essays that I saved on my computer:> Next time you go ask them about Khwan, Phi and Vinnana the three parts of a person. Interesting stuff there.

 

[thirdlegstump]

Well I'm Japanese and had Buddhist parents but they taught me slightly differently:

"Do whatever the hell you want but if you're going to do it, do it obnoxiously and over the top."

 

[RegularK]

Originally posted by: freesia39
are they actual buddhists that go to temple, or do they more reflect on confucian values?

my parents are the same... its that entire asian thing... make money or else. its hard when your parents did so well already and you're so thoroughly americanized... i wouldn't care if money fell out of the sky for me if i hated my job.

i told my dad i was thinking of a masters in education - he was very much the whole "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY! GO TO LAW SCHOOL ALREADY!" apparently 150k in law school debt is perfectly acceptable. because all lawyers make a lot of money. because i'm automatically the best student there and will get all the job offers.

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

I considered education a while back too...and my dad kept giving all the negatives about how students don't listen yadda yadda yadda...and bringing up Columbine and school shootings hah...it does make me a bit upset that children can't stand up to their parents and just do what makes them happy, regardless of what their parents want...with that said, I think my parents have realized that I have a good head on my shoulders and it's better to do what I enjoy doing than something i'm going to hate doing for the next 40 years of my life...even if they are a bit hesitant (mainly my dad)...

Kinda got a bit sidetracked with that rant...but I do see the conflict between Asian society and Buddhism; however, I think it's mainly concerning an excess of riches...I think Asian parents..and any parent for that matter just want their kids to be happy and successful..as long as you don't let the greed get out of hand or undermine your integrity to get riches or become successful..it's ok... *shrugs* i don't know..

Cheers,
KiM

 

[LongCoolMother]

i dont think it contradicts at all. asian parents push their children in academics because they feel that is what is key to success/happiness. of course they are going to push you- it might not sound good, but often times if there is no one pressuring you slightly to excel, you will stop progressing altogether.

might seem like parents are trying to give you hell and it might seem contradicting to their beliefs. but to them, they are doing you a favor, because all they want is to see you happy.

 

[Imdmn04]

That's because kids don't know what's good for them at a young age, they might think what they are doing right now is good, and later on in life and will realize "gee, shoulda listened to my parents, so i wouldn't have to flip burgers for the last 20 years."

True that money can't buy happiness, but you will realize it is more important when you grow older and older, you gotta pay for the mortgage of the house, utilities, cable, internet, u gotta pay for your kid's food, clothing and day camp. Then you realize sh!t, money can't buy happiness, but it pretty much sucks balls too when you dont have any either.

There will always be tradeoffs between happiness and money, fvck, if i could, i relax, chill and go fishing all day long if i could, since my hapiness comes from those things.
But can I do that every day whenever i feel like it? Hell no, thats just the way it works, you gotta have discipline, you might not like it, but you gotta do it because you have a family to provide when you grow older, and true happiness comes from knowing your family can count on you to bring home the check to feed everybody's mouth.

 

[ucdnam]

My family is buddhist also, but I'm getting my teaching credential and masters in education. They actually let me do whatever I want, as long as I'm happy... maybe you should "educate" your parents? A lot of them do not understand the American culture and trascribe what they see in America into their Asian views, which sometimes does not work.

You can think of how they followed every law and rule and filled out every line on every piece of paperwork, because that's how it is in the homeland, but you know otherwise here...

 

[QueHuong]

People will say they will be happy if they follow their dreams, even if they live under a bridge. That's just not true. My uncle loves music and he was going to study it in college, but his friend made him realize he just won't have a real future in it. So he studied engineering and now commands a high salary as an Oracle Database Admin, and he doesn't regret it because he has a family and he can support them.

In addition, having some money will bring some happiness. Having freedom and choices will contribute to happiness. And when you're not financially free, how could you be happy?

 

[dighn]

asian "casual" buddhists just worship the various buddhas instead of following the philosophies. they aren' treally true buddhists

 

[DigDug]

it's called a sanga not temple.

Wrong. Sanga refers to the body of monks, not the physical location.