Originally posted by: kranky
One frigid Friday night in December I was working late in the office trying to get all the paperwork caught up before the weekend. It was snowing like mad, with more snow in the forecast and I just wanted to get done and get home. About 7 PM my phone rang and it was the boss, asking me to come to his office.
Now I had been working there about a year, and in all that time I had NEVER been invited to his office. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, which was typically the reason for such an invite, so I was kind of puzzled.
When I walked in, he was reclining on the leather couch.
"Well, kranky, how are things going?"
"Um, fine."
"Working late?"
"Finishing up the orders."
"I'm going to an used equipment auction this weekend in New York City. Thought you might like to come along."
I cannot fathom why in the world he would ask me to hang with him for the weekend. And I'm thinking that spending 48 hours with this guy would be a fate worse than death, and I ain't gonna do it.
"Oh, I can't. I have some plans for tonight and tomorrow."
"You could learn a lot about the business. Good opportunity."
"Gee, sorry, but I have other plans and it's too late to change them now."
"I'd let you drive my Cadillac. And I will pay for your expenses."
And then I understood. He didn't want to drive in that weather, but was bound and determined to get to that auction so he could buy a bunch of junk cheap. So... why not see who is still at work at 7 PM on a Friday, and find a lackey to chauffeur you 800 miles to NY and back in a blizzard? Oh, and saying he'd pay my expenses was a backhanded way of saying I wouldn't be on the clock, too. But I truly believe he thought that just dangling the carrot of getting to drive a Cadillac would make me swoon and jump at the offer.
Not a chance. He didn't fool around at work. His wife and two sons all worked there.Originally posted by: Argo
He could also be hitting on you
Originally posted by: Looney
Originally posted by: kranky
I once worked for a guy who, I am convinced, was insane. I only worked there two years but I could fill a book with the stories.
Just one...
My company (let's call it NutHouseInc) was located on a long, dead-end road in one of those industrial parks. It was the next-to-last building on the road. The owner of my company owned the land on both sides of the road. One day he got a brainstorm and decided that he was going to charge the company located at the end of the road (let's call them NormalPeople) a toll for driving past his building. So he wrote them a letter saying that beginning next month, they would have to pay him for the use of the road.
The folks at NormalPeople no doubt had a good laugh and threw the letter away. He wrote them again a week later reiterating his demand for money in exchange for them using the road in front of his building. Not surprisingly, again there was no response.
Well, the first of the month came and he ordered one of his workers to pull a bulldozer across the road so no one could get to NormalPeople's building. The first person arriving for work at NormalPeople asked to have the bulldozer moved. Our leader told him that he was not moving the bulldozer because NormalPeople failed to pay the toll.
The guy from NormalPeople called the cops. The cops asked our leader to explain the bulldozer. He told the cops that since he owned the land on both sides of the road, then obviously the road belonged to him as well, and NormalPeople was notified of the need to pay for using the road. And since they didn't pay, he wasn't going to let them use it any more.
I think the cops wondered if it was some Candid Camera type show because it was such a bizarre situation. They didn't get into the legal aspects of his "theory" but they told him to move the bulldozer at once, keep it off the road, and if they had to come back he was going to jail.
He moved it but still felt that NormalPeople was getting away with something for not having to pay.
You might wonder why he never pondered why none of the companies on the road AHEAD of him ever charged HIM a toll, and the answer is that, in his mind, they weren't as smart as he was.
LOL that's fantastic!
Originally posted by: Argo
Originally posted by: kranky
One frigid Friday night in December I was working late in the office trying to get all the paperwork caught up before the weekend. It was snowing like mad, with more snow in the forecast and I just wanted to get done and get home. About 7 PM my phone rang and it was the boss, asking me to come to his office.
Now I had been working there about a year, and in all that time I had NEVER been invited to his office. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, which was typically the reason for such an invite, so I was kind of puzzled.
When I walked in, he was reclining on the leather couch.
"Well, kranky, how are things going?"
"Um, fine."
"Working late?"
"Finishing up the orders."
"I'm going to an used equipment auction this weekend in New York City. Thought you might like to come along."
I cannot fathom why in the world he would ask me to hang with him for the weekend. And I'm thinking that spending 48 hours with this guy would be a fate worse than death, and I ain't gonna do it.
"Oh, I can't. I have some plans for tonight and tomorrow."
"You could learn a lot about the business. Good opportunity."
"Gee, sorry, but I have other plans and it's too late to change them now."
"I'd let you drive my Cadillac. And I will pay for your expenses."
And then I understood. He didn't want to drive in that weather, but was bound and determined to get to that auction so he could buy a bunch of junk cheap. So... why not see who is still at work at 7 PM on a Friday, and find a lackey to chauffeur you 800 miles to NY and back in a blizzard? Oh, and saying he'd pay my expenses was a backhanded way of saying I wouldn't be on the clock, too. But I truly believe he thought that just dangling the carrot of getting to drive a Cadillac would make me swoon and jump at the offer.
He could also be hitting on you
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: Looney
Originally posted by: kranky
I once worked for a guy who, I am convinced, was insane. I only worked there two years but I could fill a book with the stories.
Just one...
My company (let's call it NutHouseInc) was located on a long, dead-end road in one of those industrial parks. It was the next-to-last building on the road. The owner of my company owned the land on both sides of the road. One day he got a brainstorm and decided that he was going to charge the company located at the end of the road (let's call them NormalPeople) a toll for driving past his building. So he wrote them a letter saying that beginning next month, they would have to pay him for the use of the road.
The folks at NormalPeople no doubt had a good laugh and threw the letter away. He wrote them again a week later reiterating his demand for money in exchange for them using the road in front of his building. Not surprisingly, again there was no response.
Well, the first of the month came and he ordered one of his workers to pull a bulldozer across the road so no one could get to NormalPeople's building. The first person arriving for work at NormalPeople asked to have the bulldozer moved. Our leader told him that he was not moving the bulldozer because NormalPeople failed to pay the toll.
The guy from NormalPeople called the cops. The cops asked our leader to explain the bulldozer. He told the cops that since he owned the land on both sides of the road, then obviously the road belonged to him as well, and NormalPeople was notified of the need to pay for using the road. And since they didn't pay, he wasn't going to let them use it any more.
I think the cops wondered if it was some Candid Camera type show because it was such a bizarre situation. They didn't get into the legal aspects of his "theory" but they told him to move the bulldozer at once, keep it off the road, and if they had to come back he was going to jail.
He moved it but still felt that NormalPeople was getting away with something for not having to pay.
You might wonder why he never pondered why none of the companies on the road AHEAD of him ever charged HIM a toll, and the answer is that, in his mind, they weren't as smart as he was.
LOL that's fantastic!
OK, my boss is crazy...but not THAT crazy. Wow.
Oh, BTW- the road is owned by the city or county. An individual can not own a section of street.
Originally posted by: Landroval
My Persian boss when I was 14 (pretending to be 18) made me wear an xs t-shirt that did not fit. He also made us wear hair nets, even though he was the only one shedding in the ice cream. He ALSO masturbated behind a one-way mirror on the door while we were working. We found out when another girl was running to the bathroom and pushed it open suddenly. Three of us quit right then.
Originally posted by: kranky
Not a chance. He didn't fool around at work. His wife and two sons all worked there.Originally posted by: Argo
He could also be hitting on you
One more...
A big job was running behind and he needed people to work over Memorial Day weekend to get caught up. A lot of people were traveling out of town and weren't able to work, which irritated him to NO end because the rules said overtime can be made mandatory. I guess enough people just told him they couldn't work and that was it.
So he arranged with the Boy Scouts to come in on Saturday for a "plant tour". The Scout leaders jumped on the chance because it was a big company with lots of interesting machinery to watch. The plan was for the Boy Scouts to tour the place from 9 AM to noon.
When the Scouts arrived, he took them around and let them operate the wrapping and packing machines. This was quite exciting to the Scouts since kids that age rarely get to control giant machines that make a lot of noise. In fact, they liked it so much he offered to let them stay as long as they wanted. He offered to bring in lunch from a nearby fastfood joint; dinner too, if they wanted.
No regard to child safety, labor laws, etc.
You can guess the real reason he "let" them come in. That work had to get done!
BWHAHAHA That man is a sick genius. Someone give him a raise.Originally posted by: kranky
Not a chance. He didn't fool around at work. His wife and two sons all worked there.Originally posted by: Argo
He could also be hitting on you
One more...
A big job was running behind and he needed people to work over Memorial Day weekend to get caught up. A lot of people were traveling out of town and weren't able to work, which irritated him to NO end because the rules said overtime can be made mandatory. I guess enough people just told him they couldn't work and that was it.
So he arranged with the Boy Scouts to come in on Saturday for a "plant tour". The Scout leaders jumped on the chance because it was a big company with lots of interesting machinery to watch. The plan was for the Boy Scouts to tour the place from 9 AM to noon.
When the Scouts arrived, he took them around and let them operate the wrapping and packing machines. This was quite exciting to the Scouts since kids that age rarely get to control giant machines that make a lot of noise. In fact, they liked it so much he offered to let them stay as long as they wanted. He offered to bring in lunch from a nearby fastfood joint; dinner too, if they wanted.
No regard to child safety, labor laws, etc.
You can guess the real reason he "let" them come in. That work had to get done!
Originally posted by: Landroval
My Persian boss when I was 14 (pretending to be 18) made me wear an xs t-shirt that did not fit. He also made us wear hair nets, even though he was the only one shedding in the ice cream. He ALSO masturbated behind a one-way mirror on the door while we were working. We found out when another girl was running to the bathroom and pushed it open suddenly. Three of us quit right then.
Originally posted by: venk
Originally posted by: kranky
Not a chance. He didn't fool around at work. His wife and two sons all worked there.Originally posted by: Argo
He could also be hitting on you
One more...
A big job was running behind and he needed people to work over Memorial Day weekend to get caught up. A lot of people were traveling out of town and weren't able to work, which irritated him to NO end because the rules said overtime can be made mandatory. I guess enough people just told him they couldn't work and that was it.
So he arranged with the Boy Scouts to come in on Saturday for a "plant tour". The Scout leaders jumped on the chance because it was a big company with lots of interesting machinery to watch. The plan was for the Boy Scouts to tour the place from 9 AM to noon.
When the Scouts arrived, he took them around and let them operate the wrapping and packing machines. This was quite exciting to the Scouts since kids that age rarely get to control giant machines that make a lot of noise. In fact, they liked it so much he offered to let them stay as long as they wanted. He offered to bring in lunch from a nearby fastfood joint; dinner too, if they wanted.
No regard to child safety, labor laws, etc.
You can guess the real reason he "let" them come in. That work had to get done!
friggin' ingenious!
Originally posted by: grr8scott
I used to work for a guy who said "Expect your employees to steal from you" and then would find that he took computers, and other goodies home with him.
Originally posted by: Argo
Originally posted by: kranky
One frigid Friday night in December I was working late in the office trying to get all the paperwork caught up before the weekend. It was snowing like mad, with more snow in the forecast and I just wanted to get done and get home. About 7 PM my phone rang and it was the boss, asking me to come to his office.
Now I had been working there about a year, and in all that time I had NEVER been invited to his office. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, which was typically the reason for such an invite, so I was kind of puzzled.
When I walked in, he was reclining on the leather couch.
"Well, kranky, how are things going?"
"Um, fine."
"Working late?"
"Finishing up the orders."
"I'm going to an used equipment auction this weekend in New York City. Thought you might like to come along."
I cannot fathom why in the world he would ask me to hang with him for the weekend. And I'm thinking that spending 48 hours with this guy would be a fate worse than death, and I ain't gonna do it.
"Oh, I can't. I have some plans for tonight and tomorrow."
"You could learn a lot about the business. Good opportunity."
"Gee, sorry, but I have other plans and it's too late to change them now."
"I'd let you drive my Cadillac. And I will pay for your expenses."
And then I understood. He didn't want to drive in that weather, but was bound and determined to get to that auction so he could buy a bunch of junk cheap. So... why not see who is still at work at 7 PM on a Friday, and find a lackey to chauffeur you 800 miles to NY and back in a blizzard? Oh, and saying he'd pay my expenses was a backhanded way of saying I wouldn't be on the clock, too. But I truly believe he thought that just dangling the carrot of getting to drive a Cadillac would make me swoon and jump at the offer.
He could also be hitting on you
Originally posted by: Looney
Originally posted by: kranky
I once worked for a guy who, I am convinced, was insane. I only worked there two years but I could fill a book with the stories.
Just one...
My company (let's call it NutHouseInc) was located on a long, dead-end road in one of those industrial parks. It was the next-to-last building on the road. The owner of my company owned the land on both sides of the road. One day he got a brainstorm and decided that he was going to charge the company located at the end of the road (let's call them NormalPeople) a toll for driving past his building. So he wrote them a letter saying that beginning next month, they would have to pay him for the use of the road.
The folks at NormalPeople no doubt had a good laugh and threw the letter away. He wrote them again a week later reiterating his demand for money in exchange for them using the road in front of his building. Not surprisingly, again there was no response.
Well, the first of the month came and he ordered one of his workers to pull a bulldozer across the road so no one could get to NormalPeople's building. The first person arriving for work at NormalPeople asked to have the bulldozer moved. Our leader told him that he was not moving the bulldozer because NormalPeople failed to pay the toll.
The guy from NormalPeople called the cops. The cops asked our leader to explain the bulldozer. He told the cops that since he owned the land on both sides of the road, then obviously the road belonged to him as well, and NormalPeople was notified of the need to pay for using the road. And since they didn't pay, he wasn't going to let them use it any more.
I think the cops wondered if it was some Candid Camera type show because it was such a bizarre situation. They didn't get into the legal aspects of his "theory" but they told him to move the bulldozer at once, keep it off the road, and if they had to come back he was going to jail.
He moved it but still felt that NormalPeople was getting away with something for not having to pay.
You might wonder why he never pondered why none of the companies on the road AHEAD of him ever charged HIM a toll, and the answer is that, in his mind, they weren't as smart as he was.
LOL that's fantastic!
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Start a wierd co-worker thread and I'm in...
Some sumb boss stories:
landscaping:
Strangest thing ever I suppose. Go to customer A's house and get his ladder. Take it to B to clean hte gutters, then return the ladder. Se we get to customer A's house, open the garage door as instructed by our boss. The guy comes out and it quickly becomes very clear that my boss never asked to borrow the ladder. Talk about a wirerd situation.
But that was no big deal really. Probably the most assinine thing I ever had a boss do though.
Electrical engineer (we also did lighting layouts)
Well, another boss was atotal moron. He was one of those engineers that must have had a 4.0. If it wasn't in a book somewhere, he couldn't figure out the solution. I quit after 3 months. The example in my head was ... if a light is 10 feet from a surface, the intensisty is 4 lumens per square foot. Now if it is 20 feet away, how intense is the light per square foot of floor space? Obvious to most engineers that understand the math behind it. But sicne hte same amount of light, now covers 4 times the area .... each square foot gets 1/4 of the intensity, so 1 lumen. I spent several hours pondering life at that point wheile spending 5-10 minutes to redo the math.
EDIT: I am now a software engineer so my use of lumens/square foot probably makes no sense.
Originally posted by: Safeway
Originally posted by: IHateMyJob2004
Start a wierd co-worker thread and I'm in...
Some sumb boss stories:
landscaping:
Strangest thing ever I suppose. Go to customer A's house and get his ladder. Take it to B to clean hte gutters, then return the ladder. Se we get to customer A's house, open the garage door as instructed by our boss. The guy comes out and it quickly becomes very clear that my boss never asked to borrow the ladder. Talk about a wirerd situation.
But that was no big deal really. Probably the most assinine thing I ever had a boss do though.
Electrical engineer (we also did lighting layouts)
Well, another boss was atotal moron. He was one of those engineers that must have had a 4.0. If it wasn't in a book somewhere, he couldn't figure out the solution. I quit after 3 months. The example in my head was ... if a light is 10 feet from a surface, the intensisty is 4 lumens per square foot. Now if it is 20 feet away, how intense is the light per square foot of floor space? Obvious to most engineers that understand the math behind it. But sicne hte same amount of light, now covers 4 times the area .... each square foot gets 1/4 of the intensity, so 1 lumen. I spent several hours pondering life at that point wheile spending 5-10 minutes to redo the math.
EDIT: I am now a software engineer so my use of lumens/square foot probably makes no sense.
Do you still hate your job?