Hehehehehe, He seems to put you in a bad mood. I didn't tell you my story of how I came to understand I know nothing to put you on the defensive or to suggest I worship satin or debate religious doctrine or some hot new ism of the day. I told you because you have so much more attitude than I do, you are very certain of the correctness of your world view, just like he is, but differently than I am. You are at war for the good and so is he. All I am saying is that I won that war by fighting it and losing. All the self importance you derive from being on the side of the good is an illusion because the good you believe in is vaporware. You're fighting a vaporwar that I lost. I tried to erect this beautiful castle where my empathy could say to the world, this is the one true way to be. But it turns out that each of us is certain that ours is the only way which led me to the conclusion that if all of them can't be right it's likely that none of them are.
If you will look at what you believe and try to prove it's right you will discover you will discover it all rests on unexamined unconscious assumptions. Why does it matter. It matters because everybody who does not know this is exactly the same. They become angry when their beliefs are challenged, feel threatened by the other.
You and agent trying to put me in a manageable bag you can wrap your heads around remind me of the story of the three blind men and describing an elephant they have never seen. Your tools are the world views you bring to the table. I don't have those tools, they broke. You are like fish seeking to know about some mysterious notion called water. It's the same with God. God, the water of life, a pumpkin, all these are just words that describe a conscious state that can only be tasted by experiencing it. You can't take your ego there, I'm sorry, and the ego can't help but see that as a negative.
I see such longing for the good in you that I just wanted to reach out. Perhaps you will think of what I have said to you from time to time. The ego is a trickster, It is the ego that seeks for the sake of the ego. When you see that thought itself is ego how will you think your way out of that. You can't. But you can see the hopelessness of your situation. That is what I call standing in the highway that Grace drives on. She loves an easy target. Do you believe in magic? I don't. I know it's real.