Best Simpson Quote

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Ilmater

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2002
7,516
1
0
Here goes:

Beekeeper: Well, very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar pile and selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: Bees are on the what now?

Director: Fallout Boy will untie Radioactive Man and pull him to safety moments before he's hit with a forty-foot wall of sulfuric acid that will horribly burn everything in its path. Now, that's real acid, so I want to see goggles, people! OK, roll film...tip the acid vats...and -- action!
Rainier Wolfcastle: Ach...only Fallout Boy can save me now.
D: Where's Fallout Boy?
Rainier gasps
D: Fallout Boy!
R: "Uh oh." [puts on goggles, acid then hits him in a wave and carries him off] "My eyes...the goggles do nothing!"

(I hope this is as good here as when I heard it the first time)
Marge: Running a bar is a full-time job -- and you don't even do your full-time job.
Homer: Well, when I'm passionate about something, I see it through to the end.
[moves some boxes, uncovering a half-finished robot]
Robot: Father, give me legs. [Homer tosses out the robot]
Robot [imploring]: Father! [Homer isn't moved, and the robot drags himself away on his "arms"]

I doubt I've ever laughed so hard in my life. "Father, give me legs!" I can just THINK that line and I laugh. That has to be the best single line ever in Simpsons history.

Treehouse of Horror III
Zombie Ned Flanders: Hey, Simpson! I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?
(Homer kills the Zombie Flanders.)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?

Also from Treehouse of Horror III
Homer: Do you sell toys?
House of Evil Owner: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call Frogurt.
Homer: Well, I need something for my son's birthday.
Owner: Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. (points to a talking Krusty doll) Take this object. But beware! It carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping.
Homer: That's good.
Owner: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (Homer stares blankly) That's bad.

Last one:
Smithers: Here are several fine, young men that I am sure are going to go far. Ladies and gentlemen, The Ramones!
Burns: Ahh, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.
Ramones: I'd just like to say, this gig sucks! Hey, up yours, Springfield.
[Ramones sing Happy Birthday song]
Ramones: Go to hell you old bastard. [go backstage] Hey, I think they liked us!
Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: Oh, sir, those aren't...
Burns: DO AS I SAY!

I have this one in audio, but nowhere to host, sorry.

Edit: I lied, this one is too good not to add:
Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies!
Homer: She will be!

WITH AUDIO!!!
 

Orsorum

Lifer
Dec 26, 2001
27,631
5
81
Originally posted by: Ilmater
Also from Treehouse of Horror III
Homer: Do you sell toys?
House of Evil Owner: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call Frogurt.
Homer: Well, I need something for my son's birthday.
Owner: Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. (points to a talking Krusty doll) Take this object. But beware! It carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping.
Homer: That's good.
Owner: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (Homer stares blankly) That's bad.

lol Oh, god, how I miss the old Simpsons.
 

lokiju

Lifer
May 29, 2003
18,526
5
0
Homer: "No beer and no TV make Homer something, something"

Marge: "Go crazy?"

Homer (Crazy hysterical) "DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!"

 

tooltime

Golden Member
Oct 26, 2003
1,029
0
0
when he asks ned's wife (who is wearing a low cut top) to get him some peanuts from a bowl and says "no, get the ones from further down in the bottom"
 

Wag

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2000
8,286
4
81
Groundskeeper Willie: ""There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!"."
 

SleepWalkerX

Platinum Member
Jun 29, 2004
2,649
0
0
Marge: "I'm pettitioning to get the sugar company closed down."
Wiggum: "Yeah, that sugar has really messed with my Ralphie."

*Ralphie jumping up and down*

Ralph: "I'm happy!! And angry!! :|"
 

Codegen

Banned
Jul 25, 2005
516
0
0
I remember on another episode

Homer: *runs outside ass-naked"
Flanders: "Homie, I can see your Doodle"
Homer: "Shut up, Flanders"
 

CyraKrin

Senior member
Dec 25, 2003
523
2
0
Comic Book guy on ice.. commence cloaking device. cloaking device failed. commence candy bar.
 
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