Moe, responding to prank calls:
- You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
- Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Waylan, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick them down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay?
Lisa: Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he's got Bart!
Mr. Burns: Why, Bart is right here!
Bart: Hello Mother. Hello Father. I missed you during my uneventful absence.
Homer: Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart's a vampire! Beer kills brain cells! Now let's go back to that...building...thingie...where our beds and TV...is.
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?