Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
- 57,530
- 3
- 0
I'm always glad I'm not in Texas.Be glad you're not in Texas.
I'm always glad I'm not in Texas.Be glad you're not in Texas.
You cared enough to post all of that, that's caring.
OK well. A few things I'm going to get back to my exerciseing and loose weight. Im going to look for another job. I'm going to get some counseling, see a psychiatrist. I'm going to ditch the full degree in favour of a much more directed shorter education course. Looking at doing a BCIT programming / IT "degree".
OK well. A few things I'm going to get back to my exerciseing and loose weight. Im going to look for another job. I'm going to get some counseling, see a psychiatrist. I'm going to ditch the full degree in favour of a much more directed shorter education course. Looking at doing a BCIT programming / IT "degree".
These sound like impulse ill conceived decisions that weren't thought out.
1) If you want to 'get in shape' e.g. get muscular, you will gain weight before you lose it in most cases.
2) Looking for another job is a good idea.
3) You are not looking for a psychiatrist, you want to see a psychologist. But this is a step of last resort. Psychologists (esp. the good ones) are VERY expensive. Make the basic changes in your life that you can, then, if you don't see progress or are uncomfortable with some of the changes, then go see a counsellor.
4) Again, ill researched. BCIT might be 'shorter' but their course load for every semester is double that of a regular school (8 courses per semester compared to 4-5 per semester at a college or university). Again it seems you want to get everything done quickly rather than thoroughly.
5) I would encourage you to get OUT of IT. My assistant has a degree in IT from BCIT and said it was HELL, and my assistant is a VERY smart guy. Also, he said everyone in the program was an anti-social geek. The last thing you should be doing is being around people that perpetuate your style of behavior.
I'm always glad I'm not in Texas.
Boston is in Texas now?
Don't give up bro. Don't ever give up. It WILL get better trust me. Take the steps to get help, followed by self-improvement in whatever form that you enjoy or prefer.
tbh it definitely won't get better on its own. Anyone that laments their virginity and general worthlessness at 29 and regrets all the lost years will be no better at 39 or 49. I have a family member who reminds me a fair bit of him (along with a couple other ATOTers) and he's only gone downhill for the last ten years of his life.
Deferred gratification and delayed gratification denote a person’s ability to wait in order to obtain something that he or she wants. This intellectual attribute is also called impulse control, will power, self control, and “low” time preference, in economics. Sociologically, good impulse control is considered a positive personality trait, which psychologist Daniel Goleman indicated as an important component trait of emotional intelligence. Moreover, people who lack the psychological trait of being able to delay gratification are said to require instant gratification and might suffer poor impulse control. The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment (1972) indicates that good impulse control might be psychologically important for academic achievement and for success in adult life.[1] Research also indicates that animals do not defer gratification, but instead apply hyperbolic discounting, so, the intellectual problem of delayed gratification is philosophically fundamental to human nature.
In the late nineteen-sixties, Carolyn Weisz, a four-year-old with long brown hair, was invited into a “game room” at the Bing Nursery School, on the campus of Stanford University. The room was little more than a large closet, containing a desk and a chair. Carolyn was asked to sit down in the chair and pick a treat from a tray of marshmallows, cookies, and pretzel sticks. Carolyn chose the marshmallow. Although she’s now forty-four, Carolyn still has a weakness for those air-puffed balls of corn syrup and gelatine. “I know I shouldn’t like them,” she says. “But they’re just so delicious!” A researcher then made Carolyn an offer: she could either eat one marshmallow right away or, if she was willing to wait while he stepped out for a few minutes, she could have two marshmallows when he returned. He said that if she rang a bell on the desk while he was away he would come running back, and she could eat one marshmallow but would forfeit the second. Then he left the room.
Although Carolyn has no direct memory of the experiment, and the scientists would not release any information about the subjects, she strongly suspects that she was able to delay gratification. “I’ve always been really good at waiting,” Carolyn told me. “If you give me a challenge or a task, then I’m going to find a way to do it, even if it means not eating my favorite food.” Her mother, Karen Sortino, is still more certain: “Even as a young kid, Carolyn was very patient. I’m sure she would have waited.” But her brother Craig, who also took part in the experiment, displayed less fortitude. Craig, a year older than Carolyn, still remembers the torment of trying to wait. “At a certain point, it must have occurred to me that I was all by myself,” he recalls. “And so I just started taking all the candy.” According to Craig, he was also tested with little plastic toys—he could have a second one if he held out—and he broke into the desk, where he figured there would be additional toys. “I took everything I could,” he says. “I cleaned them out. After that, I noticed the teachers encouraged me to not go into the experiment room anymore.”
Footage of these experiments, which were conducted over several years, is poignant, as the kids struggle to delay gratification for just a little bit longer. Some cover their eyes with their hands or turn around so that they can’t see the tray. Others start kicking the desk, or tug on their pigtails, or stroke the marshmallow as if it were a tiny stuffed animal. One child, a boy with neatly parted hair, looks carefully around the room to make sure that nobody can see him. Then he picks up an Oreo, delicately twists it apart, and licks off the white cream filling before returning the cookie to the tray, a satisfied look on his face.
Most of the children were like Craig. They struggled to resist the treat and held out for an average of less than three minutes. “A few kids ate the marshmallow right away,” Walter Mischel, the Stanford professor of psychology in charge of the experiment, remembers. “They didn’t even bother ringing the bell. Other kids would stare directly at the marshmallow and then ring the bell thirty seconds later.” About thirty per cent of the children, however, were like Carolyn. They successfully delayed gratification until the researcher returned, some fifteen minutes later. These kids wrestled with temptation but found a way to resist.
The initial goal of the experiment was to identify the mental processes that allowed some people to delay gratification while others simply surrendered. After publishing a few papers on the Bing studies in the early seventies, Mischel moved on to other areas of personality research. “There are only so many things you can do with kids trying not to eat marshmallows.”
But occasionally Mischel would ask his three daughters, all of whom attended the Bing, about their friends from nursery school. “It was really just idle dinnertime conversation,” he says. “I’d ask them, ‘How’s Jane? How’s Eric? How are they doing in school?’ ” Mischel began to notice a link between the children’s academic performance as teen-agers and their ability to wait for the second marshmallow. He asked his daughters to assess their friends academically on a scale of zero to five. Comparing these ratings with the original data set, he saw a correlation. “That’s when I realized I had to do this seriously,” he says. Starting in 1981, Mischel sent out a questionnaire to all the reachable parents, teachers, and academic advisers of the six hundred and fifty-three subjects who had participated in the marshmallow task, who were by then in high school. He asked about every trait he could think of, from their capacity to plan and think ahead to their ability to “cope well with problems” and get along with their peers. He also requested their S.A.T. scores.
Once Mischel began analyzing the results, he noticed that low delayers, the children who rang the bell quickly, seemed more likely to have behavioral problems, both in school and at home. They got lower S.A.T. scores. They struggled in stressful situations, often had trouble paying attention, and found it difficult to maintain friendships. The child who could wait fifteen minutes had an S.A.T. score that was, on average, two hundred and ten points higher than that of the kid who could wait only thirty seconds.
Well I've started the weight loss plan. Eating less and exercising (lost 100lbs in the past so I know I can do that). Also looking for a psychiatrist/psychologist. Not sure what type of job to look for.
Again, I'm not sure how many times I've said that you make impulsive (read: ill informed) choices.
Go read the sticky in the Health and Fitness Forum, the key to losing weight isn't simply eating less and doing cardio, as a matter of fact 'crash dieting' and not eating enough foot catabolizes muscle and can actually make you skinny fat.
Please, do your research and make the most informed decision possible.
If you have the cash I would highly recommend Dr. Stephen Madigan, he's a world renowned psychologist specializing in cognitive therapy here in Vancouver and you can usually get in within 5 business days, but he's expensive.
Again, I'm not sure how many times I've said that you make impulsive (read: ill informed) choices.
Go read the sticky in the Health and Fitness Forum, the key to losing weight isn't simply eating less and doing cardio, as a matter of fact 'crash dieting' and not eating enough foot catabolizes muscle and can actually make you skinny fat. As a matter of fact, if you want to gain muscle you WILL get fat, it's just a question of how much. If you want to gain faster, you will gain more fat, if you want to gain at a slower pace, you will gain less fat. Either way, you're gaining fat. The problem with cutting right away is that if you don't have any muscle to keep, your body will just turn into jello.
Please, do your research and make the most informed decision possible.
If you have the cash I would highly recommend Dr. Stephen Madigan, he's a world renowned psychologist specializing in cognitive therapy here in Vancouver and you can usually get in within 5 business days, but he's expensive.
Edit: Unless you're going to a community health clinic, psychology has NEVER been covered by MSP. I don't know who the f*ck told you that, but MSP doesn't cover anything but basic health care. It would probably be extended medical that covered you.