Blog about flu vaccine that has been circulating at the hospital my wife works at

[DrPizza]

I found this funny as I've heard the exact same things before. The article was directed toward health care professionals.

A Budget of Dumb Asses
Mark Crislip, MD, Infectious Diseases, 08:40PM Sep 7, 2009

Flu season is here, kinda sorta, it never really went away thanks to H1N1. I was rounding today, lucky me with the three day weekend, when one of my colleagues mentioned a post I had written a year ago at the old blog about the flu vaccine. It was printed and put up in the break room, and he saw it, took it home to his wife, who promptly mailed it to a colleague that is a proud "I never get the flu vaccine" kind of guy.

It is like people who are proud of being ignorant of science. I never understand why people brag about being ignorant or stupid. You would think they would be embarrassed, but then they are probably a... well, let us just see.

Anyway, he read my short rant and evidently changed his mind about getting the flu vaccine this year. Yippee. So what was the powerful, reasoned essay that altered the course of human (well, maybe one human) history?

I give you, slightly rewritten for 2009, a Budget of Dumb Asses.

I had my flu shot today. Well, my anti-flu shot. Protected me, my family, and my patients from sickness and death for another year. Whew.

I wonder if you are one of those Dumb Asses who do not get the flu shot each year? Yes. Dumb Ass. Big D, big A. You may be allergic to the vaccine, you may have had Guillain Barre, in which case I will cut you some slack. But if you don't have those conditions and you work in health care and you don't get a vaccine for one of the following reasons, you are a dumb ass.

1. The vaccine gives me the flu. Dumb ass. It is a killed vaccine. It cannot give you the influenza. It is impossible to get flu from the influenza vaccine.

2. I never get the flu, so I don't need the vaccine. Irresponsible dumb ass. I have never had a head on collision, but I wear my seat belt. And you probably don't use a condom either. So far you have been lucky, and you are a potential winner of a Darwin Award, although since you don't use a condom, you are unfortunately still in the gene pool.

3. Only old people get the flu. Selfish dumb ass. Influenza can infect anyone, and one of the groups who are more likely to die of influenza are the very young. Often those most at risk for dieing from influenza are those least able, due to age or underlying diseases, to respond to the vaccine. You can help prevent your old, sickly Grandmother or your newborn daughter from getting influenza by getting the vaccine, so you do not get flu and pass it one to her. Flu, by the way, is highly contagious, with 20 to 50% of contacts with an index case getting the flu. However, Granny may be sitting on a fortune that will come to you, and killing her off with the flu is a great way to get her out of the way and never be caught. That would make a good episode of CSI.

4. I can prevent influenza or treat it by taking echinacea, vitamin C or airborne. Gullible dumb ass cubed then squared. None of these concoctions has any efficacy what so ever against influenza. They neither prevent nor treat influenza. And you can't boost you immune system either. Immunity is not a Jamba Juice. Anyone who says that the immune system can be boosted is also a dumb ass.

5. Flu isn't all that bad a disease. Underestimating dumb ass. Part of the problem with the term flu is that it is used both as a generic term for damn near any viral illness with a fever and is also used for a severe viral pneumonia. Medical people are just as inaccurate about using the term as the general public. The influenza virus directly and indirectly kills 30,000 people and leads to hospitalization of 200,000 in the US each year. Influenza is a nasty lung illness. And what is stomach 'flu'? No such thing, dumb ass.

6. I am not at risk for flu. Denying dumb ass. If you breathe, you are risk for influenza. Here are the groups of people who should not get the flu vaccine (outside of people with severe adverse reactions to the vaccine): Former President Clinton, who evidently doesn't inhale. And people who want to be safe from zombies. If you don't get the vaccine you do not have to worry about the zombie apocalypse, because zombies eat brains.

7. The vaccine is worse than the disease. Dumb ass AND a wimp. What a combination. Your mother must be proud. Unless you think a sore deltoid for a day is too high a price to pay to prevent two weeks of high fevers, severe muscles aches, and intractable cough.

8. I had the vaccine last year, so I do not need it this year. Uneducated dumb ass. Each year new stains of influenza circulate across the world. Last years vaccine at best provides only partial protection. Every year you need a new shot. And we have a new strain this season, H1N1, so you cannot be a parasite on the immunity of others.

9. The vaccine costs too much. Cheap dumb ass. The vaccine costs less than a funeral, less than Tamiflu, less than a week in the hospital.

10. I received the vaccine and I got the flu anyway. Inexact dumb ass. The vaccine is not perfect and you may have indeed had the flu. More likely you called one of the many colds people get each year the flu. Remember there are hundreds of potential causes of a respiratory infection circulating, the vaccine only covers influenza, the virus most likely to kill you and yours.

11. I don't believe in the flu vaccine. Superstitious, premodern, magical thinking dumb ass. What is there to believe in? Belief is what you do when there is no data. Probably don't believe in gravity or germ theory either. Everyone, I suppose, has to believe in something, and I believe I will have a beer.

12. The government puts tracking nanobots in the vaccine as well as RFID chips as part of the mark of the beast, and the vaccine doesn't work since it is part of a big government sponsored conspiracy to line the pockets of big pharma and inject the American sheeple with exotic new infections in an attempt to control population growth and help usher in a New World Order. Well, that excuse is at least reasonable. Paranoid dumb ass.

So get the vaccine. And pass this url on to someone else. The life you may save may be your own. Or be a dumb ass.

http://boards.medscape.com/for....soMda7z9d9K@.29f60079!comment=1

 

[olds]

Fuck H1N1. My antibodies can kick your antibodies ass.




:laugh:

 

[rocadelpunk]

i hate the flu shot, only shot that hurts like a mofo...my arm feels severely bruised for a week.

However, flu mist is the shiz : )

 

[Jeff7]

Phew, no option there for, "My blood pressure drops to the point of nearly passing out when I get shots, and I hate needles."

 

[Bateluer]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I found this funny as I've heard the exact same things before. The article was directed toward health care professionals.

A Budget of Dumb Asses
Mark Crislip, MD, Infectious Diseases, 08:40PM Sep 7, 2009

Flu season is here, kinda sorta, it never really went away thanks to H1N1. I was rounding today, lucky me with the three day weekend, when one of my colleagues mentioned a post I had written a year ago at the old blog about the flu vaccine. It was printed and put up in the break room, and he saw it, took it home to his wife, who promptly mailed it to a colleague that is a proud "I never get the flu vaccine" kind of guy.

It is like people who are proud of being ignorant of science. I never understand why people brag about being ignorant or stupid. You would think they would be embarrassed, but then they are probably a... well, let us just see.

Anyway, he read my short rant and evidently changed his mind about getting the flu vaccine this year. Yippee. So what was the powerful, reasoned essay that altered the course of human (well, maybe one human) history?

I give you, slightly rewritten for 2009, a Budget of Dumb Asses.

I had my flu shot today. Well, my anti-flu shot. Protected me, my family, and my patients from sickness and death for another year. Whew.

I wonder if you are one of those Dumb Asses who do not get the flu shot each year? Yes. Dumb Ass. Big D, big A. You may be allergic to the vaccine, you may have had Guillain Barre, in which case I will cut you some slack. But if you don't have those conditions and you work in health care and you don't get a vaccine for one of the following reasons, you are a dumb ass.

1. The vaccine gives me the flu. Dumb ass. It is a killed vaccine. It cannot give you the influenza. It is impossible to get flu from the influenza vaccine.

2. I never get the flu, so I don't need the vaccine. Irresponsible dumb ass. I have never had a head on collision, but I wear my seat belt. And you probably don't use a condom either. So far you have been lucky, and you are a potential winner of a Darwin Award, although since you don't use a condom, you are unfortunately still in the gene pool.

3. Only old people get the flu. Selfish dumb ass. Influenza can infect anyone, and one of the groups who are more likely to die of influenza are the very young. Often those most at risk for dieing from influenza are those least able, due to age or underlying diseases, to respond to the vaccine. You can help prevent your old, sickly Grandmother or your newborn daughter from getting influenza by getting the vaccine, so you do not get flu and pass it one to her. Flu, by the way, is highly contagious, with 20 to 50% of contacts with an index case getting the flu. However, Granny may be sitting on a fortune that will come to you, and killing her off with the flu is a great way to get her out of the way and never be caught. That would make a good episode of CSI.

4. I can prevent influenza or treat it by taking echinacea, vitamin C or airborne. Gullible dumb ass cubed then squared. None of these concoctions has any efficacy what so ever against influenza. They neither prevent nor treat influenza. And you can't boost you immune system either. Immunity is not a Jamba Juice. Anyone who says that the immune system can be boosted is also a dumb ass.

5. Flu isn't all that bad a disease. Underestimating dumb ass. Part of the problem with the term flu is that it is used both as a generic term for damn near any viral illness with a fever and is also used for a severe viral pneumonia. Medical people are just as inaccurate about using the term as the general public. The influenza virus directly and indirectly kills 30,000 people and leads to hospitalization of 200,000 in the US each year. Influenza is a nasty lung illness. And what is stomach 'flu'? No such thing, dumb ass.

6. I am not at risk for flu. Denying dumb ass. If you breathe, you are risk for influenza. Here are the groups of people who should not get the flu vaccine (outside of people with severe adverse reactions to the vaccine): Former President Clinton, who evidently doesn't inhale. And people who want to be safe from zombies. If you don't get the vaccine you do not have to worry about the zombie apocalypse, because zombies eat brains.

7. The vaccine is worse than the disease. Dumb ass AND a wimp. What a combination. Your mother must be proud. Unless you think a sore deltoid for a day is too high a price to pay to prevent two weeks of high fevers, severe muscles aches, and intractable cough.

8. I had the vaccine last year, so I do not need it this year. Uneducated dumb ass. Each year new stains of influenza circulate across the world. Last years vaccine at best provides only partial protection. Every year you need a new shot. And we have a new strain this season, H1N1, so you cannot be a parasite on the immunity of others.

9. The vaccine costs too much. Cheap dumb ass. The vaccine costs less than a funeral, less than Tamiflu, less than a week in the hospital.

10. I received the vaccine and I got the flu anyway. Inexact dumb ass. The vaccine is not perfect and you may have indeed had the flu. More likely you called one of the many colds people get each year the flu. Remember there are hundreds of potential causes of a respiratory infection circulating, the vaccine only covers influenza, the virus most likely to kill you and yours.

11. I don't believe in the flu vaccine. Superstitious, premodern, magical thinking dumb ass. What is there to believe in? Belief is what you do when there is no data. Probably don't believe in gravity or germ theory either. Everyone, I suppose, has to believe in something, and I believe I will have a beer.

12. The government puts tracking nanobots in the vaccine as well as RFID chips as part of the mark of the beast, and the vaccine doesn't work since it is part of a big government sponsored conspiracy to line the pockets of big pharma and inject the American sheeple with exotic new infections in an attempt to control population growth and help usher in a New World Order. Well, that excuse is at least reasonable. Paranoid dumb ass.

So get the vaccine. And pass this url on to someone else. The life you may save may be your own. Or be a dumb ass.

http://boards.medscape.com/for....soMda7z9d9K@.29f60079!comment=1

Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot. Two week later, the other half would be infected from contact with the first half. Every year, I'd get the flu shot, and then get the flu a few days later. The flu when the gave the shot wasn't too bad, only a week or so. But the FluMist nasal spray variant I will never take again. Multiple re-infections of the flu from that crap because that version is a LIVE virus and everyone touches their nose and leaves infected particles on every surface they touch. Get the FluMist, prepare for a good month or so of on and off again flu infections.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

GREAT article doc! Not only very informative (and well researched) but also hilarious.

I can prevent influenza or treat it by taking echinacea, vitamin C or airborne. Gullible dumb ass cubed then squared.

:laugh::laugh:

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Originally posted by: Bateluer
Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. I would bet money that the illness going around that base was not the flu, but one of the many minor viral infections mentioned in the article.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer

Originally posted by: Bateluer
Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. I would bet money that the illness going around that base was not the flu, but one of the many minor viral infections mentioned in the article.

Heh, like "24hr flu" or "stomach flu."

Guess what, if it's gone in 24hrs, it wasn't flu. And flu is a respiratory infection, so "stomach flu" pretty much can't happen, unless your stomach somehow evolved to serve as a means of breathing.



Yeah, maybe I should get the shot. But, well, as I mentioned, I'm a damn wuss about needles, and then I start just...envisioning the foreign material being injected somewhere under my skin, and it just gets gross from there. And did I mention the pain? And lying doctors? "This won't hurt at all." "No, don't worry, once the needle's out, it won't hurt at all." Guess what, psychology can't do a damn thing to mitigate the feeling of a hollow metal spike in your arm.

 

[DrPizza]

If you go through the comments, it's even well argued.

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer

Originally posted by: Bateluer
Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. I would bet money that the illness going around that base was not the flu, but one of the many minor viral infections mentioned in the article.

Heh, like "24hr flu" or "stomach flu."

Guess what, if it's gone in 24hrs, it wasn't flu. And flu is a respiratory infection, so "stomach flu" pretty much can't happen, unless your stomach somehow evolved to serve as a means of breathing.



Yeah, maybe I should get the shot. But, well, as I mentioned, I'm a damn wuss about needles, and then I start just...envisioning the foreign material being injected somewhere under my skin, and it just gets gross from there. And did I mention the pain? And lying doctors? "This won't hurt at all." "No, don't worry, once the needle's out, it won't hurt at all." Guess what, psychology can't do a damn thing to mitigate the feeling of a hollow metal spike in your arm.

Could try flumist if you dont have any kind of immune disease

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Fuck H1N1. My antibodies can kick your antibodies ass.




:laugh:

Actually, us old geezers are less at risk than the young un's IIRC...

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer

Originally posted by: Bateluer
Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc. I would bet money that the illness going around that base was not the flu, but one of the many minor viral infections mentioned in the article.

Heh, like "24hr flu" or "stomach flu."

Guess what, if it's gone in 24hrs, it wasn't flu. And flu is a respiratory infection, so "stomach flu" pretty much can't happen, unless your stomach somehow evolved to serve as a means of breathing.



Yeah, maybe I should get the shot. But, well, as I mentioned, I'm a damn wuss about needles, and then I start just...envisioning the foreign material being injected somewhere under my skin, and it just gets gross from there. And did I mention the pain? And lying doctors? "This won't hurt at all." "No, don't worry, once the needle's out, it won't hurt at all." Guess what, psychology can't do a damn thing to mitigate the feeling of a hollow metal spike in your arm.

It's weird - shots used to always bother me... a lot. I'd donate blood, but if I saw the needle even once during the procedure, forget it.

But, ever since we started doing the goat thing & I've been forced to administers dozens - hundreds of shots, needles no longer bother me.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
Fuck H1N1. My antibodies can kick your antibodies ass.




:laugh:

Actually, us old geezers are less at risk than the young un's IIRC...

This swine flu has proven to be dangerous to young people, but you dinosaurs are more susceptible to the regular seasonal flu.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Originally posted by: GodlessAstronomer


This swine flu has proven to be dangerous to young people, but you dinosaurs are more susceptible to the regular seasonal flu.

Yep... I'll likely get the H1N1 vaccination anyway because I work in health care.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
If you go through the comments, it's even well argued.

So are you getting a flu shot this year?

 

[Kev]

What an annoying article. The ideas are good but for some reason, with each sentence I get an increasing urge to punch whoever wrote it .

 

[DAGTA]

Stopped reading at #4. That MD is a dumbass if he truly thinks there is no way to boost the immune system. Prime example of the failure of current medicine in teaching doctors about nutrition and the body.

 

[jagec]

I never get the flu and don't come into contact with people at risk, so traditionally I haven't gotten the shot. But once I started working in more healthcare-related fields and the shot was free and administered just a few floors up from my lab, I couldn't really justify not getting it, so I did.

Let me tell you, the people that they pick to give injections to other healthcare people KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. One of the most painless shots of my life.

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: DAGTA
Stopped reading at #4. That MD is a dumbass if he truly thinks there is no way to boost the immune system. Prime example of the failure of current medicine in teaching doctors about nutrition and the body.

Nutrition is important, but overdosing on vitamin C and all that other garbage doesn't do squat to reduce the length of a cold.

If you want to keep your immune system strong, you'll want to practice good nutritional habits all the time, not just when you think you're going to get sick.

 

[Brainonska511]

Originally posted by: Bateluer
Fails on the first bullet point. Every year when the USAF had us get the flu shot, half the damn base would be infected with the flu from the shot. Two week later, the other half would be infected from contact with the first half. Every year, I'd get the flu shot, and then get the flu a few days later. The flu when the gave the shot wasn't too bad, only a week or so.

Yeah... sure thing there doc :roll:

Influenza != a mild immune reaction to the shot. You cannot get the flu from the flu shot, it is a dead virus.

When would they distribute the flu shot? It takes at least 2 weeks for the shot to give effective immunity to the virus. If they are giving it during the height of flu season and someone is already sick, it can spread before the flu shot has time to build immunity in people. And what you're calling "the flu" might not be anything more than a cold that happened to be going around.

 

[Tequila]

Dumb ass is me then.

I haven't got a flu vaccine in 20+ years, probably 25 now. I get the flu every 6-7 years and I usually recover in 3-4 days. Then again this dumb ass eats well, excercises enough to run circles around people half my age and has a very good education and job. This dumb ass was around in '76 when 25 people died from the swine flu vaccine and only one person died of the swine flu.

So I guess I'll just keep being a dumb ass

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Christ, and he's a doctor, we are doomed.

 

[rhino56]

i would never listen to a MD that spoke like that. And just about every MD these days passes out zoloft and other drugs like candy. might as well go straight to Pfizer when you need a doctor because MD's are basically owned by them these days.

 

[blinblue]

In case people didn't pick up on it, I think whoever wrote this was writing it for people working in healthcare. In which case, yes, you are dumb for not getting hte flu shot.
However, I don't think I'm that dumb for not getting the flu shot. I will be around no people who are at risk and have never gotten the flu, oh and I loath needles anywhere near my skin (mostly that last point).

 

[Bignate603]

Originally posted by: DAGTA
Stopped reading at #4. That MD is a dumbass if he truly thinks there is no way to boost the immune system. Prime example of the failure of current medicine in teaching doctors about nutrition and the body.

:roll: Yes, malnutrition does affect your immune system but the idea that taking some herbs or massive doses of vitamins will make your immune system go into overdrive is ignorance.