Blonde jokes

[wolf550e]

i am not saying all blondes are dumb! (only the natural ones )
these are the jokes i know of:
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
- she called me to get my phone number.
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- she tried to drown a fish.
- she thought a quarterback was a refund.
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
- she tripped over a cordless phone.
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...she put Sagittarius."
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
- she studied for a blood test.
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
- she sold the car for gas money.
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

please post more blonde jokes!

 

[XeonTux]

My fav:

Whats the difference between a blonde and a 747?
































the blonde has a bigger cockpit

 

[Bling Bling]

why do coffins for blondes have to be y-shaped?





































cuz they spread their legs automatically when they lie down.


It's something along those lines.

 

[XeonTux]

perhaps this isn't the appropriate place for these... hope noone takes offense to my prior post, and if you do - my apologies

 

[Prodigy^]

lmao I found that one hilarious Xeon

ok here's a couple I randomly digged outta my email library

------

She Was So Blonde That She ...


Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with
a slope.

Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the typewriter.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and
the box said "2 to 4 years".

Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was, answered "C."

Burnt her nose bobbing for French fries.

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1hour per
pound, and she weighed 125.

Can't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets.

Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.

Got hurt while raking leaves; fell out of the tree.

Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said
"good up to 20 pounds."

After losing in a breast-stroke swimming competition, complained
that the other swimmers were using their arms.

What goes "vroom-screech-vroom-screech', etc.? A blonde at a
flashing red light.

Two blondes are trying to get into their car using a coat hanger
when one says, "Hurry, it's starting to rain and the top is down."

 

[Abomination]

Those jokes are funny as hell

I copied all of prodigy's jokes ehheh.

 

[Cougarmadcat]

Why did the blonde have a sore bellybutton?






Her boyfriend was blonde too.

 

[Damaged]

Huh. I heard the blonde one about 747s as: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? A lot of people haven't been in a 747.

Or, what do dyed blondes and airplanes have in common? They both have black boxes.

 

[wolf550e]

^bump
please post more, but keep it clean or the mod will lock this. <hoping she is not a blonde>

 

[AgGolfer]

What do you call a blonde that has died her hair brown?










Artificial Intelligence

 

[gittyup]

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?












It takes too long to retrain them!

 

[Regine]

Why are blonde jokes so short?















So that men can remember them.

 

[classy]

A man is shopping for a corvette. So he aks his blonde girlfriend to help him look through the want ads. She come s across this ad that says 1990 vette, mint condition, low mileage, only $15,500. When they go to switch papers the man sees the ad and says that is just what I am looking for. His girlfriend says to him I seen that ad but I didn't think you would want it. He looks at her and says why? She looks at him real serious and says because &quot;mint&quot; is a ugly color.

 

[gittyup]

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?













A wind tunnel.

 

[tommyc]

Benjamin Moore has a paint called Blonde.
It's not too bright and it spreads easy

 

[kmike75]

Three blonds go on a nature hike and notice some tracks in the snow. The first blond says, &quot;Hey look,,, deer tracks&quot;!!! The second blond says. &quot;Those aren't deer tracks, those are rabbit tracks&quot;. The third blond says, &quot;Oh, well like, those are like, cow tracks or something&quot;... And they stood there and argued until the train hit them....

 

[Bling Bling]

dude, are you sure you're not blonde, cuz it's spelt B-L-O-N-D-E.

 

[yakko]

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
Why did the blonde lose her job at the M&amp;M factory? She kept throwing away the Ws.
How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? There are M&amp;M shells on the floor.