Bought a nice laptop for the girlfriend...

[MikeMike]

Wow, im not even a good bf to my gf, and i know that if i were to buy her something of that magnitude (a few hundo atleast) i would know exactly what she wants. If she had been asking for months about a PINK laptop, i would have gotten her a PINK one, although she never would want pink, it is something you screwed up on. She is your fiance, you dont ever get her something she has asked for for a long time, and get the wrong color, etc... get what she wants... even for any other gifts its the same way.

 

[Ultralight]

Originally posted by: dbk
Is she 12? Now you have an excuse to buy her crappy gifts.

This. There is nothing like going the extra mile to make a nice suprise and get it jammed down your throat because a particular aspect of the overall gift is missing. She sounds as shallow as the thin pink veneer she wants on her laptop.

 

[Geekbabe]

So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.


Also did this woman say."please honey, I'd love a laptop for my Xmas gift" or was it just something she needed to have?

Our house "needs" a deep freezer, I'd be less than thrilled to receive it as an Xmas or birthday gift.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.

Chic way = Use the gift and then never use it again, make small little non descript hints to let the SO know it wasn't the best gift evar.

Guy way = Thanks hon, it's a nice gift but I'll never use this.

 

[dlx22]

Originally posted by: Lola

Hold it there bucko... i am NOT defending. I am simply saying that I give gifts that I know the giftee will love. I also feel strongly about people being appericative for anything they are given.
Cripes.:roll:

holy crap I don't think i've seen someone use the word cripes in almost a decade! :Q

 

[Capt Caveman]

Wow, the OP is destined for a horrible marriage, divorce and alimony.

The fact that they are engaged, I would hope they would have good communication and not have to figure out what the other means. If not, then it's time before it's too late.

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.


Also did this woman say."please honey, I'd love a laptop for my Xmas gift" or was it just something she needed to have?

Our house "needs" a deep freezer, I'd be less than thrilled to receive it as an Xmas or birthday gift.

I don't even know where to start with this.

It is one thing to not like the GIFT (which sometimes you can't help), it is another to not like it due to color that doesn't change functionality.

I'll admit, someone asked an interesting question saying what if I received pink power tools? I would be shocked and confused and probably have a strange reaction. I can be honest about that. But I WOULD NOT tell them I don't want it. No way on earth. If it wasn't what I needed (say a drill rather than a saw), I'm not sure what I would say. But in this situation, the laptop is functionally the same regardless of color.

Also, pink is an outrageous color or out of norm. It stands out. The laptop is probably gray or some other neutral color which may lack "pizaz (sp?)" but wouldn't be distracting so I don't know if the pink power tools is a valid argument. Nonetheless, those are my thoughts.

That being said, you should always try to like the thought rather than the gift. Trying doesn't mean perfection as I stated above, but appreciate the person, not your color preferences.



This thread is full of fail and win.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.

Chic way = Use the gift and then never use it again, make small little non descript hints to let the SO know it wasn't the best gift evar.

Guy way = Thanks hon, it's a nice gift but I'll never use this.

I prefer the "guy way" hopefully said soon after opening the gift so that we can
make arrangements to quickly return it and get something he'll really like.


Btw, I am not saying here that it's ok to be rude ever about a gift you don't care for.I am saying that if I'm spending a lot of money on something for you and it isn't to your tastes, I'd much rather have you tell me that than it thank me and tell me you love it and then promptly toss it in a closet,sell it or gasp..regift it.

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.

Chic way = Use the gift and then never use it again, make small little non descript hints to let the SO know it wasn't the best gift evar.

Guy way = Thanks hon, it's a nice gift but I'll never use this.

I prefer the "guy way" hopefully said soon after opening the gift so that we can
make arrangements to quickly return it and get something he'll really like.


Btw, I am not saying here that it's ok to be rude ever about a gift you don't care for.I am saying that if I'm spending a lot of money on something for you and it isn't to your tastes, I'd much rather have you tell me that than it thank me and tell me you love it and then promptly toss it in a closet,sell it or gasp..regift it.

This I can appreciate somewhat. But saying you don't want it the way this was presented (just let my bro have one, aka I don't even care to fix this) is another. There is tact and this response lacks it.

Example, I'd be much more fond of something like: "Wow thanks for the laptop, but do you think maybe we could exchange it for another color?"

Yeah it would suck to get this response, but I'd have much more respect for it. I'd probably still be mad, but much much much less.

 

[Madwand1]

OP, it's understandable that you would be upset because of this misunderstanding, but I think the question you should ask is whether the lack of appreciation on her part is a failing in her relationship, or a simple matter related to a thing and not really a matter of the relationship. In the latter case, which I guess is most probable, you need to make the effort to understand and differentiate the thing from the relationship, and get over your own preferences related to the thing, and allow her the expression of her own tastes in this. BTW, her tastes probably go beyond the color -- the best approach would probably be to involve her in making the choice altogether.

 

[Anubis]

this is almost as bad as those vids on youtube of teenage girls having a hissy fit because Dad got the wrong color Porsche

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Tweak155

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.

Chic way = Use the gift and then never use it again, make small little non descript hints to let the SO know it wasn't the best gift evar.

Guy way = Thanks hon, it's a nice gift but I'll never use this.

I prefer the "guy way" hopefully said soon after opening the gift so that we can
make arrangements to quickly return it and get something he'll really like.


Btw, I am not saying here that it's ok to be rude ever about a gift you don't care for.I am saying that if I'm spending a lot of money on something for you and it isn't to your tastes, I'd much rather have you tell me that than it thank me and tell me you love it and then promptly toss it in a closet,sell it or gasp..regift it.

This I can appreciate somewhat. But saying you don't want it the way this was presented (just let my bro have one, aka I don't even care to fix this) is another. There is tact and this response lacks it.

Example, I'd be much more fond of something like: "Wow thanks for the laptop, but do you think maybe we could exchange it for another color?"

Yeah it would suck to get this response, but I'd have much more respect for it. I'd probably still be mad, but much much much less.

I'm getting the feeling though that maybe there's more history here than the OP has given
us. I'm not saying it's okay to be rude or ungracious, just that her reaction might be viewed differently with a bit more history given. Is she usually grateful and/or appreciative of gifts, does she ask for/expect a lot of material things etc?


I don't get all emotional over this sort of thing.. if I care for you enough to want to spend a lot of money on you, to me it's a given that you appreciate my efforts and my thoughts. Even the best gift givers have things that occasionally bomb, my husband or my best friend telling me that they love my thoughtfulness but would prefer another gift doesn't bother me, you cannot always have a hit gift.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Originally posted by: Tweak155

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
So if one doesn't like a gift given by their SO,how does one go about expressing that?

People who lie and express pleasure over gifts they don't like and that don't suit them
tend to spend the rest of their married lives receiving the same sort of gifts,year after year.


Also did this woman say."please honey, I'd love a laptop for my Xmas gift" or was it just something she needed to have?

Our house "needs" a deep freezer, I'd be less than thrilled to receive it as an Xmas or birthday gift.

I don't even know where to start with this.

It is one thing to not like the GIFT (which sometimes you can't help), it is another to not like it due to color that doesn't change functionality.

I'll admit, someone asked an interesting question saying what if I received pink power tools? I would be shocked and confused and probably have a strange reaction. I can be honest about that. But I WOULD NOT tell them I don't want it. No way on earth. If it wasn't what I needed (say a drill rather than a saw), I'm not sure what I would say. But in this situation, the laptop is functionally the same regardless of color.

Also, pink is an outrageous color or out of norm. It stands out. The laptop is probably gray or some other neutral color which may lack "pizaz (sp?)" but wouldn't be distracting so I don't know if the pink power tools is a valid argument. Nonetheless, those are my thoughts.

That being said, you should always try to like the thought rather than the gift. Trying doesn't mean perfection as I stated above, but appreciate the person, not your color preferences.



This thread is full of fail and win.

Aesthetics are more important to some people, but I still agree with you. In this case it's more because, even if the appearance is important to the girlfriend, the gift is such an expensive one that color should not enter into the equation. It's so far outweighed by the other aspects of the gift that it's not worth taking a huge hit on returning and replacing it just to get another color. If all she wanted was a fashion accessory, there are plenty of ways to get her that without spending so much money. If she said "I want a laptop" and never hinted she wanted it to be pink, then she has no right to complain. She either gets the laptop or she doesn't.

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca
Aesthetics are more important to some people, but I still agree with you. In this case it's more because, even if the appearance is important to the girlfriend, the gift is such an expensive one that color should not enter into the equation. It's so far outweighed by the other aspects of the gift that it's not worth taking a huge hit on returning and replacing it just to get another color. If all she wanted was a fashion accessory, there are plenty of ways to get her that without spending so much money. If she said "I want a laptop" and never hinted she wanted it to be pink, then she has no right to complain. She either gets the laptop or she doesn't.

I think it has less to do with not liking the color of an expensive gift than it does with being ungrateful or upset at any gift. If color is that big of an issue, be very grateful and say you want to exchange it for a pink one (after finding out on your own if it is possible or a pain in the ass). If it is like a $20 upgrade and they'll do it free, just go exchange it yourself and pay the difference.

 

[TehMac]

This is why we need to bring back beating females. It's the only way to hold them in line.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: TehMac
This is why we need to bring back beating females. It's the only way to hold them in line.

that was completely uncalled for, no matter if it was a joke or otherwise. :disgust:

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: TehMac
This is why we need to bring back beating females. It's the only way to hold them in line.

that was completely uncalled for, no matter if it was a joke or otherwise. :disgust:

you have a significant bias when it comes to this issue though, keep that in mind before getting too upset

 

[randay]

dump her, tell her its because shes not tan enough, or too tan. whatever. you get the idea.

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: randay
dump her, tell her its because shes not tan enough, or too tan. whatever. you get the idea.

I like this answer. Proves a point.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Lola

Originally posted by: TehMac
This is why we need to bring back beating females. It's the only way to hold them in line.

that was completely uncalled for, no matter if it was a joke or otherwise. :disgust:

you have a significant bias when it comes to this issue though, keep that in mind before getting too upset

why? because I am a female? No... I do not have any bias. It was uncalled for. I do not take things like that lightly... joking or otherwise.

 

[TehMac]

I was joking, and I apologize unreservedly, but as a male, I find women complain too much. They can't have everything, it's something most men have realized, so women should too.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: TehMac
I was joking, and I apologize unreservedly, but as a male, I find women complain too much. They can't have everything, it's something most men have realized, so women should too.

Nobody can have everything that's why on those special occasions,when I can afford an expensive gift, I go out of my way to make sure it's exactly as the gift receiver would like it.

And I am not spoiled or entitled, my usual Xmas gifts? the things I receive? are things like bathrobes and PJ's.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: 2Xtreme21
Sounds like you picked a winner, OP.

:thumbsup:

 

[Tweak155]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: TehMac
I was joking, and I apologize unreservedly, but as a male, I find women complain too much. They can't have everything, it's something most men have realized, so women should too.

Nobody can have everything that's why on those special occasions,when I can afford an expensive gift, I go out of my way to make sure it's exactly as the gift receiver would like it.

And I am not spoiled or entitled, my usual Xmas gifts? the things I receive? are things like bathrobes and PJ's.

As many times this is said, I don't see how this is a valid argument.

Is there a price point in regards to love and respect?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Tweak155

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: TehMac
I was joking, and I apologize unreservedly, but as a male, I find women complain too much. They can't have everything, it's something most men have realized, so women should too.

Nobody can have everything that's why on those special occasions,when I can afford an expensive gift, I go out of my way to make sure it's exactly as the gift receiver would like it.

And I am not spoiled or entitled, my usual Xmas gifts? the things I receive? are things like bathrobes and PJ's.

As many times this is said, I don't see how this is a valid argument.

Is there a price point in regards to love and respect?

because the usual arguement in these type of threads is that women are entitled gold digging,ungrateful whores. I'm pointing out that my POV comes from the standpoint of the one doing the giving and not the receiving. If my husband lies to me and says he loves a gift I bought him and then sticks it in a closet or a drawer he's just wasted a lot of my money and time and probably ensured himself several more years of similar type gifts because I cannot read minds,telling me he appreciates my thought but that the gift is the wrong color or size or whatever is a lot more respectful and loving imho.

If these people are going to marry,it might be a good idea if they get on the same page regarding gifting,the meaning that each person assigns to it,their comfort levels with expensive gifts etc. There are people who intently dislike large "surprises" particularly if that surprise means they're going to be having ramen for lunch for months while the CC
that was used to pay for it gets paid off.