Bride becomes dictator in letter to bridesmaids

[JimKiler]

Unbelievable. I would tell this woman i will be a bridesmaid or groomsman and then not show to anything.

http://gawker.com/5948725/reasons-why-you-cannot-be-a-bridesmaid

To m lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]

As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn't, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she's in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day shes the go to person and makes it happen.

You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.

Our wedding party is really the most important people at the wedding besides my self and Jake so we want every single one of our bridesmaid and grooms at our parties, I have 10 not 8 where two couldn't make it so if you already know you cant make one of the parties then we have to find someone else, not to be harsh in the slightest it would sadden me and of course you'll still be invited to our wedding, engagement ect. But it's different if your not in the wedding party and couldn't make it. We'll give everyone well advance dates for the parties and it will always fall on a weekend. The wedding as I stated will be in Vail the engagement party will either be in NY or CT and the bachelorette party will be in Vegas, cliche yeaa but I've never been.

A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone. Also if money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don't have time to deal with that, I'm sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we'll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that's why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.

If your out of state though don't think you have to fly in for all fittings, that we will work with you, find stores in your town, get measurements..you don't have to worry about that. Also if you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I'm not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don't have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn't take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!

Furthermore, Ever since I could remember I have dreamed about this day all my life. I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true! So please, what's stated above think about it all and by Wednesday I need to know if everyone is 100% in, and what I have asked about sending me dates if your gonna be away between Feb-Aug ill need that on Wednesday. If you don't think you'll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I'm sorry but I'll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest. If you want to get back to me before Wednesday, that's fine. Really think about everything I've said. This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!

Love,

I cannot wait till her identity gets outed so she can get the internet roast she deserves. C U Next Tuesday lady!

 

[yllus]

That's actually sort of reasonable. It's better to ask people up front if they can afford the time and money to take part, rather than assume so and have them get sticker shock.

That said, I wouldn't be in the wedding party of anyone who writes, "But it's different if your not in the wedding party." Get a fucking education, lady.

Edit: "Seeee ya" for someone taking 2-3 days to respond to an e-mail is not reasonable.

 

[SpatiallyAware]

Sounds fine to me, for the most part.. She's sending this to her friends.

I've seen way too many weddings fall apart from idiotic bridesmaids.

 

[SunnyD]

That's actually sort of reasonable. It's better to ask people up front if they can afford the time and money to take part, rather than assume so and have them get sticker shock.

That said, I wouldn't be in the wedding party of anyone who writes, "But it's different if your not in the wedding party." Get a fucking education, lady.

It's not reasonable at all. You don't get to monopolize 10 peoples' lives for the better part of a year just because of your wedding... ESPECIALLY if you're putting on onus on THEM to shell out the cash for all of the expenses involved (three interstate trips, gowns, fittings, gifts and footing the bills for several parties).

On the other hand, if the bride were the one footing the bill for all of this, then yeah, absolutely no problem with her being a dictator.

 

[JimKiler]

That's actually sort of reasonable. It's better to ask people up front if they can afford the time and money to take part, rather than assume so and have them get sticker shock.

That said, I wouldn't be in the wedding party of anyone who writes, "But it's different if your not in the wedding party." Get a fucking education, lady.

It is reasonable that if someone in the wedding party cannot make a party that they should be kicked off the wedding party? I disagree and the wedding party is doing the bride and groom a favor by being in the wedding and spending hundreds on outfits.

 

[JimKiler]

Sounds fine to me, for the most part.. She's sending this to her friends.

I've seen way too many weddings fall apart from idiotic bridesmaids.

I am guessing the number of friends she has decreases because of this email.

 

[SagaLore]

It sounds like she may have a large friend circle that is flaky.

 

[SandEagle]

i feel bad for Jake.

 

[yllus]

It's not reasonable at all. You don't get to monopolize 10 peoples' lives for the better part of a year just because of your wedding... ESPECIALLY if you're putting on onus on THEM to shell out the cash for all of the expenses involved (three interstate trips, gowns, fittings, gifts and footing the bills for several parties).

On the other hand, if the bride were the one footing the bill for all of this, then yeah, absolutely no problem with her being a dictator.

It is reasonable that if someone in the wedding party cannot make a party that they should be kicked off the wedding party? I disagree and the wedding party is doing the bride and groom a favor by being in the wedding and spending hundreds on outfits.

If she's planning like 13 different wedding related events it's unreasonable, but I think this illustrates what this woman is trying to ensure doesn't happen:

Melissa Scanlan…

I dunno, I sort of wish I'd been this big of a bitch with my bridesmaids. Had I been, I probably wouldn't have been stuck forking over $400 for my bachelorette party because four of my bridesmaids bailed two days before we were supposed to go to Napa (they were told of the trip at least six months before) and I wouldn't have had to buy one girl her dress because even though I'd decided on dresses nine months prior, she still couldn't find time to go buy it. Bridesmaids are the worst.

MegSwan

I'm not good friends with any selfish bitches so most of these haven't applied to my experiences as a bridesmaid. However, my experience IS that I'm going to be shelling out at least $1,000 for this "honor." Every time like clockwork. I haven't had to purchase a dress for less than $300. A dress I'll never wear again. I seriously don't know how I would have done it if I were still in the poor stage of my life.

For better or worse, most weddings today are outrageously expensive, even for people merely in the wedding party. Getting that out in the open on day one is way better than implicit expectations that your friends will come up with four figures to attend your various events.

 

[drebo]

Wow that bitch is dumb. She needs to learn to write.

Also, she's a bitch.

 

[sigurros81]

That's actually sort of reasonable. It's better to ask people up front if they can afford the time and money to take part, rather than assume so and have them get sticker shock.

That said, I wouldn't be in the wedding party of anyone who writes, "But it's different if your not in the wedding party." Get a fucking education, lady.

Edit: "Seeee ya" for someone taking 2-3 days to respond to an e-mail is not reasonable.

Is it being reasonable, or being a wise and beautiful woman? Because in life, there's a nice and civil way to go about things and still respect your loving friends, or be like this bitch. But you probably don't know much about being social and civil.

 

[torpid]

Not reasonable. She expects them to shell out at least $1000 (probably more like $2000 depending on where they live relative to the bride) between all of the events and the dress, and if they aren't willing to do all of that without aid then suddenly they are no longer important people in her life.

Also, why does she give a flying fuck whether her 10 bridesmaids show up to a damn bridal show? That is moronic.

Edit: Ahh... she just sucks at typing and meant bridal shower.

 

[Krazy4Real]

She'll be divorced in 5 years.

 

[Jeeebus]

As a certified Grammar Nazi, I could never marry this woman.

 

[JimKiler]

If she's planning like 13 different wedding related events it's unreasonable, but I think this illustrates what this woman is trying to ensure doesn't happen:





For better or worse, most weddings today are outrageously expensive, even for people merely in the wedding party. Getting that out in the open on day one is way better than implicit expectations that your friends will come up with four figures to attend your various events.

Yes, expectations need to be set but that does not mean you get to dictate every detail. I will say that everyone tends to go overboard in demands of guests at their wedding. My wife did it, insisting on a limo to set the tone of the wedding party or some crap like that. And her and I wanted her dad to get his hair cut and asked him to, which was out of line. I am sure he would have cleaned up his hair regardless.

As a society are we are accepting of people and their faults except when it they are in a wedding?

 

[yllus]

Is it being reasonable, or being a wise and beautiful woman? Because in life, there's a nice and civil way to go about things and still respect your loving friends, or be like this bitch. But you probably don't know much about being social and civil.

I'm certainly past the point in my life where I randomly insinuate that other people don't know anything about being social and civil. You may want to think about where you are in your life if you're 31 years old and still doing that.

 

[MisterJackson]

i feel bad for Jake.

Yeah, this.

 

[yllus]

As a society are we are accepting of people and their faults except when it they are in a wedding?

That probably zeroes in on it exactly. We give carte blanche for people to be psychotic where there wedding is concerned. And since there's so much money to be made in weddings, popular culture encourages it as much as possible.

Personally, my wedding is scheduled to have 7 people attend a civil ceremony, and we'll simply have a dinner that I will be paying for afterwards for about 30 of our friends and family. Making a procession out of these things makes me uncomfortable.

 

[ManBearPig]

"Also if you accept this honor..." lol

 

[waggy]

Not reasonable. She expects them to shell out at least $1000 (probably more like $2000 depending on where they live relative to the bride) between all of the events and the dress, and if they aren't willing to do all of that without aid then suddenly they are no longer important people in her life.

Also, why does she give a flying fuck whether her 10 bridesmaids show up to a damn bridal show? That is moronic.

Edit: Ahh... she just sucks at typing and meant bridal shower.

well duh. witch is why she is letting them know up front and if they can't afford it to pass.

i understand and agree with her.

I do think she is going overboard on her wedding. its more then just about her. its about having the people you love and are close to around. not who looks best in a dress and is willing to shell out the money.

planning a huge wedding to have people drop out late because of funds throws the whole thing in chaos. it sounds like she is trying to avoid that (though going about it without a tiny fraction of tact)

 

[kranky]

I think the "10" refers to bridemaids + groomsmen. Probably 5 on each side. Nobody has 10 bridesmaids, not even the worst Bridezilla.

And I bet it's going to cost more than $1000-2000 to be her special friend. It implies 3 plane trips and a dress (not a $25 dress, mind you). Hotel + meals @ each venue. Plus the subtle mention of "contribute to the bachelorette party" which is in Vegas. The reason she keeps saying you better have the money is that she's planning on doing everything 4-star, so once they accept, nobody will dare question any of the related expenses later. But she's not going to tell them now what it's going to cost.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

I'm kinda siding with yllus on this one. Yeah, she's pretty frank and hard-lined, but knowing how flaky girls can be it might be necessary to ensure that expectations are met.

Having said that, if it were me I'd take a pass on being in the wedding party.

 

[blackdogdeek]

need pics of elbows before rendering opinion.

and this:

As a certified Grammar Nazi, I could never marry this woman.

 

[mugs]

I want to see someone put a [sic] in everytime [sic] she misspelled a word.

I think the "10" refers to bridemaids + groomsmen. Probably 5 on each side. Nobody has 10 bridesmaids, not even the worst Bridezilla.

I've seen it before, and I think she did. She did say she "picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand with [her]."

What's amazing to me is that she has enough backups to fill in for the smart ones who say they can't do it.

 

[waggy]

I think the "10" refers to bridemaids + groomsmen. Probably 5 on each side. Nobody has 10 bridesmaids, not even the worst Bridezilla.

And I bet it's going to cost more than $1000-2000 to be her special friend. It implies 3 plane trips and a dress (not a $25 dress, mind you). Hotel + meals @ each venue. Plus the subtle mention of "contribute to the bachelorette party" which is in Vegas. The reason she keeps saying you better have the money is that she's planning on doing everything 4-star, so once they accept, nobody will dare question any of the related expenses later. But she's not going to tell them now what it's going to cost.

I think if by reading that letter you don't get the idea that it's going to cost at least $2000 you are out of your mind. She tries to get the point across that if you can't afford it don't agree.

also i bet it cost more then 2k. with everything she talks about its going to add up.

big wedding like it sounds like she is planning seem to be a total waste of money. It does not make the marriage stronger, it does not make that day any more "special". all it seems to do is add stress. from paying for it to making sure everything goes perfect.

fuck that.