Bride becomes dictator in letter to bridesmaids

[jagec]

I think the "10" refers to bridemaids + groomsmen. Probably 5 on each side. Nobody has 10 bridesmaids, not even the worst Bridezilla.

"I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side..."

And you're right about her doing everything 4-star, it sounds like she wants to go all-out. 10 bridesmaids, WTF. No one has 10 friends that are that close (AND willing to throw down thousands of dollars and give up months of their free time), so a few of them are bound to be acquaintances that secretly hate her.

 

[SunnyD]

So nobody picked up on this yet?

A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone.

I don't know about you all, but I sure as hell don't plan my YEAR in advance.

 

[waggy]

So nobody picked up on this yet?



I don't know about you all, but I sure as hell don't plan my YEAR in advance.

yeah that part is pretty insane and to be honest the only part i thought she went over board on.

It's none of her business what my other plans are. Also who knows what will come up? She needs to give out the dates for he parties and i will block them off. to ask anything else is insane.

I sure in the hell wouldn't give her my plans for the next year..lol

 

[kranky]

She did say she "picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand with [her]."

Holy crap, you're right. I missed that. I will be amazed if she can get 10 women to "accept this honor" given the conditions.

"Hey, Mary, this is Christine. Christine Smith. From Springfield High, remember? I sat three people behind you in Science our sophomore year? Remember when my science project fell over when we were setting up for the science fair? Yeah, that Christine. Been a long time, I know. So listen, are you still a size 6? 'Cause I was wondering if you were free next Saturday. I'm getting married and one of my entourage, um, I mean bridesmaids, got meningitis without my permission and I need someone to stand in for her so we don't have an unbalanced lineup. It's going to be the most epic wedding ever! Hello? Hello?"

 

[PingSpike]

Being in the wedding party sucks anyway. I say she's done everyone a favor by offering them a list of possible excuses to use to avoid having a job at a party.

 

[sigurros81]

I'm certainly past the point in my life where I randomly insinuate that other people don't know anything about being social and civil. You may want to think about where you are in your life if you're 31 years old and still doing that.

Who's insinuating? You sound just as bad as this bridezilla.

 

[torpid]

well duh. witch is why she is letting them know up front and if they can't afford it to pass.

i understand and agree with her.

I think it is polite to let them know about the events you will have and to expect no financial help. However, it is absurd to tell some of your very best friends in life that you don't want them standing up for you if they can't make every single party you are going to host for yourself or if they aren't willing to shell out $2000+ for your wedding.

 

[sandorski]

Protip: Unless you're part of the Royal Family, elope. Your Marriage is just not that important for this level of nonsense.

 

[yllus]

I think it is polite to let them know about the events you will have and to expect no financial help. However, it is absurd to tell some of your very best friends in life that you don't want them standing up for you if they can't make every single party you are going to host for yourself or if they aren't willing to shell out $2000+ for your wedding.

The way she's phrasing it, I think we're talking $4000+ here.

 

[rasczak]

I'd tell the bitch to fuck off and never call me again. I'd also tell Jake that she slept with his brother.

 

[torpid]

The way she's phrasing it, I think we're talking $4000+ here.

Probably correct but I was being conservative.

 

[Rumpltzer]

i feel bad for Jake.

You KNOW that this chick has got to be hot as hell.

Jake knows what he's signing up for. Whether he'll be able to tolerate it... that'll be the test.

 

[bigrash]

What a crazy bride. I would opt out of the wedding party.

 

[sixone]

Unbelievable. I would tell this woman i will be a bridesmaid or groomsman and then not show to anything.

http://gawker.com/5948725/reasons-why-you-cannot-be-a-bridesmaid

I cannot wait till her identity gets outed so she can get the internet roast she deserves. C U Next Tuesday lady!

Her friends already have a pretty good idea who she is, so this letter probably won't come as much of a surprise to them.

If you find it offensive, don't be her friend. An "internet roast" isn't necessary.

 

[JimKiler]

Being in the wedding party sucks anyway. I say she's done everyone a favor by offering them a list of possible excuses to use to avoid having a job at a party.

VERY TRUE!

So nobody picked up on this yet?

I don't know about you all, but I sure as hell don't plan my YEAR in advance.

She is setting expectations but what happens if you have a funeral to attend and it happens to be during one of the parties, her contract, i mean requirements, do not address this kind of situation. Or what if your flight is delayed due to a snowstorm?

I think it is polite to let them know about the events you will have and to expect no financial help. However, it is absurd to tell some of your very best friends in life that you don't want them standing up for you if they can't make every single party you are going to host for yourself or if they aren't willing to shell out $2000+ for your wedding.

+1

Maybe this bride-to-be is realistic and picked 10 bridesmaids knowing 8 or 9 of them with enough self esteem will walk away thus giving her the one or two bridesmaids she needs.

 

[waggy]

I think it is polite to let them know about the events you will have and to expect no financial help. However, it is absurd to tell some of your very best friends in life that you don't want them standing up for you if they can't make every single party you are going to host for yourself or if they aren't willing to shell out $2000+ for your wedding.

shrug. its her day. that is all she is looking at.

is she wrong to do it that way? while lacking tact if that is what she wants for HER wedding then more power to her. I for one would laugh about it and pass up that oputurnity. But then i have been best man on a stressful wedding like hers and it is not worth it.

 

[JimKiler]

You KNOW that this chick has got to be hot as hell.

Jake knows what he's signing up for. Whether he'll be able to tolerate it... that'll be the test.

Very true, she must have hot woman syndrome where normal people do not say no to her because she is too damn good looking. This would never happen if she was obese or even average in looks.

 

[JimKiler]

shrug. its her day. that is all she is looking at.

is she wrong to do it that way? while lacking tact if that is what she wants for HER wedding then more power to her. I for one would laugh about it and pass up that oputurnity. But then i have been best man on a stressful wedding like hers and it is not worth it.

Miss out on a wedding that is sure to have this bridezilla end up in tears over every little thing that goes wrong. I would not miss it!

 

[SunnyD]

She is setting expectations but what happens if you have a funeral to attend and it happens to be during one of the parties, her contract, i mean requirements, do not address this kind of situation. Or what if your flight is delayed due to a snowstorm?

Exactly. And worse yet, what happens if you make it to the first few events, fittings, parties, etc. Sink thousands of dollars into flights, dresses, "gifts", etc. Then all of a sudden you have that one emergency where you can't make that one little event? This bitch just cost you several thousand dollars and countless amounts of your time with no recompense? I think not. That's just plain selfish of her to even consider this as remotely okay.

 

[Wonderful Pork]

So nobody picked up on this yet?



I don't know about you all, but I sure as hell don't plan my YEAR in advance.

I plan major trips/vacations/graduations etc 6 months to a year in advance, especially if I have to coordinate multiple schedules. My college buddies and I meet up once a year, and we schedule it 8-12 months in advance when we are certain we can block off the time since we don't have other plans.

From her POV, she has to coordinate 20+ calendars to pick dates that everybody can attend because (in her mind, however misguided) everybody needs to attend. Heck at work to schedule a 1 hour meeting with 20+ people needs at least 2 weeks heads up, let alone plan a "perfect" wedding & associated events.

Not saying I agree with her tone, etc but I can understand the logic.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Seems borderline to me.

On the one hand, I think weddings are totally out of hand these days. Traveling all over the country for six months in preparation for a wedding is totally nuts. And she is putting some pretty strict demands on her bridesmaids. Telling them to set aside so much time and then telling them they're out of the wedding party if they're unable to make even just one party is unreasonable.

On the other hand, it's smart to be up front about this stuff. If she can afford a huge wedding and her friends can afford to do all this and want to, who am I to judge? Maybe this is a rich girl with rich friends and that's just the kind of stuff they do. And by telling everyone far in advance that things are going to be expensive, it gives them an out. However, I think if she can afford to splurge this much on her wedding, she ought to be willing to cover or at least help out with the expenses of the bridesmaids. I mean we're talking about multiple plane flights, hotel stays, probably ridiculously expensive dresses, etc. If you can afford a $50,000 wedding then you can afford to help your friends.

The biggest problem I foresee with this is that her bridesmaids, even though they were given ample warning that it will be time consuming and expensive, will not back out even if they want to. They'd feel too guilty about hurting the bride's feelings, instead going along with things, pretending everything's find, but letting the silent resentment build up until it leads to an explosion of drama.

The bride ought to have a 1-on-1 sit down with each and every bridesmaid to really drive home the kind of commitment this is and the expenses involved, and give each one a really big window of opportunity to back out now instead of waiting until the last minute.

 

[crashtestdummy]

Yikes. I'm glad I'm not the one marrying this woman. The two things that bother me the most is the insistence that every member of the party show for everything (even though that appears to be a lot of travel) and the "if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding" comment. I have friends across a wide swath of income. I wouldn't dream of having a wedding that explicitly excluded some of my closest friends because they couldn't spend a ton of money.

I got married this summer. The wedding had 200 people. All the wedding party (chuppah holders, katubah signers, etc.) had to do was be at the wedding. My wife went down to NYC for a weekend with some of the ladies and I had some beers on a local mountain with the guys the night before. I would never have demanded they travel pre-wedding or insisted on a dress code.

I don't get some people.

Edit: I will agree with Six that I can't imagine this is out of character for the bride. I'm sure most of these bridesmaids are at least sympathetic to this attitude.

 

[KeithTalent]

Poor Jake.

KT

 

[jagec]

Yikes. I'm glad I'm the one marrying this woman.
...
I got married this summer.

Wow, does she know you're already married?

 

[crashtestdummy]

Wow, does she know you're already married?

Hah. Fixed.