When constructing a Smurf house, it's important to remember that not all is what it may first appear to be in the world of Hanna-barbera, and this holds true with Smurf home construction.
The first thing you're going to want to do is shrink yourself down to aproximately 2 inches tall. If you're ghey and can't shrink yourself like I can, then you're going to want to go to a hobby shop and invest in a good magnifying lense, scalpel, tweezers, camel hair brush, and any oil based paints you would like to use for the roof and interior of your Smurfy home (I recommend red and white for the roof and beige for the outside walls.) If you pwn like Justin Libby pwns you will have shrunk a chain saw, hammer and nails, and a paint brush (you can use the hobby shop paints still... just make sure to set them next to the mushroom you decide on with the caps off and a miniaturized ladder next to them so you can use them at your new height.)
For the gheys out there, once you have your materials and future Smurf house selected, you're going to want to start by removing the roof (mushroom cap) of your new home using your scalpel. The reason for this is because as you're ghey, and not 2 inches tall, there would be no way for you to possibly see into your home or work on it without removing the roof.
Now that the roof is off, you'll want to go ahead and clear out the room (mushroom stalk)... Smurf homes only come as Studios, sorry, anything more than a single studio would be far to luxurious to be considered Smurfy.
After the room is cleared, you're going to want to cut yourself a minimum of one window a door, and a hole in the roof for a chimney. You'll also want to find some small pebles to pile together to create a fire place. Use your tweezers as necessary to place or remove items around the room. When cutting your door don't cut the entire way through the wall (skin) at the hinge area. Since you're the ghey and not small enough to make the precision cuts and hinges necessary, you'll just have to have a slightly less Smurfy house than your neighbors. Don't worry, they're too busy being Smurfy to judge you for being ghey and well over 2 inches tall. When all the required cuts have been made stack up the pebles for the fire place and chimney and place the roof back onto the house. Continue your chimney until it clears the roof by a minimum of 1/4 of an inch... You wouldn't want to piss off the Smurf Home Owners Association by not building a house to fire specs.
If you're the pwnage like me, and you've shrunken yourself to 2 inches and have everything else set up it's time to begin the fun. We're going to do everything that the gheys did, but instead of being the lameness like them, we're going to use a chain saw for just about everything; it's Smurfy being a Smurf! Go ahead and just cut a door anywhere you want in the wall of your newly acquired home and let it fall to the ground. Once you get it moved out of the way feel free to go Leather Face on the interior of your home by swinging your chain saw wildly about. Not only will this create your living space, but it is also great fun, hence it's Smurfy. *NOTE* While in the throws of Smurfdom and wildly swinging your chain saw, don't be surprised if Smurfs should linger around your home and cheer you on... Their Smurf Cheer will increase your stamina and speed. Should you attract Builder Smurf and Helper Smurf's attention, building time will be reduced to 1/2. Once the interior is cleared you'll want to cut a window so that you can see all the neighbors. Notice that all windows are facing Smurfet's home. No matter which direction you thought your window was going to look, it will end up looking at Smurfet's home. Chalk this up to wild coincedence. Now use one of your small ladders to access the roof and cut a hole through for your chimney. Once this is done it will be time to gather pebles and arrange them around the area under the chimney hole. At this point you might want to consider taking a break and letting others do the hard part. Ask for a Smurfy beverage to help pass the time while you supervise. After the fire place and chimney are completed through your work or that of your neighbors, it will be time to paint your home.
I recomend keeping the outside within the Smurf Home Owners Association's guidelines, which is a solid base color for the walls and no more than 2 colors for the roof. On the roof you'll want to keep it "natural" looking, so a base color and then circles or rings in another color works well.
You're almost done and on your way to being Smurfy. The only thing standing between you and Smurfdom is that door.
Cut delicate notches into the area you want the hinges to be on both the door and wall. Now find a stiff piece of river reed and use it as a central hinge shaft.
Smurfulations, your home is now completed! Now lounge in your home, drink some Smurfy drinks and gaze out your window at Smurfet's house. If you're ghey you can't do this.
The first thing you're going to want to do is shrink yourself down to aproximately 2 inches tall. If you're ghey and can't shrink yourself like I can, then you're going to want to go to a hobby shop and invest in a good magnifying lense, scalpel, tweezers, camel hair brush, and any oil based paints you would like to use for the roof and interior of your Smurfy home (I recommend red and white for the roof and beige for the outside walls.) If you pwn like Justin Libby pwns you will have shrunk a chain saw, hammer and nails, and a paint brush (you can use the hobby shop paints still... just make sure to set them next to the mushroom you decide on with the caps off and a miniaturized ladder next to them so you can use them at your new height.)
For the gheys out there, once you have your materials and future Smurf house selected, you're going to want to start by removing the roof (mushroom cap) of your new home using your scalpel. The reason for this is because as you're ghey, and not 2 inches tall, there would be no way for you to possibly see into your home or work on it without removing the roof.
Now that the roof is off, you'll want to go ahead and clear out the room (mushroom stalk)... Smurf homes only come as Studios, sorry, anything more than a single studio would be far to luxurious to be considered Smurfy.
After the room is cleared, you're going to want to cut yourself a minimum of one window a door, and a hole in the roof for a chimney. You'll also want to find some small pebles to pile together to create a fire place. Use your tweezers as necessary to place or remove items around the room. When cutting your door don't cut the entire way through the wall (skin) at the hinge area. Since you're the ghey and not small enough to make the precision cuts and hinges necessary, you'll just have to have a slightly less Smurfy house than your neighbors. Don't worry, they're too busy being Smurfy to judge you for being ghey and well over 2 inches tall. When all the required cuts have been made stack up the pebles for the fire place and chimney and place the roof back onto the house. Continue your chimney until it clears the roof by a minimum of 1/4 of an inch... You wouldn't want to piss off the Smurf Home Owners Association by not building a house to fire specs.
If you're the pwnage like me, and you've shrunken yourself to 2 inches and have everything else set up it's time to begin the fun. We're going to do everything that the gheys did, but instead of being the lameness like them, we're going to use a chain saw for just about everything; it's Smurfy being a Smurf! Go ahead and just cut a door anywhere you want in the wall of your newly acquired home and let it fall to the ground. Once you get it moved out of the way feel free to go Leather Face on the interior of your home by swinging your chain saw wildly about. Not only will this create your living space, but it is also great fun, hence it's Smurfy. *NOTE* While in the throws of Smurfdom and wildly swinging your chain saw, don't be surprised if Smurfs should linger around your home and cheer you on... Their Smurf Cheer will increase your stamina and speed. Should you attract Builder Smurf and Helper Smurf's attention, building time will be reduced to 1/2. Once the interior is cleared you'll want to cut a window so that you can see all the neighbors. Notice that all windows are facing Smurfet's home. No matter which direction you thought your window was going to look, it will end up looking at Smurfet's home. Chalk this up to wild coincedence. Now use one of your small ladders to access the roof and cut a hole through for your chimney. Once this is done it will be time to gather pebles and arrange them around the area under the chimney hole. At this point you might want to consider taking a break and letting others do the hard part. Ask for a Smurfy beverage to help pass the time while you supervise. After the fire place and chimney are completed through your work or that of your neighbors, it will be time to paint your home.
I recomend keeping the outside within the Smurf Home Owners Association's guidelines, which is a solid base color for the walls and no more than 2 colors for the roof. On the roof you'll want to keep it "natural" looking, so a base color and then circles or rings in another color works well.
You're almost done and on your way to being Smurfy. The only thing standing between you and Smurfdom is that door.
Cut delicate notches into the area you want the hinges to be on both the door and wall. Now find a stiff piece of river reed and use it as a central hinge shaft.
Smurfulations, your home is now completed! Now lounge in your home, drink some Smurfy drinks and gaze out your window at Smurfet's house. If you're ghey you can't do this.