buying an engagement ring

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
Jeebus...

Ok... here is my philosophy on engagement rings: Don't spend $5k. The E-ring I got for my fiance was about $950. It was very pretty and she absolutely loves it. It had a 1/4 carat diamond on a white gold band with tuquoise inlays. (She loves turquoise)

Call me cheap if you want... But I believe that if your woman says yes and then complains about the ring you bought her (within reason... don't give her something you won at the state fair at the bb gun stand) then her priorities are way out of whack.

Help me out women... was it the ring that made you say yes or was it the man asking?

What's more, why would you want to start your lives together that deep in debt? Get her a nice, smaller ring... something that everyone will know is an engagement ring but won't leave you thousands of dollars in debt. You can always replace it with something better after you get your lives a little more established and money is less of a concern. For now, save the money you would have spent on a trinket and put that towards a new house.

Just my $.02

I completely agree with you. And for me, of course the ring had nothing to do with getting married. Hell, I didn't even get an 'engagement' ring until we had been married for almost 12 years (and the ring is beautiful and was a SMALL FRACTION of what he's proposing to pay.)

If a 5k engagement ring is really so important to the girl that she won't say yes, or she won't love him as much or she'll be embarrassed, then there are much more important issues in the relationship (that need to be worked out) than the ring.

 

[rgwalt]

Why are you buying the wrap right now? If you get engaged, how soon will you be married? I'd wait on the wrap, since the wrap is essentially the wedding band. That will save you some money right now.

Also, check with Helzberg's about financing in the store. I know they offer at least 12 months, no interest financing.

It sounds like, to me, that you need to get the exact specs on the diamond, the mount, the wrap, etc. It sounds like your GF picked out the ring, the wrap, etc, and has told you what she wants. While that takes all the work off of your shoulders, it means that she might not be buying the best ring for the money and it means that you will get screwed on the price.

Go to the Helzberg's and write down all the info on the ring (mounting, metal, wrap, stone). Particularly on the stone, make sure you get info on the shape and quality of cut, the color grade, the clarity grade, and the exact carat size. Then take a look at Nice Ice and read up on the 4C's. After that, take a look at Price Scope. Use their diamond price search tools to look up compariable stones and get an idea of what the diamond is *really* worth.

Helzberg's will always over charge you. There is overhead associated with running their store. They have several "collections" as well. Their main collection consists of standard, retail grade diamonds of varying qualities. They have a collection called Radiant Star, which are round diamonds with extra facets to make them more "sparkly". The extra facets tend to confuse the eye and obscure inclusions, so they tend to pass off I quality diamonds as good stones in this collection. Finally, they have their diamond masterpiece collection, which they claim to be perfect or near perfect cut stones.

You need to lay eyes on the stone itself and look at it through a loop. Then you need to ask for the diamond grading report. For that price, the diamond should be certified by an independent lab. The two best labs are AGS and GIA, however it is doubtful that Helzberg's has any stones certified by those labs. Reason being is that less reputable labs will give higher grades to stones than GIA or AGS. My guess is that their stones are mainly graded by IGI, EGL, etc.

This all being said, a near perfect cut round brilliant diamond that is 0.7 carats, VS1 in clarity, and F in color should run you around $2500 to $3000.

Do your research and don't get ripped off. If you are set on buying the ring your GF picked out, then at least put off the wrap (it is the wedding band), and look into getting no interest financing from Helzberg's.

R

 

[AbsolutDealage]

Originally posted by: fLum0x

Originally posted by: MrChad

Originally posted by: fLum0x
where did you get your ring from? helzberg is basically the only place i have been outside of prestons rocks (and i wasnt impressed with it)

Price one out on bluenile.com. Their prices tend to be a little high; you can probably get a better deal locally if you shop around.

a .75 carat VS1 clarity with E color is like $2100 on there. that is cheaper...but it is still more than a $2,000 ring that you all are talking about.

E color is a waste. D-E-F have no bang for the buck... look for G-H-I, which are naked eye imperceptable from colorless stones and still look excellent on white gold / platinum. If you're going yellow gold you could even push that further if you wanted. Also, I would look VS2 to save you a little more cash, or find an SI diamond that has no naked eye inclusions.

Having said that, I spent a lot on my wife's engagement ring, but I had a bunch saved up, and I had very little living expenses at the time. I borrowed a good chunk from my parents, but that was payed off well before the wedding came around. I wouldn't have done it any other way, because I knew what I wanted to get her and I didn't want to compromise. It's all up to you.... you have to play the balancing act with your budget and your (her) desires.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: jpeyton
The price that the jeweler gave you for the diamond is irrelevent; get a GIA or AGS certificate for it (any reputable jeweler selling a diamond for that price will have it certified), and find out a little more about the stone. Then compare it to stones you can buy at places like DirtCheapDiamonds or SuperbCert. There are other reputable diamond dealers online; I recommend looking at the DiamondTalk Forums and becoming a little more knowledgable about diamond quality before you plunk down a huge amount of money on one.

What do you mean she "registered" at Helzberg? Did she pick out the exact ring already? If so, you're screwed; you might as well buy it right now. On the other hand, if she just told you what kind of ring she would like (from a design standpoint), you can definitely get a better deal from a private jeweler (not a big chain like Helzberg), or online.

And FYI, the cut of the diamond matters infinitely more than the exact color or clarity (many people can't tell the difference between a colorless and a near-colorless, or notice imperfections that can only be seen with a jeweler's loupe). The cut is what defines a diamonds light refraction, or luster. An ideal or super ideal cut diamond will not only catch her eye a lot more, they will also appear bigger in size.

I bought a single .5 carat ideal cut center stone (VVS2, I), and two matching .25 carat ideal cut side stones (VVS2, I), plus a white gold setting, for under $2000. I may have had a price advantage because my fiance wanted a three-stone ring, and 1 carat in three stones is cheaper than a 1 carat solitaire. But because the stones were all idea cut (AGS 000), they appear noticeably bigger than their carat size gives away.

I'll add to this by saying this... the difference between a 0.75 carat diamond and a 1 carat diamond, both of which are ideal cut, is about a half a millimeter in the diameter of the stone.

R

 

[TXHokie]

I spent 3 months studying about diamonds and went to hunt for that perfect rock with the perfect cut. I learned all I wanted to know about diamonds during that time (forgot it all now beside the 4Cs since it's been so long but I was just being anal if I was to fork out a couple grand for a rock, I want to know I got the goods). Should see the looks on the sales guy when I asked for the magnifying eyepiece and spent a couple minutes to look over the cut of the rocks...they thought I was an expert or something. The way I see it, I'm happy knowing got my wife a very nice rock/ring and she knows the effort that goes into it. So now if she asks why do I have to get that 1080p HDTV vs something else that cost half as much, I tell her to look at her finger and tell her I could've spent half as much and got twice the carat size but didn't.

 

[IBuyUFO]

Originally posted by: fLum0x

Originally posted by: IBuyUFO

Originally posted by: fLum0x
the ring is between .5-.75 carats and the diamond alone is about $2,500.

how do you figure with a ring and the wrap (that is what she wants) that you can do it for that cheap? Given, we are talking about a near flawless diamond basically. no noticable specs or discoloration.

WTF??? 0.5-0.75 carats for $2.5k?? When I bought my ring it was total with side stones about 1.6 to 1.8 carats. It cost me like $5,600+ dollars. The center stone alone was around 1.2 carats and it was a D, VS diamond.

where did you get your ring from? helzberg is basically the only place i have been outside of prestons rocks (and i wasnt impressed with it)

I got my ring from a diamond broker that my wife knew. We actually went in together to get it. She picked out the setting for the ring which ended up being platinum and all I did was pay. No sweat, no worries whether she would like it or not.

I spent almost $6k for the ring but don't go buying into it because some guy spent that much for one. You should not spend more than you can afford. If you spend more than you can afford from here on out you'll end up in trouble. You'll have debt up to your neck and a lot of marriage breakup occurs because of money issues. So my advice is to spend within your means. Buy something you can afford now and you can surprise her with something bigger or better later on. But then again maybe she's one of those sensible girls who see a diamond as just a rock and nothing more. Good luck to you.

 

[Rumpltzer]

I spent about 3 months researching the diamond/ring for my wife. It was fun for me.

My first advice would be to take a look at the inventory and prices at http://www.bluenile.com/. Compare what you're getting at Helzberg, and you'll probably be able to afford more at BlueNile with the 90% you have in hand.

For instance, I mounted my diamond in a 5-prong platinum band with rounded edges (for comfort) for something like $350. I think I read that your mount is going to cost like $800? That seems like a lot to me, but maybe yours isn't as simple as what Blue Nile offers.

BlueNile has free FedEx shipping and you'll probably save on sales tax. My ring was assembled and at my door in about 8 days. It comes in a very nice wooden box inside a cardboard gift box, and it all looks pretty classy. I liked being able to pick my own diamond, I like that the diamond is certified, and I got exactly what I wanted.

I also used a bank transfer to pay for the ring (rather than collecting credit card miles). Blue Nile gave me some small percentage discount for doing this, and it ended up saving me >$50 (even with the $25 transfer fee from my bank).


My last bit of advice would be to take what you read here with a grain of salt. I've noticed that a lot of bitterness seems to come seeping out of the ATOT forum when the topic of engagement rings comes up...

 

[xtknight]

Does she like you or does she like the ring? Just something to think about. I don't mean that offensively at all. I just don't think it's worth it (especially if you can't afford it) when it won't make that much difference.

 

[IBuyUFO]

Originally posted by: xtknight
Does she like you or does she like the ring? Just something to think about. I don't mean that offensively at all. I just don't think it's worth it (especially if you can't afford it) when it won't make that much difference.

If she likes the ring she'll like him more cause he gave her the ring that she likes. haha j/k. I had to do it!

 

[fLum0x]

Originally posted by: jpeyton
The price that the jeweler gave you for the diamond is irrelevent; get a GIA or AGS certificate for it (any reputable jeweler selling a diamond for that price will have it certified), and find out a little more about the stone. Then compare it to stones you can buy at places like DirtCheapDiamonds or SuperbCert. There are other reputable diamond dealers online; I recommend looking at the DiamondTalk Forums and becoming a little more knowledgable about diamond quality before you plunk down a huge amount of money on one.

What do you mean she "registered" at Helzberg? Did she pick out the exact ring already? If so, you're screwed; you might as well buy it right now. On the other hand, if she just told you what kind of ring she would like (from a design standpoint), you can definitely get a better deal from a private jeweler (not a big chain like Helzberg), or online.

And FYI, the cut of the diamond matters infinitely more than the exact color or clarity (many people can't tell the difference between a colorless and a near-colorless, or notice imperfections that can only be seen with a jeweler's loupe). The cut is what defines a diamonds light refraction, or luster. An ideal or super ideal cut diamond will not only catch her eye a lot more, they will also appear bigger in size.

I bought a single .5 carat ideal cut center stone (VVS2, I), and two matching .25 carat ideal cut side stones (VVS2, I), plus a white gold setting, for under $2000. I may have had a price advantage because my fiance wanted a three-stone ring, and 1 carat in three stones is cheaper than a 1 carat solitaire. But because the stones were all idea cut (AGS 000), they appear noticeably bigger than their carat size gives away.

by "registered", i mean she picked out the exact ring

 

[sourceninja]

My wife's engagement ring was 500.00. She LOVED it.

 

[ch33zw1z]

The jewelery store i bought my wifes from offered a credit card w/ no interest for 12 months...thats the only way i could afford it. plus it builds ur credit. since u already have most of the cash, you will be able to pay it off quick.

 

[J0hnny]

Originally posted by: AbsolutDealage
E color is a waste. D-E-F have no bang for the buck... look for G-H-I, which are naked eye imperceptable from colorless stones and still look excellent on white gold / platinum. If you're going yellow gold you could even push that further if you wanted. Also, I would look VS2 to save you a little more cash, or find an SI diamond that has no naked eye inclusions.

Having said that, I spent a lot on my wife's engagement ring, but I had a bunch saved up, and I had very little living expenses at the time. I borrowed a good chunk from my parents, but that was payed off well before the wedding came around. I wouldn't have done it any other way, because I knew what I wanted to get her and I didn't want to compromise. It's all up to you.... you have to play the balancing act with your budget and your (her) desires.

I agree with Absolut. I bought a 3.08 carat round brilliant (H color, SI1) and the diamond looked no different than a E color VS1. I also paid more than 20K of course.

The E-ring I bought was very expensive, but I could afford it and I know what it means to my girl. She can be very materialistic from time to time but to get the OOMPH factor, you have to buy big. You should see the look of jealousy from other girls. Her diamond is 9.3mm in diameter... basically 1cm. It's almost bigger than her ring finger...

 

[cjmtfd102401]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: fLum0x

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy
How much is this ring you are looking at?

well, here is more info. the ring is give or take 5k (i think) and my credit limit is only 1500 right now since i just got a new card. now, would you put 1500 on the card and pay it in that next month and loan the other 3.5?

Jeebus...

Ok... here is my philosophy on engagement rings: Don't spend $5k. The E-ring I got for my fiance was about $950. It was very pretty and she absolutely loves it. It had a 1/4 carat diamond on a white gold band with tuquoise inlays. (She loves turquoise)

Call me cheap if you want... But I believe that if your woman says yes and then complains about the ring you bought her (within reason... don't give her something you won at the state fair at the bb gun stand) then her priorities are way out of whack.

Help me out women... was it the ring that made you say yes or was it the man asking?

What's more, why would you want to start your lives together that deep in debt? Get her a nice, smaller ring... something that everyone will know is an engagement ring but won't leave you thousands of dollars in debt. You can always replace it with something better after you get your lives a little more established and money is less of a concern. For now, save the money you would have spent on a trinket and put that towards a new house.

Just my $.02

It was him asking me. Like I have said before my fiance got mine at a pawn shop and I love it. I didn't not wanting him spending thousands of dollars when we simply could not afford that. With the money he saved on the ring that can go towards our honeymoon or house.

 

[timswim78]

Look for a used one on Craigslist (rings don't hold their resale value well). If you find one that you like, ask the seller to go to a jewelry store with you to have it appraised. (Which won't cost a ton of money).

BAM, you just doubled your purchasing power, because used rings sell for about half of what new rings go for.

Have it polished and sized, and it will look like new!

 

[NanoStuff]

Buy her a Geforce 7950GX2. I sure as hell would like that more than a ring, and think of the savings. Nothing says I love you like a high performance video card.

 

[wfn]

bluenile.com or uniondiamond.com - both have great inventories and rare cuts like the asscher etc.

to me there's no trick to buying a ring you can afford, that's what almost everybody does. since i'm extravagant and not at all calculated when it comes to my loved ones i bought her the ring i imagined she would love and decided to worry about the expense later.

i started researching about 2 months in advance and my final purchase came from bluenile.

 

[jpeyton]

Originally posted by: fLum0x
by "registered", i mean she picked out the exact ring

Is the setting a common one? You may be able to find the exact setting online in that case. If it's not a common setting, you can ask Helzberg to place a lower priced diamond in the setting, or just buy the setting from them outright and get the diamond elsewhere.

 

[monkey3ddd]

I bought my wife's eng ring at blue nile. I know I got a good deal, whenever a jeweler sees it they go gaga, "Where did you get this? It's beautiful"

The total was 4700 or so, with platinum setting.

It was appraised for insurance for more than twice what I paid.

 

[R Nilla]

Originally posted by: monkey3ddd

It was appraised for insurance for more than twice what I paid.

:Q nice!

 

[thegimp03]

Well, my cousin is getting married next month. They had decided up front that since they're both doing graduate school, they wanted to save money and thus not spend as much on a ring at first. So, they agreed to buy a platinum wedding band, but a fake diamond. At first glance, I thought the diamond was real, though I'm definitely not an expert. She said that a couple years down the line when they can afford it, he will buy her a real diamond. Heck, look at it another way, if she cares that much about a ring, maybe you should evaluate whether or not you want to propose.

My parents did somewhat the same thing. When my dad first proposed he didn't have the money to buy a "OOOH" factor ring so he bought a cheaper ring. A few years later he upgraded.

 

[sash1]

coming from my girlfriend, you don't want to start a marriage off in debt. though she also said she wouldn't accept any ring below 2 ct.

seriously, ask family for the money. a loan for a ring makes no sense. and don't buy it if you can't afford it.

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: R Nilla

Originally posted by: monkey3ddd

It was appraised for insurance for more than twice what I paid.

:Q nice!

Pretty much all end up like that. That doesn't mean you have a chance of selling it at that price, though.

My parents did somewhat the same thing. When my dad first proposed he didn't have the money to buy a "OOOH" factor ring so he bought a cheaper ring. A few years later he upgraded.

That's what I did.

 

[Koing]

Very few things are worth getting in to debt for. A ring is definately not on that list.

Get a cheaper ring. $5k is a lot for a ring.

My dad bought my mum a relatively cheap ring but my mum is one of the least materialistic women you will ever meet.

I think less then 10% of the worlds diamon are bigger then 1.0c in size.

Koing

 

[DaShen]

If she loves you, she will understand if you get a cheap stone on the ring. Just promise her, if she wants it by then, that when you do have the money you will replace it.

Get a manufactured diamond though (cheaper as well). Don't support third world dictators or De Beer's (3 month salary on a diamond :roll:... All fabricated marketting drivel)