Buying house with girlfriend

[GasX]

Does your significant other suffer from Estrogen poisoning? If so, the red flags are up.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

What magical thing happens when two people buy a house backed by a marriage license vs. two people who aren't?

It's still a place to live. It's still two sentient beings with free will to do as they choose. It's still possibly two incomes with a disparity that have to be overcome in court later on.

 

[oznerol]

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

I'd be treating the purchase of the home as a "business arrangement" - not the entire relationship.

There would be a legal contract between the two of us - not entirely different than if we were married. It would just be tied directly to the ownership of the home and not our entire estates.

If you're asking those things for financial reasons - we can afford - though barely - the home on a single income. We're both educated professionals. She makes more than I do, actually. I have more savings, though - as I'm a year older and have less student loans.

The biggest issue would be if we broke up - but that's the whole point of why I am asking. Just because something inconvenient happens doesn't mean I'm going to flip a shit. We're still in a relationship, after all.

 

[moshquerade]

it could work, but of course, you are taking a chance.

i say if it feels right do it. it's not a choice anyone here is going to make for you.l

 

[bobdole369]

My friend did this - lived with the girl for nearly 5 years beforehand. She paid the mortgage, he got the bills - I actually rented a room from them for about 2 years.

Long story short - I ended up in a courtroom as a witness for the defense (my friend) - while his ex-girlfriend sued him and won the house. He ended up in jail several years later for something else. His downward spiral started when his GF cheated on him and I unwittingly found the evidence and let him know cuz bro's before ho's and all.

I would get married first - at least then its included in divorce proceedings as opposed to a simple lawsuit where the victor is chosen by less evidence and red-tape than divorce.

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

What magical thing happens when two people buy a house backed by a marriage license vs. two people who aren't?

It's still a place to live. It's still two sentient beings with free will to do as they choose. It's still possibly two incomes with a disparity that have to be overcome in court later on.

It's the up front intentions or commitment that matter. Entering into this planning on later court dates doesn't bode well for a romantic relationship.

 

[DVad3r]

Get married to her already.

 

[MrMatt]

I'd only worry about whose name would be on the deed. Maybe draw up some sort of legal contract for the invent of a breakup? A pre-prenup?

 

[oznerol]

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

What magical thing happens when two people buy a house backed by a marriage license vs. two people who aren't?

It's still a place to live. It's still two sentient beings with free will to do as they choose. It's still possibly two incomes with a disparity that have to be overcome in court later on.

It's the up front intentions or commitment that matter. Entering into this planning on later court dates doesn't bode well for a romantic relationship.

You clearly haven't been in a 7-year relationship.

 

[rh71]

We did this. We were together for 6 years when we bought a house together. You are probably the only one who could tell of your gf's tendencies. How likely, if ever, she would be to stray. Same for yourself. I know people always say you don't fully know someone, but I don't believe that is true with significant others you've been with for many years. If you've lasted that long as bf/gf, it could be considered a marriage already and the chances of splitting are exactly the same.

So the negatives of buying a house together are also the same - so long as you have plans to marry, it's the right choice in my opinion.

Today, 11 years later, we still split most things 50/50 with a joint account and don't think twice about it.

 

[Zolty]

The only way this isn't crazy is if you word it like one of you is buying a house and the other is renting. That way when you break up everything is already set.

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: ducci

Originally posted by: seemingly random

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: seemingly random
What if she gets pregnant and wants to stay home?
What if she (or you) gets terribly sick or injured and can't work?
What if she (or you) wants to provide shelter for a family member?

Maybe a duplex should be considered.

And again...how is it different if they were married and these came up?

In a business arrangement, is one expected to care for a sick partner or house his mother?

I'd be treating the purchase of the home as a "business arrangement" - not the entire relationship.

There would be a legal contract between the two of us - not entirely different than if we were married. It would just be tied directly to the ownership of the home and not our entire estates.

If you're asking those things for financial reasons - we can afford - though barely - the home on a single income. We're both educated professionals. She makes more than I do, actually. I have more savings, though - as I'm a year older and have less student loans.

The biggest issue would be if we broke up - but that's the whole point of why I am asking. Just because something inconvenient happens doesn't mean I'm going to flip a shit. We're still in a relationship, after all.

Ok. I guess there are all sorts of relationships and whatever works for you is what you should do and be happy with. The things to consider in the posts here is pretty exhaustive and should give you plenty to think about.

I wish you well.

 

[sutahz]

Is there some kind of 'pre-nup' but of course, w/o the nuptials?

Why must he marry her? marriage is just paying the gov't to say you are a couple. Loving and caring for someone is all that really matters.

 

[Kirby]

Madness.

 

[tk149]

If you approach it as a business deal, and have a written contract over the ownership and eventual sale, then fine. Remember to include what happens if someone can't afford his/her share of the mortgage/utilities/taxes/whatever.

The trouble with this is that you are emotionally involved and this is where you will live. Bad things can happen when emotions are involved, and you won't be able to get away from it.

What happens to the house if you break up? Do you both continue to pay the bills, and who has to move out? Do you sell right there and then, possibly accepting an offer below market value, or do you both agree to wait xx months for a better offer? Meanwhile, you get to hear her with her new boyfriend getting hot and heavy every night.

In a divorce, the courts tend to split things 50-50, regardless of proportion of income.

In a breakup (non-marriage), the court will split things according to your contract. You'd better have something better than "he said, she said."

 

[zinfamous]

generally a bad idea. But if you've been together for so long, no complications, nothing coming up in the future that will force a major move and separation...then why not?

still probably stupid, though.

I mean, unless it's just business.

 

[Rachael]

I don't think it's necessarily as bad an idea as some of the people here are making it out to be. You have to be very sure that you want to stay with this person in the long term- that's what it comes down to. Whether or not you're actually married, to me that matters less than the level of commitment you share with one another. If your purchase of the house before marriage has to do with the timing of things (the house presenting itself now, etc) rather than you two actually not wanting to commit to one another, then I don't see a problem with it. My boyfriend and I may actually end up doing the same thing after graduation due to the current housing market, again not because I'm not planning to get married but just because that's not something that we've gotten to yet, while this is an opportunity presenting itself now rather than later. Make sure to think it over, but it seems like a reasonable situation to me!

 

[kami333]

Originally posted by: sutahz
Is there some kind of 'pre-nup' but of course, w/o the nuptials?

Why must he marry her? marriage is just paying the gov't to say you are a couple. Loving and caring for someone is all that really matters.

Depending on your tax brackets, it could work out to be thousands a year.

 

[SagaLore]

Get married first, then buy house.

If you don't want to get married, then don't mix your finances.

 

[summit]

Too risky.

 

[Chaotic42]

Don't do it. I've got a coworker who did that and let's just say I think he regrets it.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: ducci
Neither of us mind signing documentation as if it were any business deal.

Do this down to the smallest detail, if possible. To preserve your relationship, you need to separate it completely from this business enterprise, and to approach this business dealing as though you were complete strangers.

You may be presently unable to imagine a situation where either of you would need the written down, spelled out "what happens if" protections you agree to and sign, but that's not the point.

The point is, they will be there if you need them. Legal protection is not there for what you expect to happen, it's there for what you don't expect to happen, and it's there to protect BOTH of you.

Don't stint on this. And, hey, best of luck and enjoy! :thumbsup:

 

[PricklyPete]

If you guys intend on getting married soon...I don't see an issue with it. One of my friends did it...and got engaged less than a year later. They are happily married. If you have no idea if she is the right person for you (or she is not sure about you)...then walk away from that idea.