You've presented a compelling argument, and I respect everything you wrote. I also respectfully disagree on a few points.
One, respect is absolutely an American value, especially respect towards those who serve. Memorial Day. Veteran's Day. The Wounded Warrior Project. The parade in Manhattan after the Gulf War, one of my most vivid memories as a kid growing up in NY. I don't support forced or jingoistic respect. Most veterans I know don't expect recognition. But respect is absolutely an American value, perhaps not a core value enshrined in our Constitution, but a value nonetheless.
Memorial Day is a post-civil war holiday. Veteran's Day is a post-WW1 holiday. WWP is formed 2003. The Bill of Rights was written in 1789. Respect is ancillary to the principles upon which the nation was founded. Nationalism took a back seat to principles as well, or this country wouldn't exist. There is no special group in this country that is free from criticism and no group that deserves respect at the cost of our civil liberties. This military primacy, or militarism, and nationalism is a more recent phenomenon. We didn't have this as a national anthem until 1931 and the pledge of allegiance was made official in 1942. For most of our history, we did just fine without always having to show deference to nationalism and militarism.
My biggest concern, after reviewing social media, is that people feel that the flag represents the military and not vice versa. Military primacy is not healthy for a democracy. Military participation should be seen as an unfortunate necessity required to preserve our principles, not that highest duty one can serve for the nation state.
This isn't to belittle anyone for serving, it's to say that the flag and the country belongs to all of us. We can't silence people because it might offend some "protected" class. I feel this way about kneeling, and I feel this way about the Berkeley protests (only Trump never called the speakers there a "son of a bitch").
Two, as a veteran I have NO PROBLEM with people taking knees or protesting systemic racism in this country. I also have NO PROBLEM with people voicing an opinion that doing so is disrespectful to veterans in certain venues. Even veterans are fairly split on this topic. Anyone using the broader race conversation to silence the latter doesn't understand our nation's values and is similarly part of the problem.
I don't think people have a problem with you saying it's disrespectful in as much as you have the right to voice that opinion. I disagree with that view as the flag belongs to those players as much as it belongs to soldiers or anyone else. I'm scared by the fact that so many people think standing should be a requirement as forcing citizens to submit to militarism or nationalism is a very dangerous path.
Third, as a nation, we've been talking about this for as long as I've been alive. The Rodney King verdict and subsequent riots were also a significant event of my childhood. What's meaningfully changed since then?
Less than probably should've.
And I am sorry, but I think it is reasonable to question anyone making $20M a year complaining about systemic oppression.
Why? Yes, these people have "made it" in the sense that they get paid a lot of money to do what they do but it doesn't mean that they haven't overcome barriers that authorities unfairly imposed upon them. It also doesn't mean that they aren't standing for oppressed people who don't make millions of dollars and who don't have a national stage upon which to speak. Should wealthy Americans not have spoken out against slavery? Should they have remained silent during the civil rights movement?
So what will fix it. As a veteran, I am sure you respect the need for training. The solution is fairly clear to me:
1. The demilitarization of our police
2. Investments in non lethal tactical weapons
3. Decriminalization of non violent drug use
4. Community outreach
5. Extensive training in how to de-escalate situations. Almost every police shooting is due to their losing control of the situation.
6. Recruiting so that the police are reflective of the communities they serve
7. Gun buy back programs to get weapons off the streets
8. Investment in mentoring programs so that kids get off the streets and have positive role models. Kind of along the lines of what Snoop Dogg has done in Long Beach with the SYFL.
9. Integrated busing so that kids from low income neighborhoods get access to the almost private school quality resources in affluent neighborhoods.
10. Increased low income housing and paths to ownership in good communities
Anything that demilitarizes the police is good imo, and I agree with ending the ineffective war on drugs. I actually agree with all of your recommendations.
Feel free to add to the list. Having spent the majority of my life in blue states, what I have found is that white people love to talk about race, but Nimbyism kicks in hardcore once its time to do something about it.
I have found that as well, and it's a shame.