Originally posted by: chusteczka
If you develop a professional skill and keep your mind focused on that subject, then you never need to worry about inane small talk. Develop your intelligence, stay focused on your craft, and you do not need to waste your time with those who have nothing better to talk about.
People greet me all the time with "Hi, how ya doin'?". They are not listening for an answer and I do not answer them. I just say "Hello" in return and keep going about my business. This provides people the message that I am focused on my job. They can talk to me all they like about technical issues and questions, just do not waste my time with useless banter. I greatly enjoy the look of frustration on those pompous business people who are all fluff with no substance when I ignore their useless conversational habits. After a few times, they learn that their typical fake, front end, approach does not affect me and they stick to a smile and a hello like any other normal person.
I remember when I was young, somebody told me that I had to pay attention to sports so I would have something to discuss with people. That seemed like a waste of time to me and I figure if I need to follow sports (or even current social media pop art junk) then those were the people I did not want to talk to. Give me an intelligent conversation and I am involved, just do not waste my time on the useless small talk. Some people enjoy such talk, some do not. It is not a big deal.
That professional skill that I mentioned can be anything you like. It can be computers, engineering, math, accounting, economics, finance, anthropology, or art. It can be anything in which you can develop a professional and technical skill. Even sales will work if you want to focus on the technical aspect of the job, rather than the "people person" small talk.
I'd been told that, too. What it effectively meant to me was, "Learn about something you really don't give a damn about."
I can see it now:
"What's your favorite sports team?"
"Oh, I can't stand sports, I just memorize all the latest goings-on so that I have conversation material. I find sports to be quite dull."
"......."
Maybe not done so bluntly, but if I had no genuine interest in sports or pop culture, it would surely show in conversation. It might be a better idea for other people to become less infatuated with those things, and focus their attentions on science or math-related fields, no? Then we'd all have something to talk about, right? Oh wait, this double-edged sword only swings one way. Right.
I've found that I can work with people perfectly well, but if the conversation deviates considerably from the job at hand, I tend to kind of phase out, and stay focused in my little world of the task to be completed. It's just wearing on me to constantly be around people; this semester's been
loads of fun because all of my classes have lots of groupwork, which is generally just a pain in the ass because trying to find available times in everyone's schedule can be nearly impossible. That, and it can turn a 12hr day into a 14hr day, simply because the only available time is after everyone's last class ends at 8pm on a few days of the week.
That's something else then to consider - can you be "social" enough to at least work in a group? If you can do that effectively, I think that'll be most of what's needed in a working environment. Nothing says you have to go out to the bar with everyone else once you clock out. Through the years at school, my report cards often said "Works well in groups" - I can do that, and in many cases, I'll find myself in a position of leading the group, if only because I'm either the only one who really knows what's going on, or else the only one who's at all concerned with getting a good grade. But once the work is done, that's about it. I don't "hang out" then with everyone in my various groups; we meet for the assignment, and that's it. I'm not unpleasant or anything like that; maybe a bit formal, but then, that's just how I am, at least in mannerisms (certainly not in terms of dress code. Formal attire - blech).