Cat is dying - need advice re: putting him down

[Doppel]

Should I do it without telling my wife? Or should I involve her in the decision?

I put one down recently. In this one's case medication did drag its life out several months and it started putting on weight again, but eventually as with a person you're fighting a losing battle. It's better to put it down when it can still enjoy being held, move around, etc. before lying in a bath of its own shit and vomit. If the vet cannot give it a 180 with medication, steroids and whatever else they do, put it down.

If you put this down without telling your wife because you think she'll drag it out you deserve to have your penis cut off in your sleep.

 

[Doppel]

How immature and idiotic.

It was, not his reaction, but what they did. I hope they profusely apologized for that. I imagine there were confounding circumstances, but based on his very short piece, it was out of their place to do that. Coming back from a trip while your probably ill pet has been dead and nobody told you is disgusting.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Sorry to hear about your cat. I know you weren't there with the vet but what are the odds of the medication improving your cat's health and giving him a good quality of life?

When I thought I had to put my first dog down, I first went home and was given several medications and if in a couple of days, things did not improve, to come in and have her put to sleep. To my astonishment, her condition improved dramatically and she had a good six more months of a high quality of life. Six additional months that I'm very happy to have had.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

According to my wife the vet said the meds "likely would not work," but "were a reasonable thing to try" before "making a really tough decision." My wife interpreted that as "you should try the medication." My interpretation is different, as you can probably tell.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Sounds like its time to bring the cat in. I recently went through this about three years ago. Cats simply won't eat when they don't feel good. Its going to be a challenge over the next few months. You will have to fight with the cat every single day. If the doc said 3 more months even with the treatment it sounds like now is the time do it.

I agree. It seems silly/cruel to drag this on. Case in point - I put my cat down on the floor last night after I went to bed (he can't jump up or down anymore), and he is still there now. Hasn't moved an inch.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

put him down.

had a 20 year old cat with pnemonia. kept hoping he'd get over it for a couple weeks. decided enough was enough and drove him to the vet. he wretched and died on the way, which was the worst possible outcome...

It sucks terribly, but you aren't doing anybody any favors by waiting.

Agreed. my cat had pneumonia three weeks ago, but antibiotics took care of it quick. Unfortunately the underlying cause was heart disease, which we didn't know about.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Whatever you do involve the family even if it upsets them. They will be far more upset if you handle this situation without them.

My wife and I went on vacation and her Parents were watching our dog. We came home and they told us the dog was put down the day after we left and they didn't want to ruin our trip by telling us. Fuck vacation I would have given anything to be there with him at the end.

They robbed us of the chance to say goodbye to him and for that I hate them and I do mean full on hate. So, don't try and be heroic and save them from the situation.

(the night we left he started whining non stop and shitting uncontrollably. Took him to the vet and they found a tumor the size of a fist had grown around his large intestine near his anus and blocked him up for weeks if not months. They put him down on the spot.)

Sorry to hear about what you went through. If someone else made the decision for me, I would be upset too. This is my cat so I ultimately have the decision. The only one I have to worry about is my wife. My kids are too young (4 and 1) to understand, and I would rather that they think Monroe ran away or something than to find him dead on the floor.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

If you put this down without telling your wife because you think she'll drag it out you deserve to have your penis cut off in your sleep.[/QUOTE]

That is a bit . . . extreme to say the least.

My wife understands my views, and generally agrees with them. But she will never be able to "pull the trigger" as it were on putting the cat down. She doesn't have that in her, and that is ok. I'm not the utterly insensitive prick you seem to think I am.

 

[Kreon]

I fear the day that we have to put my cat down (well, I guess she's more my parents cat now, since I don't live there anymore). She's a tough cookie though. Turned 19 last month, and only has arthritis and some controlled kidney and thyroid issues. Still hunts too. But I know the day is coming, within the next few years.

I was ~6 when my best friend's cat died. I basically lived there (they were day-care since infancy while my parents worked). We were told the cat was no longer suffering and in pain, and that it was OK to be sad. I think my best friend's mom also brought God into it, but that's a choice for you. Overall, we took it rough, but obviously we got better. I would say that you break it to your kid, preferably while keeping it together. My mom always broke news to me in complete histrionics, and that always made things harder, even now in my 20s.

Losing a pet sucks, you have my sympathy.

 

[highland145]

According to my wife the vet said the meds "likely would not work," but "were a reasonable thing to try" before "making a really tough decision." My wife interpreted that as "you should try the medication." My interpretation is different, as you can probably tell.

The vet said xxxx.
She heard yyyy.
Or the vet is going for the $$.

 

[darkewaffle]

Whatever you do, do not have the cat put down without giving your family the option to be there.

With an upside of only three months and the medication probably not being cheap, I'd probably side with you.

 

[utahraptor]

How much does the medication cost? If the vet said maybe 2 normal months and 3 months to live if it works ask if you can purchase one month at a time. I think a one month good bye period may be worth it at least for your wife.

Also when the time comes, please stay in the room to comfort the cat when it passes. Can you imagine how scary it would be for it if you left it before the injection? Maybe this would be a good time to cash in some vacation or personal time to take a week to spend with the cat.

 

[surfsatwerk]

This isn't about the cat, it's about your wife. The cat's going to die regardless. Do the right thing by your wife even if you think it's a bad idea.

 

[boomer6447]

I just had to put one of my dogs down last week...I would have given anything to have him around and semi-normal for 2 months...

That being said, let your wife make the call. And please don't show resentment whatever she decides. If she leaves the decision to you, then so be it.

It sucks...best of luck to both of you.

 

[Linflas]

This isn't about the cat, it's about your wife. The cat's going to die regardless. Do the right thing by your wife even if you think it's a bad idea.

No it is about the cat. If the cat's life is extended and it is miserable and in pain during that time then the best thing to do is make the hard choice and put him down. I am sure that if his wife understands that she will make the right decision. On the other hand if giving the cat meds will allow it a good quality of life for some months then that is not a bad choice if you can afford the meds and deal with pilling a cat. As for pilling the cat go to PetSmart and get a pill shooter. Have the pill(s) in it and ready to go and one of you grab the cat while the other uses the pill shooter to give it the meds. It is not that bad, have the vet trim his claws to make it easier for you until you get used to it.

 

[surfsatwerk]

No it is about the cat. If the cat's life is extended and it is miserable and in pain during that time then the best thing to do is make the hard choice and put him down. I am sure that if his wife understands that she will make the right decision. On the other hand if giving the cat meds will allow it a good quality of life for some months then that is not a bad choice if you can afford the meds and deal with pilling a cat. As for pilling the cat go to PetSmart and get a pill shooter. Have the pill(s) in it and ready to go and one of you grab the cat while the other uses the pill shooter to give it the meds. It is not that bad, have the vet trim his claws to make it easier for you until you get used to it.

You aren't wrong. Truth of the matter is I'd rather give the cat pills and let it be miserable for a while so that my wife gets on board with putting it down, than force the issue and have her feel I killed the cat.

 

[bignateyk]

Whatever you do involve the family even if it upsets them. They will be far more upset if you handle this situation without them.

My wife and I went on vacation and her Parents were watching our dog. We came home and they told us the dog was put down the day after we left and they didn't want to ruin our trip by telling us. Fuck vacation I would have given anything to be there with him at the end.

They robbed us of the chance to say goodbye to him and for that I hate them and I do mean full on hate. So, don't try and be heroic and save them from the situation.

(the night we left he started whining non stop and shitting uncontrollably. Took him to the vet and they found a tumor the size of a fist had grown around his large intestine near his anus and blocked him up for weeks if not months. They put him down on the spot.)

So you wanted your dog to be in agony for another day while you came back from vacation to say bye to him?

 

[JM Aggie08]

Whatever you do involve the family even if it upsets them. They will be far more upset if you handle this situation without them.

My wife and I went on vacation and her Parents were watching our dog. We came home and they told us the dog was put down the day after we left and they didn't want to ruin our trip by telling us. Fuck vacation I would have given anything to be there with him at the end.

They robbed us of the chance to say goodbye to him and for that I hate them and I do mean full on hate. So, don't try and be heroic and save them from the situation.

(the night we left he started whining non stop and shitting uncontrollably. Took him to the vet and they found a tumor the size of a fist had grown around his large intestine near his anus and blocked him up for weeks if not months. They put him down on the spot.)

1) Dog is on death bed while you're away.
2) In-laws consult vet and decide to put him down since it's the humane thing to do at that point.
3) Butthurt you now 'hates' your in-laws because they wouldn't wait for you to put down your dog that was clearly in agony.

Wat.

 

[Genx87]

I am going through this with my cat right now. She has lost about 3 pounds from her peak. She has arthritis develiping in her hips and back. What is happening is she is already clumsy, probably overcompensating, and then misses a bed and falls backward hurting her back legs. The first instance of this happened in Jan and when we found out abotu the arthritis. That one was easy to get over. Steroids + pain meds and she was back within a few days. But the last one I thought she was literally going to die.

So now we are on a regime os dasequin to help alleviate long term inflamation. I give it to her in a syringe because she needs the full dose every day. It is kind of comical as I mix it with water she comes up looking for food. The second she see's the syringe she tries to run. She is pretty good about it though. Opens her mouth and takes the med. Then she gets a treat.

But I am fully realizing the time is coming quicker than anticipated that a hard decision will have to be made.

I would definately include your wife in the process. Also, there are options for it to be done in your home. So the cat isnt under any other discomfort due to traveling or being in a foreign place.

 

[slightlyhuman]

hate these threads but i wish you the best i have a great dane that's 3 yo(half way through his expiration imo) and it devastates me thinking i'll have to do the same thing one day.


:heart;

 

[DrPizza]

OP, I'd make the decision based on the quality of life for those couple of months. If the cat is going to be suffering and this merely keeps it alive, then the humane thing is to euthanize the cat. But, if it'll perk right back up, and other than the pills, feel fine, then I'd probably stick it out until the medicine seemed to be losing effectiveness.


If you and the wife DO decide on euthanasia, and you want a replacement cat, I'll happily give you my wife's beloved cat. Or, I have a cute little black and white kitten that's about 9 weeks old. I'll be about 20 miles from the Conn border this weekend.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Spoke with my wife this morning and we jointly decided to have Monroe put down today. He is absolutely miserable and has no prognosis of recovery. There is no sense is putting him through 2 months of hell for our sake (not his sake). Poor cat didn't move a muscle for almost 4 hours this morning, until my 1 year old started chasing him before we could pull her away.

One of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life, that is for sure.

Oh, and fuck heart failure. Second time I've had to deal with it in one year.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

If you and the wife DO decide on euthanasia, and you want a replacement cat, I'll happily give you my wife's beloved cat. Or, I have a cute little black and white kitten that's about 9 weeks old. I'll be about 20 miles from the Conn border this weekend.

Thanks for the offer, but I think we are going to pass. I loved my cat dearly, but am not eager to replace him with another cat. At least not yet. My wife still has her female cat (Ellie), and for the time being that is the only pet I want in the house.

 

[Sonikku]

Euthanasia. It is the only way.

 

[rasczak]

Spoke with my wife this morning and we jointly decided to have Monroe put down today. He is absolutely miserable and has no prognosis of recovery. There is no sense is putting him through 2 months of hell for our sake (not his sake). Poor cat didn't move a muscle for almost 4 hours this morning, until my 1 year old started chasing him before we could pull her away.

One of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life, that is for sure.

Oh, and fuck heart failure. Second time I've had to deal with it in one year.

You are doing right by him. It is one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make as well. I wish you the best.

 

[bignateyk]

You could pony up tens of thousands of dollars for open heart surgery on your cat:

http://biomed.brown.edu/Courses/BI108/2006-108websites/group06organreplinanimals/feline.htm