Cat splats fat bat...rats!

[Fritzo]

This is Snookers. He's a black, 6-toed, pain in the ass.

I don't like him, and he doesn't like me. The only reason we have him is my no-cat law got vetoed 3-1 by the other members of the household (much like the President, I have no real power).

Snookers was outside last night and showed up at our back door. I opened the door to let him in, he looked at me for a second as to say "Hold on a minute bro..", ran out to the lawn for a moment, and then streaked into the house.

He immediately ran behind our recliner and started meowing like crazy. I thought he might be hungry, so I did the same thing I do every time the cat needs fed: yell "SOMEONE FEED YOUR DAMNED CAT!".

My wife opened a can of cat food, which normally gets him running to the kitchen, but this time he kept dancing around and continued meowing. I looked behind the recliner, and he had some kind of furry mass in his mouth. I yelled "DROP IT!" and Snookers took off, leaving THIS BEHIND D: :

Yes, it's a dead bat. The cat was PISSED when I picked it up and put it in a bag, and threw it out...he was jumping up at the bag, trying to get into the garbage can, giving me "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???" looks ....

I hate that cat.

 

[sixone]

10/10

 

[Aaviel]

+1, would read again.

 

[vi edit]

It's a funny story...but to be serious for a second, bats are major carriers of rabies. Keep it in a plastic container in the fridge for a few days to see how your cat is doing. They may need to do testing on it.

 

[Fritzo]

It's a funny story...but to be serious for a second, bats are major carriers of rabies. Keep it in a plastic container in the fridge for a few days to see how your cat is doing. They may need to do testing on it.

He's had his vaccines. That was $200 well spent...I guess.

 

[zanemoseley]

It's a funny story...but to be serious for a second, bats are major carriers of rabies. Keep it in a plastic container in the fridge for a few days to see how your cat is doing. They may need to do testing on it.

Fritzo, this might be an out for your Snookers situation. Get your hands on a diseased bat and give it to Snookers as a peace offering, little does Snookers know you'd be poisoning his little black ass.

 

[Raduque]

Who's recliner? Was this your recliner? He may have been trying to give you the bat as a peace offering.

Now that you've snubbed his message, he's going to really make your life miserable. Prepare yourself for vomit-filled shoes and shit inside your pillowcase.

 

[Fritzo]

Fritzo, this might be an out for your Snookers situation. Get your hands on a diseased bat and give it to Snookers as a peace offering, little does Snookers know you'd be poisoning his little black ass.

Who's recliner? Was this your recliner? He may have been trying to give you the bat as a peace offering.

Now that you've snubbed his message, he's going to really make your life miserable. Prepare yourself for vomit-filled shoes and shit inside your pillowcase.

Yes, it was my recliner, and no, it wasn't a peace offering. He wanted to sit his black, hairy ass on my leather Laz-y-Boy and gut that thing...probably while thinking "IT'S ALL MINE! I'M INVINCIBLE!!!"

 

[purbeast0]

yeah man cats HATE when you do that shit. i had to pry a bird from my cat years ago, and it was hissing the whole time.

one night it caught a mouse in our basement, and i was trying to pry it away and it was growling like shit at me. finally he said fuck it, and start munching on it and fucking ate the mouse and swallowed it. i will never forget the sound of the little guys bones crunching in his house.

 

[Pulsar]

My wife had a cat that sounds the polar opposite of yours. It loved everyone. It slept at the head of the bed right next to her and would purr her asleep every night. It was cute.

Then the cat started leaving gifts on her pillow. The cat, however, had a problem. She had lost all her teeth (she was very old) and had no front claws.

So once those presents of her were set down, they ran like hell down under the blankets. At 3 AM. In bed. With my wife.

I throughly enjoyed the shrieks the first couple times it happened. I miss that cat.

 

[Mixolydian]

That means he likes you. He's giving you a gift.

Although I don't think cats understand that humans do not appreciate those kinds of gifts. :hmm:

 

[CZroe]

A cat can rarely catch a bat that isn't sick. Bats also carry rabies. I'd watch yourtheir cat very closely going forward.

 

[Fritzo]

A cat can rarely catch a bat that isn't sick. Bats also carry rabies. I'd watch yourtheir cat very closely going forward.

We have pear trees in our back yard and they eat the pears laying on the ground.

 

[gorcorps]

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cats_actually_kill

 

[UncleWai]

Cat story bro!

 

[Azraele]

A cat can rarely catch a bat that isn't sick. Bats also carry rabies. I'd watch yourtheir cat very closely going forward.

Is the cat current on its rabies vaccine?

 

[Tormac]

Poor cat saved you from a vampire infestation you don't even let him keep the trophy!

If that cat of yours had not killed that thing your whole family might be going "Bleeh I vant to drink your blood" by now!

Go buy the little feller a cat nip mouse or something.

 

[zinfamous]

Poor cat saved you from a vampire infestation you don't even let him keep the trophy!

If that cat of yours had not killed that thing your whole family might be going "Bleeh I vant to drink your blood" by now!

Go buy the little feller a cat nip mouse or something.

The bat was the one eating all of th mosquitoes. Those things can eat a pound of mosquitoes every night.

why to go, Snookers, Fritzo's family is now more exposed to mosquitoes and thus malaria, yellow fever, and Guinean shaking fever.

 

[Tormac]

The bat was the one eating all of th mosquitoes. Those things can eat a pound of mosquitoes every night.

why to go, Snookers, Fritzo's family is now more exposed to mosquitoes and thus malaria, yellow fever, and Guinean shaking fever.

I'd rather have yellow fever that be an undead abomination!

It's hard to tell exactly from the picture, but I'm pretty sure that is a vampire.

 

[lxskllr]

A cat can rarely catch a bat that isn't sick. Bats also carry rabies. I'd watch yourtheir cat very closely going forward.

 

[SunnyD]

I vant to suck your blo... OH VUCK!

 

[SsupernovaE]

Cats really are the perfect killing machines!

 

[CZroe]

Bats that aren't sick rarely get stuck indoors.

 

[andylawcc]

+1, would read again.

this

 

[Fritzo]

I vant to suck your blo... OH VUCK!

And then the cat was all "Vampire? Well...I'm an UMPIRE!"