Chopsticks suck

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lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
57,981
8,220
126
spork > chopsticks > everything else

Sporks are an abomination; they do nothing well. The tines are large enough to allow rice to fall through, but aren't large enough to use it as an actual fork. I bet the retard that invented it is proud of himself though :^S
 

pcgeek11

Lifer
Jun 12, 2005
21,632
4,685
136
Post picture of you cutting into a steak with a dull piece of metal

Who said anything about using a DULL piece of metal to cut it? Civilized people use a nice sharp knife and a fork. Not a stick. I have never seen a sharp chop stick.
 

Eug

Lifer
Mar 11, 2000
23,807
1,385
126
Please post a picture of you cutting into a 20 oz steak with a dull piece of wood.

Why would you cut it?



Mind you I don't eat 20 oz steaks in the first place.

P.S. I believe the number 1 utensil in China outside the home is actually the spoon, at least it used to be when I was checking out what people were using in cafeterias. #2 were chopsticks. Nobody used forks or knives, except in western restaurants.
 
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Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,140
138
106
I'm fine with Chinese people using it all the time, but if you're white, and you ONLY eat Oriental cuisine with chopsticks and everything else with a fork, fuck you you pretentious douchebag.
 

Attic

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2010
4,282
2
76
I'm always more hungry when using chopsticks, I can't stuff my fast as fast with them as when i'm using a fork. I get angry at restaurants where people look happy and full eating with chopsticks.

Seriously, salad and noodles with chopsticks is torture.
 

Eug

Lifer
Mar 11, 2000
23,807
1,385
126
I'm always more hungry when using chopsticks, I can't stuff my fast as fast with them as when i'm using a fork. I get angry at restaurants where people look happy and full eating with chopsticks.

Seriously, salad and noodles with chopsticks is torture.
Where do you eat salad with chopsticks? Japanese restaurant in North America I guess?

Anyhoo, it sounds like you need more practice.

I'm fine with Chinese people using it all the time, but if you're white, and you ONLY eat Oriental cuisine with chopsticks and everything else with a fork, fuck you you pretentious douchebag.
I guess that means that 90% of white New Yorkers and Torontonians are pretentious douchbags.

I would beg to differ, but then again Texans and Albertans might agree.
 

Attic

Diamond Member
Jan 9, 2010
4,282
2
76
Where do you eat salad with chopsticks? Japanese restaurant in North America I guess?

Anyhoo, it sounds like you need more practice.

Whenever i'm tasked with reintroducing myself to chopsticks at a restaurant, for some reason it's the restaurant that to start brings out small wooden bowls filled with salad and thinly sliced carrots instead of bread rolls. The dressing is usually the bomb on these though.

More practice for sure, but I could also stand to lose some pounds so I could call it what it is, the chopsticks diet.
 

Jinny

Senior member
Feb 16, 2000
896
0
76
Who said anything about using a DULL piece of metal to cut it? Civilized people use a nice sharp knife and a fork. Not a stick. I have never seen a sharp chop stick.

Who said you can't cut the steak with a knife and pick up the pieces with a chopstick?
 
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Markbnj

Elite Member <br>Moderator Emeritus
Moderator
Sep 16, 2005
15,682
14
81
www.markbetz.net
Meh, they are a little bit of an affectation, but they don't suck. As someone mentioned above they are actually the best tool for eating sushi other than fingers. You aren't going to stab a fork in your nigiri, and try to shovel a slice of sashimi onto a spoon, are you?
 

PlanetJosh

Golden Member
May 6, 2013
1,814
143
106
I too think they must be superior people to able to use chop sticks so well. I know they were brought up using them and have a lot of practice but still.
 

WHAMPOM

Diamond Member
Feb 28, 2006
7,628
183
106
Why are Chinese people still using chopsticks? Are they too prideful to use the superior spoon and fork?

What is superior about spoons and forks? You too clumsy to use chop sticks? Must be why Asians are so good at manufacturing, practice. Look up the history. Off-flavors, unless you were rich and could afford gold or silver tableware as European Royalty used, iron flavored the food, wood did not.

Sticky rice, rolled and dipped in soup or sauce, what could be better?

edit: what gives you the idea they don't use spoons? knife and fork on the table, not gonna see them.
 
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Xellos2099

Platinum Member
Mar 8, 2005
2,277
13
81
Well fork is good and but but TRY eating a hot bowl of ramen with a metal fork. For ramen, chopstick >>>> fork
 

Imaginer

Diamond Member
Oct 15, 1999
8,076
1
0
In actuality, the only two utensils I really need, given the way I prepare meals, is chopsticks and those soup spoons for those soup dishes to drink soup (unless one empties mostly the bowl of food objects).

Rice can be shoveled, or if sticky enough, be picked up in clumps. A meal prepared with the stock sliced nicely from the first get go, doesn't need work to eat it, it is pick up and chew.

Cooking, from an Asian standpoint, the work is mostly done in preparation. With steaks, chicken leg quarters to cut, and other things, the cook expects the diner to cut these things themselves and the cook doesn't head the effort to slice them after cooking (or before - pending effort).

Even if there are some meats with the bone in, at least they are in pieces that allow manipulation of the chopstick to eat around the bone and manipulate the bone after being done. I am not sure about those damned Chinese stir-fry lobster pieces or stir-fry crab pieces though...

And, chopsticks (wooden ones - fuck slippery plastic coated ones and metal ones - which if you want to complain difficult, it would be THESE) are disposable or just as reusable if cared for. Also, obligatory DEX+1 increase in EXP.

I still keep around the typical forks, spoons, and knives.
 
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mikeford

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2001
5,671
160
106
When you have a limited amount of "food", everybody using chopsticks evens out how much each person gets.

Chopsticks are way handy for lots of stuff, but I don't care who looks at me funny, when I am ready to chow down I use a fork, with a few exceptions.
 

Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,140
138
106
I guess that means that 90% of white New Yorkers and Torontonians are pretentious douchbags.

Pretty much, yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with eating with chopsticks. :whiste:
 

PenguinPower

Platinum Member
Apr 15, 2002
2,538
15
81
I'm fine with Chinese people using it all the time, but if you're white, and you ONLY eat Oriental cuisine with chopsticks and everything else with a fork, fuck you you pretentious douchebag.

So, if I'm white and my spouse is "Oriental (Seriously. What century are you in?)" and I only eat "Oriental" cuisine at home with chopsticks, but enjoy using a knife and fork when I'm not required to, I am a pretentious douchebag? Cool.
 

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
166
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
Forks, spoons. Purpose: shoveling food into your mouth.

Chopsticks. Purpose: shoveling food into your mouth.

1 billion Chinese people, and virtually none of them have succeeded in shoveling enough food into their mouths to get fat. But there are a lot of American using forks and spoons who have successfully shoveled enough food into their mouths to get fat. Logically, chopsticks must be inferior. QED.
 

PenguinPower

Platinum Member
Apr 15, 2002
2,538
15
81
Forks, spoons. Purpose: shoveling food into your mouth.

Chopsticks. Purpose: shoveling food into your mouth.

1 billion Chinese people, and virtually none of them have succeeded in shoveling enough food into their mouths to get fat. But there are a lot of American using forks and spoons who have successfully shoveled enough food into their mouths to get fat. Logically, chopsticks must be inferior. QED.

I would assert that the foods that strongly correlate to obesity don't require utensils at all.
 
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