Christian and Athiest in the same house!

[xenocyd3]

why do atheists get so butthurt?

 

[thebigdude]

Step 1. Tell Jr. to respect his mother, something he should do regardless of her religious views since she did bring him into this world. He could have nicely told her he did not want to go to church.

Step 2. Understand that you and your son not going to church will ALWAYS bother her.

Step 3. Bite the bullet and go with your son to church once in awhile. I't won't kill you, just make you wake up early one day a week.

Alternate Step 3. Confront your wife in support of your son and calmly explain to her your viewpoints.

Step 4 (Which results from Alternate Step 3) Find a good divorce lawyer.


Sorry about your problem man,
there isn't really a good way to solve it

just a choice to be made as I see it

 

[SophalotJack]

I take it that nobody is as logical as I am.

Nobody advised to the OP that he should cut his losses with the fam and taek his saving and spend it on a loyal stripper and ride into the sunset?

Damn you all are f4ggot assholes. none of you have the OP's back except for me.

 

[BillyBatson]

both my parents raised my sister and i as christians, took us to church, taught us to pray before going to sleep every night but we both ended up athiests. I am 23 and she is 21. At around the age of 12 i stopped believing in god and was too lazy to pray before bed. At age 14 i knew that i would never again believe in god but didn't share this with my fam for several more years. My sister however continued to believe in god until about the age of 16, she did ask me at times if i really didn't and why but i always gave her vague answers as to not help form her own opinion based on mine. Our parents now deal with it, when something bad happens they go to church, easter, xmas, etc they go to church, last time i went to church it was for a mormon wedding and even then we aren't allowed inside lol

 

[Sunner]

My advice:
Convert your entire family and join us enlightened people:
The only true path

 

[Literati]

Originally posted by: JackBurton
Dude, it's Atheist. Let's at least get that right before we move on to solving the mysteries of the universe.

bwahahahahahaa

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
As some of you may know, I'm an athiest and my wife is Christian. We've always respected each others beliefs, and agreed to let the kids decide for themselves their own beliefs.

The past few years my 14 year old son has been leaning towards athiesm. I don't encourage it, but will answer questions as fairly as possible.

My 2.5 year old daughter has been going to church with my wife nearly every day (my wife does child care at her church for 2-3 hours per day). So my daughter's being thoroughly indoctrinated. I don't complain. She'll find her own way when she's old enough.

Well, lately my wife has been trying to get our son to go to church and participate in the teen ministry's events. Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

So last night my wife started yelling at me about his athiesm and how it's my fault. WTF? I asked, "How is that different than our daughter coming home singing Christian songs and you hanging Christian propaganda all over the house? Do you see any Darwin posters anywhere? Do you hear me quoting from athiest writings? YOU'RE the one pushing your beliefs on the kids."

It quickly became one of those times where she starts yelling and screaming and I sit there letting her vent before replying, then listening to more.

Anybody dealt with this before? Any suggestions?

CLIFFS:
I'm athiest, wife's Christian.
One child is becoming athiest and expressing it.
Wife blames me.

UPDATE:
Since there are so many replies, I'm going to post in here so they don't get buried.

My son has NEVER heard me speak a mean word about religion. I've been very careful about that. As I said, I want him to make his own choices. He went to church every week until he was 12 or so when he started trying to get out of it. I refused to pressure him about it, though my wife continued to do so. So he *has* experienced it. Even went on a campout with the church once.

Yes, he was being disrespectful. That has been dealt with. The reason I had to leave the room was because I didn't want to encourage that behaviour by laughing. I still think it's a great line, but it was inappropriate in context. That is all.

Those of you calling me names can kiss off. Just because I don't share your beliefs doesn't mean I'm any less of a father.

Anybody know where I can get some Darwin posters?

ANOTHER UPDATE:
I went ahead and posted this on a religous board. If anybody wants to see the totally different (right) path the post is taking: http://www.christiandiscussionforums.org/v/showthread.php?t=6633

Yes, that's CARM's board. I used to work with Matt in the 90's, haven't talked to him in a while, but thought I'd see what happened over there.

you two screwed up in that in your pre-marriage, pre-pregnancy talks you didn't decide how you would handle the kid's religous upbringing,would they go regularly to church ? till what age ?

I'm assuming your son is a high school freshman ? in the cathlic faith that's usually the age of holy confirmation, the ceromony at which the young adult freely confirms his faith
the catholic version of adulthood. I'd say at he's old enough to decide not to go.

Also,you need equal time in expressing your POV to BOTH kids, kids can't make informed choices without hearing from you as well.

 

[bluemax]

The Bible even warns people "unequally yoked" not to get married. Two animals pulling a plow, if one is not the same as the other, they'll injure each other and possibly the equipment. It's a recipe for disaster.

If she read her Bible more (in proper context, not just snippets) and practiced what she read, she'd have never hooked up with you.

If you love her and your family, you're going to have to come up with a better "compromise" than you have now. As it is, you've got two opposite factions, mutually exclusive, with your marriage license as a mere "cease fire" agreement.

YOU should have known better, too.

 

[engineereeyore]

Originally posted by: bluemax
The Bible even warns people "unequally yoked" not to get married. Two animals pulling a plow, if one is not the same as the other, they'll injure each other and possibly the equipment. It's a recipe for disaster.

If she read her Bible more (in proper context, not just snippets) and practiced what she read, she'd have never hooked up with you.

If you love her and your family, you're going to have to come up with a better "compromise" than you have now. As it is, you've got two opposite factions, mutually exclusive, with your marriage license as a mere "cease fire" agreement.

YOU should have known better, too.

I'm sorry, but WHAT???

1 Corinthians 7
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

 

[kmrivers]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

you two screwed up in that in your pre-marriage, pre-pregnancy talks you didn't decide how you would handle the kid's religous upbringing,would they go regularly to church ? till what age ?

I'm assuming your son is a high school freshman ? in the cathlic faith that's usually the age of holy confirmation, the ceromony at which the young adult freely confirms his faith
the catholic version of adulthood. I'd say at he's old enough to decide not to go.

Also,you need equal time in expressing your POV to BOTH kids, kids can't make informed choices without hearing from you as well.

If you read the first post he clearly stated that they decided to let the kids decide on their own.

Moving on, I would like to chime in on this. I haven't read everything here, so forgive me if i am making the same point as someone else.

FYI: These thoughts are personal to me, and in no way are they the end all be all, or me telling the OP what he should do.

I think what you and your wife are going through is fantastic. I think you getting married knowing full well the differences in religion is very noble. I feel it is completely healthy to show children that there are different religions and that making a personal choice is what matters. This would never happen in a Christian home. They are taken to church and told that this is the way, which i do no think is fair.

I am not christian. I am 22. I do not know what I am at this point or if I even need to say "I am this" which is what I am leaning toward. Even if I was Christian I still would not raise my children as christians.

I am not sure whether or not you son was rude or not. I think it depends on how he said it, which no one on these forums(except you, OP) would know. However, the fact that your son was able to say that shows that there is some level of openess in your family, which again I think is fantastic. Even if he did say it in a rude way, so what? He is voicing his opinion and I am sure he meant no harm to his mother.

I would like to believe that a marriage like this is possible. However, intervention from either side with kill it. I think you also have to remember that it is in the nature of a Christian(typically) to grab everyone they can and take them to church and show them the way.

You should sit down with your wife first and discuss what you would like to do. I think that your children should have no ties to your specific religion, for example your daughter going to church with your wife is a no no. When the daughter is old enough to say "I want to go to church" let her go. Heck drive her.

I really do no have much more to say at the moment. But I want to commend you on what you are trying to do. Religion is a personal choice, and keeping that sacred for your children no matter what they choose is very important IMO. Good luck and take care.

 

[CaptKevMan]

OK, I stopped reading at Page 6, but here are the responses I felt compelled to make:

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I am a Christian, we will get that out of the way. As a Christian, it is our job to go out amongst the world an tell others of Christ. To neglect one's own children would be rediculous. Secondly, It is against Biblical doctrine to even marry someone like you. She should be ashamed. An atheist and Christian cant be together for exactly these reasons. I am personally glad she is trying, and hope she succeeds. Maybe it isn't fair, but its our doctrine.

Do not presume to speak for all Christians. Your definition of Christianity is not the same as other people's definition of the term. Christianity should be a faith, not a religion. It should be a personal relationship with God and with Christ, not a crusade to persecute the unfaithful. Christians should lead by example, not force their doctrine on others. It's in compassion and caring for those in need and giving of oneself that should draw others to the faith, not proselytizing and threats of eternal damnation towards nonbelievers. That got screwed up early in the game; there never should have been a "church." Words of wisdom from Mr. Gordon Sumner: "Men go crazy in congregations; they only get better one by one."

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
1) The majority of the world is not necessarily doomed.
2) Who teaches that Christian morality is better than the morality of oth faiths?
3) How does Christianity (New Testament stuff) contradict science and logic?
4) What is wrong with instilling a little faith in a child? It can offer a little bit of comfort in an uncertain world.
5) Kids don't ordinarily get the fiery pit of hell stuff. That is for adults - particularly for Baptists.

1. Yes, according to your religion even the majority of those who claim to be Christian are doomed themselves. As the Bible says, what is faith without works? 2 Billion worldwide "claim" to be Christian, but everyone knows nowhere near that amount actually goes to church or actively practices it from day to day.

2. You're playing stupid. You teach that your morality is the "correct" morality and that all other moralities oppose the "creator of the universe."

3. Science? Is it possible to feed 5,000 people with one basket of bread? Is it possible turn water into wine with just a few words? Is it possible to rise from the dead?

Logic? Is it logical to say that an invisible man in the sky created every human being without their consent and then forced them into a life they did not ask for, and then forced them to adhere to a certain docterine/moral code, leaving humans with no way to escape their life or the afterlife? Is it logical to say god created faulty humans (he created us as we are, as it says in the Bible, he knew us before we were born) and then blamed them for their own mistakes?

4. What about faith in themselves? Faith in their own judgement?

5. Why not? Because you'd know it would make you look ridiculous. If you really believe if what you preach, shouldn't you be warning people that they will spend the rest of eternity being punished in hell? Think about that. Are you not grasping it? Do you not take it serious?

If someone knocked on your door tomorrow and said "do this for me or I'll beat you with this baseball bat." Would you take it serious? I bet you'd be scared, I know I would. Why are you not taking "eternal damnation" as serious? That is a HUGE statement to make. If true, certainly that is the most important warning anyone could ever receive.

I wait your responses to all my points.

Your points make so many presumptions about the Christian faith, it makes it impossible to have an intelligent conversation on the subject. Your prejudice seems to be against Biblical literalist, fundamental right-wing Christians, which you have ignorantly presumed to be representative of all of Christianity. That's like saying the Jihadists are representative of all Muslims.

There seems to be an awful lot of that going on in this thread; I don't know who to be more frustrated with: the radical fundies who have marred the public's perception of Christianity, or the ignorance displayed by those who would presume all Christians are so radical.

 

[IAteYourMother]

Originally posted by: CaptKevMan
OK, I stopped reading at Page 6, but here are the responses I felt compelled to make:

Originally posted by: thecoolnessrune
I am a Christian, we will get that out of the way. As a Christian, it is our job to go out amongst the world an tell others of Christ. To neglect one's own children would be rediculous. Secondly, It is against Biblical doctrine to even marry someone like you. She should be ashamed. An atheist and Christian cant be together for exactly these reasons. I am personally glad she is trying, and hope she succeeds. Maybe it isn't fair, but its our doctrine.

Do not presume to speak for all Christians. Your definition of Christianity is not the same as other people's definition of the term. Christianity should be a faith, not a religion. It should be a personal relationship with God and with Christ, not a crusade to persecute the unfaithful. Christians should lead by example, not force their doctrine on others. It's in compassion and caring for those in need and giving of oneself that should draw others to the faith, not proselytizing and threats of eternal damnation towards nonbelievers. That got screwed up early in the game; there never should have been a "church." Words of wisdom from Mr. Gordon Sumner: "Men go crazy in congregations; they only get better one by one."

Originally posted by: JLGatsby

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
1) The majority of the world is not necessarily doomed.
2) Who teaches that Christian morality is better than the morality of oth faiths?
3) How does Christianity (New Testament stuff) contradict science and logic?
4) What is wrong with instilling a little faith in a child? It can offer a little bit of comfort in an uncertain world.
5) Kids don't ordinarily get the fiery pit of hell stuff. That is for adults - particularly for Baptists.

1. Yes, according to your religion even the majority of those who claim to be Christian are doomed themselves. As the Bible says, what is faith without works? 2 Billion worldwide "claim" to be Christian, but everyone knows nowhere near that amount actually goes to church or actively practices it from day to day.

2. You're playing stupid. You teach that your morality is the "correct" morality and that all other moralities oppose the "creator of the universe."

3. Science? Is it possible to feed 5,000 people with one basket of bread? Is it possible turn water into wine with just a few words? Is it possible to rise from the dead?

Logic? Is it logical to say that an invisible man in the sky created every human being without their consent and then forced them into a life they did not ask for, and then forced them to adhere to a certain docterine/moral code, leaving humans with no way to escape their life or the afterlife? Is it logical to say god created faulty humans (he created us as we are, as it says in the Bible, he knew us before we were born) and then blamed them for their own mistakes?

4. What about faith in themselves? Faith in their own judgement?

5. Why not? Because you'd know it would make you look ridiculous. If you really believe if what you preach, shouldn't you be warning people that they will spend the rest of eternity being punished in hell? Think about that. Are you not grasping it? Do you not take it serious?

If someone knocked on your door tomorrow and said "do this for me or I'll beat you with this baseball bat." Would you take it serious? I bet you'd be scared, I know I would. Why are you not taking "eternal damnation" as serious? That is a HUGE statement to make. If true, certainly that is the most important warning anyone could ever receive.

I wait your responses to all my points.

Your points make so many presumptions about the Christian faith, it makes it impossible to have an intelligent conversation on the subject. Your prejudice seems to be against Biblical literalist, fundamental right-wing Christians, which you have ignorantly presumed to be representative of all of Christianity. That's like saying the Jihadists are representative of all Muslims.

There seems to be an awful lot of that going on in this thread; I don't know who to be more frustrated with: the radical fundies who have marred the public's perception of Christianity, or the ignorance displayed by those who would presume all Christians are so radical.

are you Christian?

 

[CaptKevMan]

Originally posted by: IAteYourMother
are you Christian?

By my standards, yes. I doubt fundamentalists would agree, though.

 

[DurocShark]

Kev: You sound like a gnostic. Have you read any of the gnostic writings?

 

[Kerouactivist]

Man the mouth breathing in this thread is rediculous....

 

[engineereeyore]

Originally posted by: CaptKevMan

Originally posted by: IAteYourMother
are you Christian?

By my standards, yes. I doubt fundamentalists would agree, though.

I don't agree with the "no church" thing, but so far I don't see anything you believe in being non-Christian, so I'd consider you Christian.

 

[ghostrider78]

Great topic. I think that people bring way too much baggage to discussions like these. I once got into a conversation about this and the Christian fellow ended up punching me in the eye. Anyways, you and your wife need to come to some sort of compromise because if your son feels he can play you two off each other then he will(he is a teenager and that seemed to come natural for me back in the day). Religion has a place in the world and only seems to become a problem when extremists get involved. Good luck with the child rearing and remeber he is your son as much as hers...just pick your spots and battles well.

 

[canadianpsycho]

I'm not reading this massive thread. Personally I find religion and people's laughable attempts at justifying their degree of zealouness boring and annoying.

Either your religious or your not. Just don't talk to me about it if you don't agree with me.

Sounds like your daughter enjoys church and has fun. Great. If she has questions otherwise its your job as parents to answer them truthfully without bias and without subjecting her to all the crap you read here.

You son seems to dislike the concept of church. Great. He probably shouldn't mouth off to Mom. But he's a teenager. Teenagers are dumb and usually disagree with whatever they feel like for the sake of doing so. Again, you guys should answer his questions.

Simple fact of the matter is discussing religion from various viewpoints is useless. Its like a Mets fan and a Yankees fan discussing basebell. Eventually they'll be on their own and do what they want to do anyways.

I'm pretty much an atheist. My wife is Catholic to a certain extent (doesn't go to church regularly, but observes religious events and rituals accordingly). While I detest organized religion, I feel my kids should do what I did - learn to like or dislike it through personal experiance. That's the only way you truly learn.

You guys should relax. Take the son to church a couple times (to placate the wife - the son will probably hate it anyways). Stop making it a focal point of discussions, or you'll never let it go. Have fun, be happy as you could die tomorrow - and no matter what anyone says about the afterlife they all could be wrong.

 

[hemiram]

Originally posted by: engineereeyore

Originally posted by: DurocShark

I used to call myself agnostic. Until I realized that regardless of your level of disbelief, if God or Jesus popped up in front of me and identified Himself with proof, any of us would suddenly become believers.

So I decided I was done with the cop-out that is agnosticism.

Do you really believe that? Christ appeared among a very large group of people who 1) believed in God, and 2) where expecting him to come. After presenting proof to those people of who he was, they still didn't believe him. What makes you think agnostic people will be any different.

>>>It says that in the bible, but there's no real proof he even existed period, let alone was able to do all the things claimed. The stories reek of "amplification". If god/jesus did exist, why wouldn't he know exactly what it would take to convince a non-believer that he does?

It seems to me that you are expecting some specific sort of "proof" that God is God. How do you know that when he comes that he will present you with just that "proof" you're looking for? Also, why should he the time to "prove" to the unbelievers that he is God when such proofs are widely available today if people will simply open their eyes to them.

>>>Well, your "proofs" must have convinced you, but not us.

Don't get me wrong, I do hope that if/when proof is presented, such people will believe, but what is going to stop them from just later pawning off such "proof" as coincidental or happenstance?

>>>There are literally hundreds of things god could do to prove himself true that would be instantly convincing. If he's what you claim, he would know this...

Christ's gospel has always been based upon faith, and always will be. You can't simply expect to accept something and dedicate yourself to it simply from seeing "proof" without having first exercised faith in the belief.

>>>Well, you have to "buy it' or not. You look at the bible, and it apparently rings true for you, but it's the opposite with me, and a lot of other non believers. There are so many "whoppers" in it that it comes off as just a man made up book of myths and legends, and full of errors and contradictions.

A normal person doesn't just decide to believe in something like, "I'm going to believe in Jesus now!" You have to buy into the proof FIRST, and then you will believe without making a concious choice.

 

[tooltime]

sounds like it could be meant to happen...talk about diversity huh?

 

[tooltime]

think of the testament

 

[mackaikai]

wow, just wow

i hope OP will find a solution to his problem and wish his family well!

 

[SouthPaW1227]

I think you two made a huge mistake in getting married.

You can even check the Bible for confirmation on that one...

now that you're in it, though, I say let the kid go to church if he wants

 

[I Saw OJ]

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
My father doesn't believe in God but he wouldn't dare associate himself with "Atheists".

I grew up with honest options. My father would've smacked me for disrespecting my mother's beliefs.

Just because he didn't believe in God doesn't mean he wanted the same for me. He is smart enough to know that he might not know everything.

He also can see the hypocrisy in those who label themselves "Atheist" and who are intent on forcing their opinions and beliefs on others. He doesn't mind seeing the word God on his coins and that is what separates him from all these self-rightous "atheists". I respect my father for not forcing his beliefs on me very unlike the OP.

/thread

Christian or Atheist, people shouldn't be trying to force their views on anyone else. Its as simple as that. However I belive parents should be able to raise their kids anyway they want.

As for the OP, he and his wife should have never tried to raise a family in the first place, its idiotic to try and raise children with two completely different views on life. Even if he thinks his son is ready to make decisions like that he should still respect his wifes views and make sure his son does the same.

 

[EGGO]

Originally posted by: canadianpsycho
I'm not reading this massive thread. Personally I find religion and people's laughable attempts at justifying their degree of zealouness boring and annoying.

Either your religious or your not. Just don't talk to me about it if you don't agree with me.

Sounds like your daughter enjoys church and has fun. Great. If she has questions otherwise its your job as parents to answer them truthfully without bias and without subjecting her to all the crap you read here.

You son seems to dislike the concept of church. Great. He probably shouldn't mouth off to Mom. But he's a teenager. Teenagers are dumb and usually disagree with whatever they feel like for the sake of doing so. Again, you guys should answer his questions.

Simple fact of the matter is discussing religion from various viewpoints is useless. Its like a Mets fan and a Yankees fan discussing basebell. Eventually they'll be on their own and do what they want to do anyways.

I'm pretty much an atheist. My wife is Catholic to a certain extent (doesn't go to church regularly, but observes religious events and rituals accordingly). While I detest organized religion, I feel my kids should do what I did - learn to like or dislike it through personal experiance. That's the only way you truly learn.

You guys should relax. Take the son to church a couple times (to placate the wife - the son will probably hate it anyways). Stop making it a focal point of discussions, or you'll never let it go. Have fun, be happy as you could die tomorrow - and no matter what anyone says about the afterlife they all could be wrong.

Sums it up for me. I wholly agree to this post. Sure, what your son said was very funny, but despite being young, he needs to be mature and sensitive about religion. Remind him that the bigger man never insults. He may be leaning towards atheism, but he still needs to be mature and understand morality.