Chuck Norris Jokes

[Q]

http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net

To get you started:

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Click "Random Chuck Joke" on top right, underneath the banner for more jokes in case you had trouble finding other ones.


What the heck? I keep trying to lock this thread. Every time, it comes back with the error code: 403.1 Forbidden by Chuck Norris
-Anandtech Moderator DrPizza

 

[imported_LoKe]

Wasn't this a bannable offense at one point? :laugh:

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: LoKe
Wasn't this a bannable offense at one point? :laugh:

I hope not. And thanks for rating my thread 0


I'm a rich man so I can bribe the mods.

 

[imported_LoKe]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: LoKe
Wasn't this a bannable offense at one point? :laugh:

I hope not. And thanks for rating my thread 0


I'm a rich man so I can bribe the mods.

I don't rate threads.

 

[Agentbolt]

I rated your thread a zero, it was ME. I hated these Chuck Norris threads back in the day, I was hoping my thread wouldn't give rise to a new one. You ruined that particular dream, Sir.

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
I rated your thread a zero, it was ME. I hated these Chuck Norris threads back in the day, I was hoping my thread wouldn't give rise to a new one. You ruined that particular dream, Sir.

Mod lock this thread before I get banned kthx

 

[compnovice]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
I rated your thread a zero, it was ME. I hated these Chuck Norris threads back in the day, I was hoping my thread wouldn't give rise to a new one. You ruined that particular dream, Sir.

Mod lock this thread before I get banned kthx

Hmmm... so you are saying that Mod > Chuck Norris?

 

[ultimatebob]

Originally posted by: compnovice

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Agentbolt
I rated your thread a zero, it was ME. I hated these Chuck Norris threads back in the day, I was hoping my thread wouldn't give rise to a new one. You ruined that particular dream, Sir.

Mod lock this thread before I get banned kthx

Hmmm... so you are saying that Mod > Chuck Norris?

Only Chuck Norris can moderate Chuck Norris!

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: ultimatebob
Only Chuck Norris can moderate Chuck Norris!

10/10.

You win.

 

[Ruptga]

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Oh there were some good ones back in the day, too bad I can't think of any of the better ones

 

[Throckmorton]

When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes?and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

 

[her209]

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

 

[Iron Woode]

Originally posted by: Quintox
http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net

To get you started:

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Click "Random Chuck Joke" on top right, underneath the banner for more jokes in case you had trouble finding other ones.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

enjoy

 

[RaiderJ]

Well, they may have been overdone at some point... but they've been off the forums for long enough I think they can qualify as funny again.

 

[CraKaJaX]

Originally posted by: LoKe
Wasn't this a bannable offense at one point? :laugh:

I believe it was...

I think there's a screenshot around that showed like 50 threads on the page and about 3/4 of them were Chuck Norris threads. :laugh:

 

[Kirby64]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

That's my favorite

Second is:
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

 

[tfinch2]

This is a great thread....


for me to shit on!

 

[eplebnista]

Chuck Norris Joke #637

All your base are belong to Chuck Norris.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Once on the set of "Walker: Texas Ranger," Chuck Norris revived a still-born calf by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Immediately after, while the rest of the cast and crew looked on, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the calf, breaking its neck and killing it, to show that sometimes the good Chuck giveth, and sometimes the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

[mrSHEiK124]

Originally posted by: Cerpin Taxt
Once on the set of "Walker: Texas Ranger," Chuck Norris revived a still-born calf by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Immediately after, while the rest of the cast and crew looked on, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the calf, breaking its neck and killing it, to show that sometimes the good Chuck giveth, and sometimes the good Chuck, he taketh away.

:laugh:

 

[OdiN]

Who would win a race to the end of the universe? Superman, or The Flash?





Answer:


Chuck Norris

 

[Canai]

Some of those are really bad, but a lot of them are funny.

 

[kb315]

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.