Classic JonnyGURU Rant - "Service with a Sonrisa"

SuperSix

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
9,873
2
0
Stolen from HERE.

*** BEGIN RANT ***

I'm sitting here looking at my cell phone....

There's a 13 minute call to the Florida Dept. of Transportation from yesterday logged on there.

Remember about a month ago I posted about how I left my credit card at Shula's Steak House and when they couldn't find it in two days, I cancelled it and ordered another card?

Well, my SunPass (pre-paid toll device like E-ZPass, TollTag, etc.) was charged to that credit card. I remembered that, so two days after I had cancelled the credit card, I changed what card was charged for my SunPass tolls.

I continued to use my SunPass assuming that the transition would be seamless. But for the next few days, my SunPass would buzz instead of beep whenever I ran through the SunPass lane. I thought it was strange until I received a letter in the mail stating that my SunPass couldn't charge my credit card on file and that it was going to be suspended if I didn't take care of the matter. Well, the letter was dated a day after I cancelled the missing card, which was a day before I put the new card's information in on the SunPass website. So I figured all was cool and I threw the letter out.

More days went by and my SunPass continued to buzz when I went through the tolls.

Yesterday, I was on the turnpike and had seen a back up in the SunPass lane. On the far right there was a SunPass/receipt lane that had no waiting, so I opted for that lane.

When I pulled up to the toll, my SunPass buzzed, a sign lit up that said "invalid" and the gate dropped down on my hood. I slammed on my brakes, looked back at the lady in the toll booth and she shrugged.

I backed up the car and rolled down my window.

"Can you open the gate please?"

"No comprende."

"Que? I mean... huh? Abierto el gate-o!"

The toll lady points to the sign that says "invalid" and says "Mira!" She then goes into "lounge mode" by sitting on her stool and resting her head on her hand as she pretends to look off to the distance as if I'm not there.

"Lady! I have a SunPass!" I rip the SunPass of the windshield and start waiving it in the air above the car as if it would help the receiver installed in the roof of the toll plaza understand my predicament.

I looked in my rear view mirror and there's now three cars behind me. I look at the lady in the toll booth and she's still pretending to not see me. I leaned on the horn and yelled, "Open the damn gate!"

She looked over at me and told me that she needed un dolar before she could open the puerta. I don't have un dolar! I have el credit card. The lady goes back to looking off into the distance. Now there's five cars behind me.

I grabbed my cell phone and called the toll free number on the back of my SunPass.

A nice lady answered and I explained the situation to her. She pulled up my account and told me my account was suspended because it went into the negative.

"Well, if it went into the negative, why didn't you just charge my credit card?"

"Because it went into the negative. That's why!"

"Then charge my credit card!"

"We can't. Your account was suspended because your balance went into the negative."

"Right... but if you charged my credit card, my balance wouldn't be in the negative."

"Right. But your account is suspended so I can't do anything until the account is taken off of suspension. I can have them do that, but the SunPass won't work until the next business day."

"AAaaaarrgh!!! Look. I'm at a toll booth with no dinero... err.. money and the lady in the booth won't open the gate. I now have 10 cars behind me. What do I do?"

"She should allow you to give her an IOU."

"How do you say that in Spanish?"

"I don't know, why?"

"I don't think this lady speaks English. Hold on, let me try something... ATENCION! Necesito un E. O. U." (trying to remember some Spanish alphabet pronunciation from high school.)

"Que?"

"Dammit!" I can hear the DOT lady laugh over the phone. "That didn't work. Can you talk to her?"

"I don't speak Spanish." she said.

"Your people hired her. You've got to help me out here." I handed the phone to the toll booth lady and all I can hear is the toll booth lady saying, "Que? Que? Que?" She then hands the phone back to me and looks off into the distance.

"She didn't understand a word I was telling her." the DOT lady told me. "Look, just hit the gate."

"WHAT?!?!?"

"Hit the gate. It's hinged. And if you hit it hard enough, it will flip out and up and you won't hurt your car."

"You're nuts!" I look in the rear view and all I see is a sea of cars. "Screw it. I'm doing it!"

Well, I still had the car in reverse from when I had backed up to talk to the lady in the toll booth. I gunned the gas and flew backwards and slammed into the Nissan Altima behind me at the toll plaza.

*sigh*


(Posted with permission from JonnyGURU)
 

Aharami

Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
21,296
149
106
haha. pretty funny, but sucks that he had to put up with that BS. there should be some law that forces people working in this country to be able to communicate in english
 

jonnyGURU

Moderator <BR> Power Supplies
Moderator
Oct 30, 1999
11,815
102
106
Originally posted by: Aharami
haha. pretty funny, but sucks that he had to put up with that BS. there should be some law that forces people working in this country to be able to communicate in english

I agree. But then we'd be accused of somehow violating someone's rights or something. Discrimenation and all that. Besides, it's America. The world's melting pot and all that. :roll:

 

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
96,183
15,776
126
Originally posted by: Howard
Good thing people in service positions in Canada can speak English.

A good part of Quebec would disagree with that.
 

jonnyGURU

Moderator <BR> Power Supplies
Moderator
Oct 30, 1999
11,815
102
106
Originally posted by: sdifox
Originally posted by: Howard
Good thing people in service positions in Canada can speak English.

A good part of Quebec would disagree with that.

Yup. Lots of folks up there speak only French and is why it's mandatory for packaging to have equal amounts of French and English in the same font size, etc.
 

SampSon

Diamond Member
Jan 3, 2006
7,160
1
0
Another reason why you should always have some form of cold hard cash on you at all times.
 

KLin

Lifer
Feb 29, 2000
29,501
126
106
Originally posted by: BrokenVisage
I don't read long rants without cliffs anymore, too many duds.

Dear thread crapper,

This rant is not a dud.


:roll:
 

jonnyGURU

Moderator <BR> Power Supplies
Moderator
Oct 30, 1999
11,815
102
106
Originally posted by: SampSon
Another reason why you should always have some form of cold hard cash on you at all times.

And you know... I got my wife her own ATM card so she could get her own cash out of the ATM... yet she raids MY WALLET in the morning.

What's ironic was I was on the way to pick her up!

If there were coins in the ashtray I would have thrown them at the toll lady while singing La Cucaracha.
 

Howard

Lifer
Oct 14, 1999
47,989
10
81
Originally posted by: sdifox
Originally posted by: Howard
Good thing people in service positions in Canada can speak English.

A good part of Quebec would disagree with that.
I meant the other parts of Canada. i.e. Canada proper.

 

Farbio

Diamond Member
Apr 9, 2000
3,855
0
0
i miss johnnyGURU's rants....ah the joy of actually opening a rant knowing it was good
 
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