One guy on here had a good idea to show people his essays and see what they thought. Well I'm asking the same thing, so if you can help please PM me and I'll send them over.
I wrote two essays. I think the one dealing with the accident is better written but has a worst subject, and the one about video games isn't as well written but has a better subject.
Alright I'm not getting enough feedback so I'll just post the damn thing. Here it is.
**EDITED.. I changed a lot of the essay:**
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As I walked down the hallway, I could hear gun shots all around me. My fellow soldiers were taking cover beyond some debris as I stood out in the open with my rifle, mowing down the enemy troops in a blaze of glory. They stood in awe as I, the Master Chief, almost single-handedly conquered this alien spaceship. Satisfied with the mission, I pressed pause and put down the controller to take some notes on one of the premiere games for Microsoft's X-Box, Halo.
Most people don't take notes while they play video games but I had to. As the assistant editor of Gamenikki, an online game review publication, part of my job was to write extensive reviews on new releases to the market and let consumers know what is worth buying.
I've always had the desire to become a print journalist, and in my first year of high school I was lucky enough to get some experience with it beyond the student newspaper. Writing articles for a publication which had thousands of readers each day, I was able to get some valuable exposure to my chosen career field.
I must admit, the fact that video game reviewers get free games from the publisher in exchange for writing an article about their product was quite important in my decision to start writing reviews. I was a broke 15-year-old after I'd bought my first game console, and so after some persistence in asking the editor I scored myself my first free game. I don't remember what it was exactly, in fact most of what I got wasn't too good or worth remembering, but I do recall the satisfaction I felt in being payed for doing something I enjoy, writing and playing video games.
After only a couple of months I moved up to assistant editor and was getting new games thrown at me left and right. With the editor busy with school, I took the responsibility of contacting the publishers to receive free copies of their new releases. Only after a few weeks I knew some of the public affairs people on a first name basis, although I'm not sure they ever knew they were dealing with a 15-year-old kid who was taking time out of his algebra homework to land himself a copy of Mortal Kombat.
I worked for Gamenikki for over a year before my schoolwork caught up with me and I had to leave. In retrospect I should have tried to stay longer, because only a few months after I quit I was strapped for cash again. I ended up taking a job at Round Table Pizza. My new job entails bussing tables instead of blasting aliens with a sub-machine gun, and cutting pizza as opposed to writing articles about one of my favorite hobbies. It was my experience at Gamenikki which solidified my desire to become a print journalist, and after two years of working at a pizza place I've realized how much more I'd like to be writing for money rather than cleaning tables for it.
I wrote two essays. I think the one dealing with the accident is better written but has a worst subject, and the one about video games isn't as well written but has a better subject.
Alright I'm not getting enough feedback so I'll just post the damn thing. Here it is.
**EDITED.. I changed a lot of the essay:**
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I walked down the hallway, I could hear gun shots all around me. My fellow soldiers were taking cover beyond some debris as I stood out in the open with my rifle, mowing down the enemy troops in a blaze of glory. They stood in awe as I, the Master Chief, almost single-handedly conquered this alien spaceship. Satisfied with the mission, I pressed pause and put down the controller to take some notes on one of the premiere games for Microsoft's X-Box, Halo.
Most people don't take notes while they play video games but I had to. As the assistant editor of Gamenikki, an online game review publication, part of my job was to write extensive reviews on new releases to the market and let consumers know what is worth buying.
I've always had the desire to become a print journalist, and in my first year of high school I was lucky enough to get some experience with it beyond the student newspaper. Writing articles for a publication which had thousands of readers each day, I was able to get some valuable exposure to my chosen career field.
I must admit, the fact that video game reviewers get free games from the publisher in exchange for writing an article about their product was quite important in my decision to start writing reviews. I was a broke 15-year-old after I'd bought my first game console, and so after some persistence in asking the editor I scored myself my first free game. I don't remember what it was exactly, in fact most of what I got wasn't too good or worth remembering, but I do recall the satisfaction I felt in being payed for doing something I enjoy, writing and playing video games.
After only a couple of months I moved up to assistant editor and was getting new games thrown at me left and right. With the editor busy with school, I took the responsibility of contacting the publishers to receive free copies of their new releases. Only after a few weeks I knew some of the public affairs people on a first name basis, although I'm not sure they ever knew they were dealing with a 15-year-old kid who was taking time out of his algebra homework to land himself a copy of Mortal Kombat.
I worked for Gamenikki for over a year before my schoolwork caught up with me and I had to leave. In retrospect I should have tried to stay longer, because only a few months after I quit I was strapped for cash again. I ended up taking a job at Round Table Pizza. My new job entails bussing tables instead of blasting aliens with a sub-machine gun, and cutting pizza as opposed to writing articles about one of my favorite hobbies. It was my experience at Gamenikki which solidified my desire to become a print journalist, and after two years of working at a pizza place I've realized how much more I'd like to be writing for money rather than cleaning tables for it.