Comebacks

[nixium]

OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?

 

[SunnyD]

So be preemptive... that way you'll never require the use of a comeback.

BTW, the old standby: Your Mom!!! (followed by an awkward pause)

edit: Woot, my 1st first post timewarp!

 

[oznerol]

The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

 

[Titan]

You're not the only one.

Gimme a minute for a better comeback.

 

[CRXican]

your mom, your face

I battle a co-worker on a daily basis. Find a weakness and exploit it. For example he's chubby and I'm in great shape. Always an easy target.

FAT KID!

 

[So]

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I really wanted to post this.

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

 

[MoPHo]

I'm quite good at coming on people's bac--oh, yea I'm ok at comebacks, too.

 

[acheron]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I really wanted to post this.

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

Well I had sex with your wife.

 

[Hacp]

Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?

I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.

 

[geno]

I know you are, but what am I?

 

[ggnl]

I stay sharp by constantly talking shit to everyone I know.

 

[polarmystery]

Most people who use comebacks religiously in conversations are just deflecting to hide their own insecurities.

 

[Turin39789]

Originally posted by: acheron

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I really wanted to post this.

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

Well I had sex with your dad.

:Q

 

[DrawninwarD]

Originally posted by: Hacp

Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?

I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.

Wow, what a brilliant goal in life. Standing in front of a mirror practicing comebacks.

 

[zoiks]

I'm sure you're going at sucking at something else.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: zoiks
I'm sure you're going at sucking at something else.

I'm sure this sentence means something, but I can't quite figure it out.

 

[oznerol]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I really wanted to post this.

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

The late edit makes this both ironic and hilarious.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: ggnl
I stay sharp by constantly talking shit to everyone I know.

This.

The best defense (i.e. comebacks) is a good offense (i.e. talking shit)

 

[LordMorpheus]

Well if you can't do comebacks, work out until you are really intimidating and always escalate (i.e. some guy: 'Your momma' you: *stepping close* 'wanna make something of it?')

 

[spelletrader]

Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?

Don't feel to badly, this is a very common occurrence. So common in fact that the french have a phrase for this very thing: L'esprit de l'escalier - It means - thinking of a suitable retort after the opportunity to make it has passed. Literally it is "the wit of the staircase"

You are not alone!

 

[Miramonti]

It depends if its personal towards myself or others, or not.

My wife marvels at how quick I am, but I don't like to be made to look bad, particularly by others who I feel like to make people look bad, so I get a subtle surge of adrenaline/excitement when I get a chance to humorously reflect it back to the originator.

But when its ALL fun and games, I'm often slow and can't come up with something creative, conceding defeat fairly early, lol.

 

[nixium]

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

Your Mom!!!! <awkward pause>

 

[Flipped Gazelle]

Originally posted by: acheron

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

I really wanted to post this.

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.

Well I had sex with your wife.

Is that why she was laughing so hard when he got home?

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Well if you can't do comebacks, work out until you are really intimidating and always escalate (i.e. some guy: 'Your momma' you: *stepping close* 'wanna make something of it?')

That can really backfire if the shit talker calls your bluff and you're not willing to back up your threats with action. You end up looking like a dimwit and a wimp.

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: DrawninwarD

Originally posted by: Hacp

Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?

I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.

Wow, what a brilliant goal in life. Standing in front of a mirror practicing comebacks.

LOL, no kidding.