Consider never marrying...

[sandmanwake]

Originally posted by: tami
not long ago, i told myself (and friends and family) that i'd never get married. i wanted to "live it solo" -- be on my own, do my own thing, and no, i wasn't having sex with anyone at that time (religious reasons and personal preference). i made little comments to my friends that if i ever do get married, i'd be a 65-year-old maid -- the last one of my group of friends to ever get married, if at all.

well, when you meet the right one, your feelings really change. i'll tell you that. i'm happily married and i'm glad i made this choice. sure, you can want to live independently, and there are things that will still enable you to be on your own while having someone to come home to. love is a wonderful thing but you need to seek it out or it needs to find you. if you think marriage is a horrible concept, try it. if it didn't work out, then it was a bad match -- so try again. eventually, you'll be REALLY happy.

Maybe I'm missing something, but when you get married aren't you promising to be with someone for as long as you or the other person shall live? Why make that promise if it's something you can break so easily later. Splitting up with someone when you're not married seems less messy than if you were. Is marriage just an insurance policy that the other person won't leave you unless things get so bad that it'll be worth going through the hassle of a divorce?

 

[Trygve]

Sure, at least rationally, I expect I'll be staying solo. It's not that I'm opposed to the idea or even that I haven't considered it...but the catch is getting *someone else* to consider it, too (and not be opposed to the idea).

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: MoPHo
my girlfriend asked what i thought about marriage. rather than lie and not get her mad at me, i told her the truth. i told her i didn't really want to get married. she assumed i meant 'no, i just wanna have sex with every girl out there', which is true but i didnt mean it at the moment. her exact words were "i'm seriously contemplating our relationship".

Joo are fvcked now.

 

[rh71]

If you ever actually fall in love with someone and are the type of person who can deal with another person's quirks from time to time, marriage is no problem.

After having lived with my fiancee for 2 years prior to getting married, I didn't think the term married, the certificate that proves it, nor the feeling we had for each other would change (we'd been together for 7 years total). Well the latter did change. It was a true sense of belonging with each other for the rest of our lives that is different.

Before I start handing out the barf bags, you guys should consider making sure they are the right person first... then you'll have a better chance at "accepting marriage".

 

[StageLeft]

Don't get married, don't have kids. Stay single and bar hope until your 35, after which point you'll be just another old loser in the bar. <- formula to happiness.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
Don't get married, don't have kids. Stay single and bar hope until your 35, after which point you'll be just another old loser in the bar. <- formula to happiness.

bar hope....
so you are saying... in bars there is hope
because beer goggles give you hope.

yeh, i can see that.

 

[FoxyProxy]

<-- been married twice (23 years old) LOL!

You thinks you had it hard???!

Both guys turned out to be losers what can I say?

Have two children (5 and 1) as well. May try again but will hold off for a while. Mom just passed (cancer) and so far this year has been horrible but I know it will get better, right?

The bar scene is well um bad news. Too easy to go home with someone and get into trouble. Lot of older married men in those places these days. That is trouble my friends!

Anyways, never give up!

 

[bleeb]

I've talked to some people about this topic. One lady finds extreme joy in being single. All the points mentioned above apply. However, she does report of times of extreme loneliness and more often than not, those times are extremely difficult.

Some arguments for women to remain single is the social/family pressures to get married. Women suddenly, in the realization that they are getting too old (relative to the "marrying" age) soon panic and make irrational or illogical or just plain crazy decisions which, in the end can lead to a lot of suffering.

From the male perspective, I don't really know anyone that wants to be alone (single). More recently, I was at this one particular club a few times separated by a few weeks. Anyways, there was this fairly old guy who looked like he was alone trying to dance with young women. It was obvious that he had no game and no chance of hooking up with anyone at the club. The girls wouldn't even dance with him. I couldn't help but think, man I don't want to be in that situation. (Old, no companionship, having to go to a dance club to try and meet people) ... basically that has got to suck.

Personally, I've thought about not marrying occasionally (living the bachelor life) but that thought quickly fades when I think about things like the "old man in 'da club'."

 

[Brutuskend]

<---51 and still single.

And NO I'm not ugly, fat or gay.

 

[TheLonelyPhoenix]

<--- 20 and still single.

Not fat or gay, just ugly.

 

[lokiju]

I'm tired of dating, I just want to find someone already that isn't fake and that I can share my life with.

I'd love to have a kid to.

 

[Liviathan]

Me. I am 29. Never been close to getting married and plan to keep it that way. Don't see the point in getting married. Seems more of hassle than anything.

I know that people will post here and say thats a waste that marriage is great. SAVE IT!

 

[tm37]

I was never going to get married. In HS school my friends and I were going to do a pool and we would each throw in $100 and The last one not married would win. They decided that I could not join because I had a cheating problem. The thing is when you meat the right person you shage your ways.

I married @ 21 and Still married and never strayed oh and I still married @ 30 two kids would not trade it for anything.

I would have been the first one to fall in the pool

 

[Brian23]

20/M/Virginia

OMGhi2U

 

[NiKeFiDO]

Originally posted by: sandmanwake

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: GuileVsGuile
Im just curious how many dudes out there honestly considered livin it out solo...or at least for a pretty long time...

dudettes consider it too

I need to find me a dudette who's willing to just be my solo shag partner without having to go through this whole marriage crap. Really, what's the point if you not religious? You can say you'll love them and stay with them for the rest of your life, but then divorces wouldn't exist if those words were true would they? Not that I'm against divorces. What's the point of staying with someone if you're miserable?

marriage is a legal state now, not just a religious state. Being marries has direct legal consequences.

 

[imported_Beavis]

Marriage=Human Wallets, thats all we men are to women, just human wallets

so i'll never get married, it aint worth it.

rather spend my money on computer parts and video games

 

[radioouman]

People today are afraid to get married because everyone else seems to know someone that got a divorce, etc.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
<---51 and still single.

And NO I'm not ugly, fat or gay.

have you ever posted a pic to prove this theory?

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

yup

 

[zendari]

Originally posted by: Beavis
Marriage=Human Wallets, thats all we men are to women, just human wallets

so i'll never get married, it aint worth it.

rather spend my money on computer parts and video games

:thumbsup:

I would only marry a woman who makes more money than I do.

 

[RaiderJ]

It really depends on the person. I've been w/ my girlfriend for close to 3 years, and it will probably be another two if we get married. How people can know each other for such a short amount of time and get married.... no wonder the divorce rate is so high!

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: Beavis
Marriage=Human Wallets, thats all we men are to women, just human wallets

so i'll never get married, it aint worth it.

rather spend my money on computer parts and video games

have you any idea how many married couples have joint accounts and spend equally ? It's not like it's the 1950s where only the man makes the money...

 

[Davegod75]

Originally posted by: Papi
i dont think ill ever marry. cant see myself doing it.

i feel it changes things.

been in a relationship 11 years now. 2 kids. i refuse to marry.

what's the difference?

 

[RichPLS]

I think it is wise to wait until the time is right. Usually this is much longer than most people wait, and as a result divorce rates are high.
It takes years of a dedicated relationship to ensure compatablity, but when found is wonderfull!

 

[TreyRandom]

My wife and kids are the best part of my life. I'm glad I didn't "go solo". Married her at age 29. I'm sure if I had found her earlier, I'd have married her earlier. I guess it was just "right place, right time."