Rant Conspiracy theories/ Crazy thoughts -- Post your whackiest beliefs in here that no one agrees with WITHOUT REGRETS!

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Indus

Lifer
May 11, 2002
11,513
7,938
136
WARNING: HORROR STORY BUT TRUE..



Another story courtesy of my wife..

Man goes to take a dump.. all of sudden his balls hurt and guess what it is.. a snake bit his balls while he was on the toilet.. so he grabs it with his bare hands and takes a photo of it to show the doctors what kinda snake it was so he can get the correct anti-venom all the while he's bleeding..

Even the female newscaster is freaking out while telling the story..

I don't know how this doesn't happen in America more often.. Do rural people go to the toilet with AR-15's to shoot snakes before taking a dump or something??


P.S. The guy survived.. it looks like he was lucky it was a constrictor.
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
59,102
13,641
136
WARNING: HORROR STORY BUT TRUE..



Another story courtesy of my wife..

Man goes to take a dump.. all of sudden his balls hurt and guess what it is.. a snake bit his balls while he was on the toilet.. so he grabs it with his bare hands and takes a photo of it to show the doctors what kinda snake it was so he can get the correct anti-venom all the while he's bleeding..

Even the female newscaster is freaking out while telling the story..

I don't know how this doesn't happen in America more often.. Do rural people go to the toilet with AR-15's to shoot snakes before taking a dump or something??


P.S. The guy survived.. it looks like he was lucky it was a constrictor.
That seems more like a job for a shotgun than an AR-15.
 
Reactions: Indus

thraashman

Lifer
Apr 10, 2000
11,103
1,550
126
WARNING: HORROR STORY BUT TRUE..



Another story courtesy of my wife..

Man goes to take a dump.. all of sudden his balls hurt and guess what it is.. a snake bit his balls while he was on the toilet.. so he grabs it with his bare hands and takes a photo of it to show the doctors what kinda snake it was so he can get the correct anti-venom all the while he's bleeding..

Even the female newscaster is freaking out while telling the story..

I don't know how this doesn't happen in America more often.. Do rural people go to the toilet with AR-15's to shoot snakes before taking a dump or something??


P.S. The guy survived.. it looks like he was lucky it was a constrictor.
New fear unlocked.
 
Jul 27, 2020
19,595
13,435
146
Prompt: "Write a story about a tribe that bit their balls with snakes and then the snake venom would give them reptilian shape shifting kids who had supernatural powers of swimming through water without sinking and whose spit could burn skin and blind the eyes."

In the depths of the lush and uncharted jungles of the Amazon, there existed a tribe unlike any other, known as the Serpentis. Renowned for their deep connection with nature and the creatures within it, the Serpentis were venerable custodians of an ancient secret, a rite that had been passed down through generations.

Once every moon cycle, under the gleam of the full moon, the tribe would gather at the sacred riverbank—a location believed to be the very heart of their ancestral powers. Here, they would perform a ritual that was both revered and feared, involving the venomous snakes that slithered freely through the underbrush. The men of the tribe would offer themselves to the serpents, allowing the snakes to bite them, a mark of bravery and sacrifice.

This act was not merely a display of courage; the venom coursing through their veins activated an ancient alchemy, unlocking dormant abilities within their bloodline. As part of this rite, the men would also bite the tails of the snakes, absorbing the essence of their power. The result was a transformation that would ripple through time—within a year's time, women would bear children not merely human but shapeshifters, imbued with supernatural abilities.

These children would inherit remarkable powers; they could swim through water as if it were air, gliding seamlessly beneath the surface with the grace of a dolphin. They could navigate the treacherous rivers and streams, their bodies adapted to the aquatic realm, allowing them to explore the depths of the earth's hidden treasures.

Even more astonishing were the abilities contained within their saliva. When threatened, the shapeshifting children could spit a venomous fluid, capable of burning skin and blinding their enemies. This weapon served as both a defense mechanism and a way to protect their sacred lands from outsiders who sought to exploit the jungle's bounty.

As generations passed, the lineage of the Serpentis thrived, each child more powerful than the last. However, a looming darkness began to settle over the jungle—menacing forces from the outside world, driven by greed and destruction, sought to exploit the resources of their home. They invaded the territory, armed with axes and machinery, threatening to drain the life from the land.

It was during one such invasion that the young shapeshifters, now teenagers teeming with potential and wisdom, came together to protect what had been entrusted to them. United by their bond with nature and fueled by the powers inherited from their ancestors, they devised a plan to repel the invaders.

On a still night, the moon full and bright, the Serpentis gathered at the riverbank once more. As they transformed, shedding their human forms like old skins, they became graceful serpentine beings, gliding into the depths of the river. At their command, the waters stirred violently, a tempest of resistance brewing against the encroaching threat.

The invaders, lulled by the stillness of the night, were taken by surprise as the waters erupted and serpentine figures emerged. The children of the Serpentis unleashed their venomous spit, burning the eyes of the encroaching mercenaries and leaving them stumbling and confused.

As chaos erupted on the shores of the sacred river, the children swam with finesse, weaving through the currents, attacking from multiple angles, their movements fluid and serpentine, a dance of defiance and protection. The jungle itself seemed to rise with them, vines ensnaring intruders and the chorus of wildlife echoing their battle cry.

In the aftermath of the confrontation, the invaders fled, overwhelmed and beaten. The victory was celebrated under the light of the full moon, as the Serpentis gave thanks to the ancient spirits and the snakes that had blessed them with their formidable powers.

And so, the tale of the Serpentis continued, a tribe entwined with the legacy of the snakes, guardians of the jungle, protectors of their home, and parents of a new generation of shapeshifters who would ensure that the beauty and magic of their sacred land would never fade away.

Then I told it to write a poem about it and weirdly got this:

In a realm where whispers weave through the trees,
Where shadows dance softly on a cool evening breeze,
A tale unfolds, spun from silver and gold,
Of courage, of mystery, and secrets untold.

Beneath a moonlit canopy, stars blink and sigh,
A hero emerges, spirit fierce and spry.
With eyes like the twilight, reflecting the night,
They journey through forests, guided by light.

The whispers of ancient, the echoes of lore,
Call forth the adventurer to unlock the door
To realms where the forgotten once lingered in dreams,
Where hope sparkles brightly, or so it seems.

Through valleys of sorrow, over mountains of fear,
With every bold step, our hero draws near.
Challenging shadows that flicker and call,
Unraveling truths that can rise or can fall.

In the heart of the labyrinth, where silence is loud,
Awaits the great riddle, beneath dark, swirling cloud.
With wit as their weapon, they step to the fray,
Unraveling myths in the light of the day.

In battles of spirit, in trials of mind,
They're reminded that courage is born unconfined.
For every lost moment, for every hard choice,
They find strength in the whispers, they feel a new voice.

And as dawn's gentle fingers brush skies with soft hues,
The tale weaves a tapestry of love, hope, and muse.
A hero stands tall, with the past left behind,
For in every ending, new beginnings unwind.

So gather ye round, let the stories be spun;
For every adventure started is never quite done.
In the heart of the journey, through the trials we've seen,
Lies a promise of magic, alive in each dream.

Tried again:

In a shadowed glen where the wild winds wail,
Lived a tribe of whispers, a curious tale,
With serpent companions, they danced in the dark,
Their bond with the venom ignited a spark.

Beneath ancient trees where the sun seldom glows,
They’d beckon the snakes in a trance-like pose,
With courage and chant, the ritual begun,
A bite on the skin, a pact newly spun.

From venom’s embrace, with a shiver and hiss,
They’d shape-shift their children—a wondrous abyss,
Born in the murmur of twilight’s soft sigh,
These offspring of magic learned to leap and to fly.

With scales glistening bright like a moonlit night,
They glided through waters, a mesmerizing sight,
No sinking to depths, they soared free and bold,
Legends of power and secrets untold.

Yet lurking behind them, a danger they bore,
For the spit of their kin burned flesh to the core,
A weapon of exile, a blinding decree,
With whispers of fury, they brought foes to their knees.

Through currents they danced, a fluid embrace,
A tribe of the river, the wild, and the grace,
Each child a guardian, strong, fierce, and wise,
Beneath the vast heavens where the starlight lies.

So remember their story, in shadows they swim,
The tribe of the serpents, fierce on a whim,
For bound by the venom and ancient design,
Their legacy lingers, forever enshrined.
 
Reactions: Indus
Jul 27, 2020
19,595
13,435
146
MAGAs have two nice choices of dying, if they choose to go at their own terms:

Visit Russia and get tortured/raped to death or Putin throws them out a window.

Donate everything they own to Trump and then die as a hobo.
 
Reactions: Indus

Indus

Lifer
May 11, 2002
11,513
7,938
136
Someone else's conspiracy: USA overthrew the Bangladesh government / orchestrated regime change.

Yeah its not just making right wingers nervous.. its making left wingers nervous as well since their religious tolerance isn't exactly the best.

The revolutionaries are burning minorities alive and it is clear tolerance of others is not on their agenda:

 

Indus

Lifer
May 11, 2002
11,513
7,938
136

Another reinforcement of the thought that some so called members of the DNC coalition are the least reliable and should not be catered to or held up on pedestals.
 

crashtech

Lifer
Jan 4, 2013
10,573
2,145
146
This seems like the right thread for a couple of observations:

1. I can safely bet against the P&N consensus in anything politically motivated.
2. I can tell something is notable and/or bad for the Left if P&N is ignoring it.

There's no need to tell me how wrong/punchable I am. I already know, thanks.
 
Reactions: Indus

Indus

Lifer
May 11, 2002
11,513
7,938
136
This seems like the right thread for a couple of observations:

1. I can safely bet against the P&N consensus in anything politically motivated.
2. I can tell something is notable and/or bad for the Left if P&N is ignoring it.

There's no need to tell me how wrong/punchable I am. I already know, thanks.

Well you don't need mountains of proof to post in here.. it can just be a hope and a dream or something totally wonky because..

And it's a great stress ball for the other usually charged topics where we will not cede any ground and it also helps us to not bring politics to the off topic forum!
 
Reactions: crashtech

[DHT]Osiris

Lifer
Dec 15, 2015
15,185
13,430
146
This seems like the right thread for a couple of observations:

1. I can safely bet against the P&N consensus in anything politically motivated.
2. I can tell something is notable and/or bad for the Left if P&N is ignoring it.

There's no need to tell me how wrong/punchable I am. I already know, thanks.
Got any examples of 2? Most important stuff that isn't straight up conspiracy theory ends up making the rounds here.
 
Reactions: feralkid
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