Coworker cliche sayings

[RadiclDreamer]

The office quotes I hate the most are in this order

"He has too much on his plate"
"Synergistic effort"

And pretty much anything that has to do with project management

 

[Ilikepiedoyou]

Originally posted by: Axoliien

Originally posted by: Ilikepiedoyou
when I walk around at work people often say to me "hey, fvck you, ni**er"

Yea I jacked someone's laptop, and now everyone looks at me with contempt

 

[djheater]

I have several managers, the 'clueless' one has a tendancy to do the following:
Because he's clueless, he'll say "Doesn't A do B becaus of C?
We then explain it to him and without fail he says
"Really!" in an incredulous tone. It's hte same emphatic incredulity EVERY time.
/sigh

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Have you defined your standard work. Kaizen bursts? Opportunities for improvement? Gap Analysis? Turnbacks. Escapes! Action Items! Lessons Learned. Shoot me.

 

[LS20]

Originally posted by: spidey07

"You need to Champion this..."

g damn it

"can you make it a deliverable?"

 

[hellfire88]

One phrase I HATE, yet get a lot is "......please advise". ugh I want to punch someone every time I hear it. Dunno why I hate it so much.

 

[HN]

"I know you're really busy, but..."

:|

 

[imported_Imp]

At my last job, whos employies mostly consisted of ladies, younger people were called "pretty girl" and "cute guy" in another language. Culture there was 'close' and 'open' so there were no sexual harassment claims. However, you don't know how annoying it can get until you get called that by everyone (*shudders*).

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Have you defined your standard work. Kaizen bursts? Opportunities for improvement? Gap Analysis? Turnbacks. Escapes! Action Items! Lessons Learned. Shoot me.

You need to nemiwashi more.

 

[MisterJackson]

Whenever I tell my 'cool' boss something he'll say, "Oh really?". I answer "Ya Really".

I'm not sure if he gets it or not, but it's funny to me.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

I catch myself saying annoying stuff too.

I start stuff with "well,.." and "i mean..." a lot. It annoys me, and I really need to stop myself.

 

[Safeway]

"Good morning."

 

[Danman]

"Fvck off."
"Go fvck yourself."
"You are so gay."
"Eat a dick."

A significant amount of tomfoolery happens in our group.

 

[Fritzo]

I used to work with Joe Cliche:

"Let's run this up a pole, but make sure we have all of our ducks in a row before we start engaging our synergies to the customer base. If we miss our deadline, we may see a paradigm shift in our core product, but our integrated partnerships with other collaboratives should cover our core colaboration."

Ugh.

 

[darkamulets]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
Do you have enough bandwidth?

Let's touch base.

Think outside the box.

I should start writing this stuff down.

That screams my last boss... ugh I hated him never actually did anything.

 

[JRock]

"Correct..."
"100 Percent..."
"In the NEW system..."

 

[homercles337]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Have you defined your standard work. Kaizen bursts? Opportunities for improvement? Gap Analysis? Turnbacks. Escapes! Action Items! Lessons Learned. Shoot me.

Is this at "the club"?

On topic, i have a coworker that will emphatically say, "I disagree 100%!" He's a statistician (what statistician would EVER say something is 100%) and wrong 99% of the time he says this.

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
I used to work with Joe Cliche:

"Let's run this up a pole, but make sure we have all of our ducks in a row before we start engaging our synergies to the customer base. If we miss our deadline, we may see a paradigm shift in our core product, but our integrated partnerships with other collaboratives should cover our core colaboration."

Ugh.

£10 that could of been said in about 5 words. i'd smack some one who spoke like that, JESUS CHRIST MAN GET TO THE GODDAMN POINT! AND IN PLAIN MOTHERF*CKING ENGLISH!

 

[Zugzwang152]

Utilize. I fucking hate that word.

I also hate when people say they need a "sidebar" or "offline" discussion. JUST SAY YOU'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

 

[KingGheedora]

One says "going forward" in almost every email. Many emails contain multiple instances of the phrase.

 

[KingGheedora]

Originally posted by: Ilikepiedoyou
when I walk around at work people often say to me "hey, fvck you, ni**er"

That was totally unexpected. I burst out laughing when I read it.

 

[IGBT]

.."the trick is". How bout people that start every conversation with the word "no"??

 

[thomsbrain]

my personal one is "I can do it, but it will be overtime." It is starting to become a running gag in meetings.

 

[shortylickens]

"Irregardless" and "guesstimate" bug me too, but I hear them more often outside of work than inside.

 

[2Xtreme21]

"Not gonna lie..."