Coworkers are harassing me about getting married

[SeductivePig]

delete.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Depends what you want. If you want a family, raise kids, etc... you really do have to start semi-young. It's not as easy as "Oh don't worry a baby will magically pop out eventually".... It becomes a wee bit harder to have kids when you're in mid 30's.

If having a family and having a mini-me doesn't apply to you, then why let it bother you? Push back on them and tell them "No thanks I preferred to get laid more often than once a month on a scheduled basis".

 

[SeductivePig]

delete.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I went through that phase myself, not just coworkers but with my family too. My mom and sister were always trying to set me up. My dad too, but then he'd also often jokingly say "don't get married!". Thankfully, it passed. I'm just not interested in marriage, I'm not going to force myself to do it just to be conventional. I mean, I think about it sometimes, and it would be kinda nice to start a family, but at same time, I don't really want the responsibility and the hectic life that comes with it. I like my own space and time, and getting home and having the house to me is worth a lot.

Though it sounds like they are taking it way too far. It was not as bad for me. Now that I'm in my 30's I think people have finally accepted I'm happy single.

I also kinda feel obligated to get married/have kids just to pass on my genes and family name though... but I'm not going to do it just for that reason.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

I just turned 29.. and I'm in the prime of my life. Have plenty of opportunities to settle down but I have other priorities. Plan to settle down maybe when I'm 32-33.

I just don't know how to handle it at this point. I've been nice to them up until now, maybe I have to tell them I'll get married when they start minding their own fuking business..

I'm not pressuring you to settle down either - I'm simply telling from one person to another that if you ever want to "settle down" - that doing so in the mid 30's isn't always peachy. But again - that depends on what your goals are.

The longer you go the more likely you are to run into issues of:
1) Dating people that have already been married/divorced
2) Dating people that already have a kid (single moms - this was a big no-no for me when I was in my dating age)
3) Issues with infertility. The human body was made to be pumping out kids in the late teen and early 20's - everything after that it gets much harder.
4) Kids + Jobs aren't peachy either. Depending on your career + industry, it's hard to move up when you're always held down to making sure you have time for taking the kids to school, picking them up, taking them to soccer practice, etc...
5) Wife potentially transitioning to stay at home mom... that's definitely a game changer as well that you have to be prepared for.


If you're fine with being single the rest of your life then who cares? If you don't want to have a family with evil mini-me's then who cares? I'm just telling you the counter points to your argument - not telling you to go that route though.

 

[SeductivePig]

delete.

 

[BD231]

I think its time us ATOT members brutally jump these co-workers of his in the parking lot, who's with me.

 

[Darwin333]

Regardless if you have them or not, anytime marriage is brought up talk extensively about your hemorrhoid and bowel problems. Use your imagination but go into massive detail. A nice story about a stool blockage that you had to break up by sticking gloved fingers up your ass to break up the log goes a long way too. If your coworkers don't shut you down after that then all I can say is find new coworkers, fast...

 

[Red Squirrel]

That could be fun actually, make up the fact that you got diagnosed with IBS, and always talk about it. Bonus points is that you can just get up to go to the bathroom and blame IBS.

"Ok I really need to go to bathroom, IBS acting up again. Cheese plug is about to come loose and open the floodgates. Houston we have a problem!"

 

[gorcorps]

You have to straight up tell them "this makes me uncomfortable, never joke about me getting married again"

It sounds like they're trying to joke with you and you haven't flat out told them to stop. Once you do, and they still continue, it's truly harassment.

 

[ladyjd]

If you've repeatedly warned them about it, it now becomes an HR issue of harassment. You can choose to keep taking it or escalate it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

It becomes a wee bit harder to have kids when you're in mid 30's.

 

[highland145]

1st, they're miserable and want you to be miserable too.

2nd, tell them that, unlike some people you know, you see no reason to buy the cow when the milks free.

 

[Sonikku]

I'm one of those guys that got way better looking and masculine with age.. still have my hair, top tier physique, good fashion sense, $, etc.. very dominant.

Call me.

 

[Yakk]

As for having kids - my younger sister just left home for college at 18. I've seen what it did to my parents - they have nothing to do now. My dad had my sister when he was 39. If I had my only kids when I was 25ish, I would be empty handed by the time I was 43. Being childless from 43-70 would be absolutely terrible.

This one depends on your life goals, I'm in that age bracket and my kids are well on their way. It was fantastic fun earlier in my life, and now I enjoy my time even more with them now as they are more independent. For me I couldn't imagine starting a family in my late 30s & 40s all the while dealing with more senior work positions & pressures, all at the same time.

Really depends on the person imho.

 

[Qwertilot]

IThe problem is, not even my family asks me to get married anymore. They trust that I'm on my own path which I believe in. So for coworkers to do this is just insanity to me.

Seriously at least (politely but with a bit of force) tell them that its causing genuine distress/annoyance and to leave off it. It isn't at all acceptable.

From the sounds of it they're from very different cultures, which could be a big cause. Marriage & (especially I think) breeding is one place where the Western world currently has profoundly different cultural norms to some other countries. We've got a genuinely large %age of single people, people never having children etc.

Even when you're aware of this sort of cultural gap it is very easy to let your expectations affect your behaviour. Almost without knowing it.

 

[Pick2]

1st, they're miserable and want you to be miserable too.

2nd, tell them that, unlike some people you know, you see no reason to buy the cow when the milks free.

I agree - start there and over the next couple weeks , escalate it. Ending with "Why should I get married when your wives give Me such good SEX anytime I want it ?

 

[Exterous]

I'm one of those guys that got way better looking and masculine with age.. still have my hair, top tier physique, good fashion sense, $, etc.. very dominant.

Er...ok.

I'm very humble

I get a lot of things from that post but humble is not one of them

That said you have a couple of options:
1. Be a man and grow some thicker skin
2. Be a whiny millennial and get HR involved
3. Word choice is important here but respond with: "Sorry - I'm up to my balls in wet nubile pussy so it'll have to wait till things calm down. Man this freak last night was crazy! I thought she broke my dick but then she did this thing with her finger and he snapped right back to attention. Hey how old is your daughter again?"
4. If they are uncomfortable around gay people then similar to above but with more lines about how much you love rubbing cocks all over your face

1st, they're miserable and want you to be miserable too.

Uh-oh. Did you try to stand up to your wife and she cut you down again?

 

[highland145]

Er...ok.



I get a lot of things from that post but humble is not one of them

That said you have a couple of options:
1. Be a man and grow some thicker skin
2. Be a whiny millennial and get HR involved
3. Word choice is important here but respond with: "Sorry - I'm up to my balls in wet nubile pussy so it'll have to wait till things calm down. Man this freak last night was crazy! I thought she broke my dick but then she did this thing with her finger and he snapped right back to attention. Hey how old is your daughter again?"
4. If they are uncomfortable around gay people then similar to above but with more lines about how much you love rubbing cocks all over your face

lol

Uh-oh. Did you try to stand up to your wife and she cut you down again?

She did call me her bitch last night.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

So, when is the OP getting married?

 

[Pick2]

You really only need to Identify the one leader , the rest are just following him. Deal with him. The rest will follow suit.

 

[highland145]

OP do you have a man bun?

 

[ultimatebob]

Funny, I tell my unmarried male coworkers to stay the hell away from women who want to get married and have kids. Them bitches is crazy

As most married people here can attest to, both your sex life and your personal life basically end once the baby arrives.

 

[Squisher]

Tell them you married your sister.

 

[SKORPI0]

I prefer to sleep around.

.

This sums it up. Afraid to commit yourself to that special person. Why even bother to get married?