Coworkers are harassing me about getting married

[Thebobo]

I think its time us ATOT members brutally jump these co-workers of his in the parking lot, who's with me.

Do I have to get out of my chair?

 

[highland145]

This sums it up. Afraid to commit yourself to that special person. Why even bother to get married?

That's what I told Tiger....sheesh.

 

[snoopy7548]

I went through that phase myself, not just coworkers but with my family too. My mom and sister were always trying to set me up. My dad too, but then he'd also often jokingly say "don't get married!". Thankfully, it passed. I'm just not interested in marriage, I'm not going to force myself to do it just to be conventional. I mean, I think about it sometimes, and it would be kinda nice to start a family, but at same time, I don't really want the responsibility and the hectic life that comes with it. I like my own space and time, and getting home and having the house to me is worth a lot.

Though it sounds like they are taking it way too far. It was not as bad for me. Now that I'm in my 30's I think people have finally accepted I'm happy single.

I also kinda feel obligated to get married/have kids just to pass on my genes and family name though... but I'm not going to do it just for that reason.

Pretty much exactly the same here. I'm too selfish to be with somebody else, let alone have kids. Always dreaded dating and while it might be nice to have somebody, I value my alone time and lifestyle way too much to change it. I love being able to decide to go hiking on a whim on a Saturday afternoon, or take a nap, or stay up until 2a.m. blasting music and watching movies without thinking of anyone but myself.

It's kinda sad that my parents have "given up" on me, but I have two brothers who each have families, two kids each (one soon to adopt one more), so there are enough grandkids. In my early to mid 20s it was somewhat difficult as that's when everyone is pressuring you to at least date, but now that I'm in my early 30s I just don't care. Seeing everyone around me get married and have kids strangely makes me appreciate the path I've chosen.


OP, just play along with your co-workers. Unless you're friends with them outside of work, they'll never know. "Yeah, I'm dating a nice girl." Six months later... "Yeah, we're engaged." Another six months later... "Man, marriage huh? Sucks so much. Luckily she's infertile and against adoption, so we're not having kids."

 

[sandorski]

lol, but srsly Dude, when you getting Married?

 

[[DHT]Osiris]

I'm not sure what to do here. I work with a small group, mostly foreigners. One guy is my dad's age, the other two are about 3-4 years older than me, one of whom is my manager.

My manager is a FOB (got an arranged marriage from some girl in a village when he was 30), slightly older coworker from another country married his GF of 8 years, and my much older coworker from another country married his HS girl. These guys are completely oblivious to reality (think "blue pill") if you know what I mean. I prefer to sleep around.

My manager, for the past 3-4 years now has been pestering me in front of coworkers asking when I'll get married, joking that I"ll come back from vacation with a ring, telling me to get an arranged marriage, etc. Now my coworkers have been doing the same thing.

I work remotely and out of nowhere during a conference call today, one of my coworkers asks me when I'm getting engaged and then the older coworker goes off on a tangent for like 5 minutes. I ended the call saying I don't want to discuss my marriage, I have to use the restroom, let me call you back. When I call back, he keeps talking about the marriage. WTF?

Until now I have brushed it off, laughed it off, tried to divert the subject, etc, but these idiots don't get the hint. I have told them I won't be getting married anytime soon but they keep asking.

At this point, and even in the past, it has really pissed me off outside of work and destroyed my mood because I tend to have a lot of time alone to think about things. This is basically harassment, and is against the law.

We have a good working relationship and I don't want to ruin that; however, this is making my blood boil. And this is coming from a guy who is very calm, and even meditates. What do I do?

It's gotten to the point where when a client who I work for visited our corporate office, my manager, when saying goodbye, followed him out the door telling him that I needed to get married during my vacation overseas. Could not believe what I was hearing.

Tell them to mind their own damned business. If you have a good working relationship, there should be no issues with this. They're people, not daffodils.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

If you are as dominant as you say you are, speak up and stand up for yourself.

 

[deustroop]

The problem may be just that you are being treated like a woman. In NA the traditional pressure is often on the single woman to marry since nobody likes to see a single woman at middle age.You often hear that eggs are getting old, etc. Nobody cares much about the situation of single men at any age since they are seen as more flexible and have less at stake.
So either grow a pair or try a transitional gender.

 

[Scarpozzi]

You should ask them why they're so jealous of your freedom. You should turn the tables and try to convince them to get divorced. Talk about how you're your own boss and that you have youth on your side...you don't have to carry dead weight, yada, yada...

I wish you the best of luck. I know it's not fun when coworkers or friends get stuck in an endless loop on some topic at your expense. Maybe pull the main one aside individually and have a talk with him 1 on 1 and tell him to respectfully knock it off and stay out of your personal affairs.

 

[ultimatebob]

So either grow a pair or try a transitional gender.

Try a transitional gender... never heard that one before! I gotta steal that one to use against some SJW's where I work

 

[BurnItDwn]

Tell everybody you know that they should get divorced.
Talk about how great it is not to be married.
Otherwise, if the only reason you dont marry is to sleep around, then just find yourself a swinger lady.

 

[kage69]

Sorry OP, sounds like you work with a bunch of social authoritarian types. How dare you live your own life and not conform to what they think it should be, right?

Just answer questions about your future marriage with questions about the other person's upcoming funeral. You know, since everyone is discussing personal events some of us would rather not contemplate. Then when they make a weird face say "Oh is it too weird for me to be asking about that kind of family thing? No it's ok, I totally understand" and smile.

Or, you could try to snuff it with humor.

"Guys, marriage is a wonderful institution. But really though, who in their right mind wants to be institutionalized?"

my $0.02

 

[brianmanahan]

I'm one of those guys that got way better looking and masculine with age.. still have my hair, top tier physique, good fashion sense, $, etc.. very dominant.

lucky! i've gotten worse in every aspect in the last 10 years, except for $.

 

[Exterous]

lucky! i've gotten worse in every aspect in the last 10 years, except for $.

You'll always have your pomes though

 

[BD231]

Do I have to get out of my chair?

Peanuts and libations are provided so long as you are willing to lie to athorities about the happenings of said brutallities

 

[JulesMaximus]

Tell them that they are making you uncomfortable and threaten to report them to HR.

Short of that you could stop being such a bitch and suck it up buttercup.

 

[ultimatebob]

Honestly, I would start screwing with your coworkers. Start telling them about how you partied all weekend and then ask them how their lame weekend went

 

[Thebobo]

Offense is your best defense with bullies. Take out the biggest asshole (figuratively) and the rest will all fall away like the little lap dogs they are.

 

[Herr Kutz]

That's funny, my coworkers tell me to never get married.

 

[MrDudeMan]

You sound a little immature and, since you brought it up, not at all humble. With that said, this isn't complicated. Calmly say you don't want to get married, you have a different opinion about life, and move on. If they continue to talk about it, talk over them or cut them off and repeat the same phrase until they get it. Or go to HR. Whatever works for you, but getting really mad is only hurting you while doing nothing to remedy the situation. I wouldn't go to HR because that is likely to disrupt the relationship, but it's all about what you think you can handle personally. You clearly don't have the stance of dominance that you perceive when you look at yourself because, if you did, this thread wouldn't exist. Think about that before you proceed.

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Related....

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

 

[brianmanahan]

You'll always have your pomes though

true

though i actually used to be a much more profilic pomeist 10 years ago

 

[Mayne]

I love you guys.

 

[cyclistca]

Tell them to MTOB

I was single and dated for the longest time. Then in my late forties I finally met the one. We got married and had a health baby boy. I was 48 and my wife was 43.

 

[sdifox]

Don't get married
Don't have kids.

 

[Crumpet]

Married my best friend.. we've been together 10 years before finally signing the papers.

Still, the fact that she says crying children makes her ovaries shrivel and die makes my heart warm.