Dads: Offer advice for the Delivery Room/Prep

[Patt]

My wife is pregnant with our first, and is due on the 29th. I know enough to not be worried about sticking to that date, but I'm thinking I should really start getting ready.

Anyone have advice on what to expect in the delivery room, anecdotes, or ideas on what to bring that might make things easier for my wife?

Thanks.

 

[krmarks]

When the dr. tries to take you south of her knees, tell him your just fine in the northen hemisphere. And for god sakes, stay calm and be supportive.

 

[maximus maximus]

remember to breathe and push!!

 

[nakedfrog]

That umbilical cord is a slippery ah heck, you may not be able to cut it on the first try.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: krmarks
When the dr. tries to take you south of her knees, tell him your just fine in the northen hemisphere. And for god sakes, stay calm and be supportive.

That part, interestingly to me, I'm not worried about at all. I'm not squeamish whatsoever. I want to see what is going on ... or at least I think I do

 

[waggy]

on the way to the hospital stop and get drive-through. you are going to be on your feet for a LONG time with little time to get something to eat. and do not get mad when she starts calling you names..

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: krmarks
When the dr. tries to take you south of her knees, tell him your just fine in the northen hemisphere. And for god sakes, stay calm and be supportive.

That part, interestingly to me, I'm not worried about at all. I'm not squeamish whatsoever. I want to see what is going on ... or at least I think I do

its messy and nasty. oh and when the baby comes out it will look like a old hearless smurf.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

Did she go in wanting an epidural? My wife doesn't want that sort of medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. I know her limits, and her preferences so I can help her make the decision when the time comes. However, I also know that unless she gives the green light, there will be no epidural, I won't override anything like that.

 

[djheater]

It's exhilarating and intense, be there, project as much calmness as you can muster. That's about all you can do, you're functionally useless except as a reassuring support for her.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

Did she go in wanting an epidural? My wife doesn't want that sort of medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. I know her limits, and her preferences so I can help her make the decision when the time comes. However, I also know that unless she gives the green light, there will be no epidural, I won't override anything like that.

My wife had three babies, two born at home, all were without medication, and one was eleven pounds :Q
All women are different though and as long as you get a healthy baby and mommy at the end of it all, I don't think one way is any better or worse than the other...

 

[Maximus96]

congrats and good luck. my wife had to be induced because of high blood pressure. after an over-night stay she went into labor the next evening. it was painful as hell until they put the epidural in. you'd probably be responsible to do the counting, push for 10 sec, breath, push for 10 sec...etc. remove your wedding band so your fingers won't hurt when she squeezes like there's no tomorrow, but it shouldn't be that bad with the epidural. try not to be disgusted when your wife poops during labor. don't tell her about it until she recovers and use it to your advantage.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Maximus96
congrats and good luck. my wife had to be induced because of high blood pressure. after an over-night stay she went into labor the next evening. it was painful as hell until they put the epidural in. you'd probably be responsible to do the counting, push for 10 sec, breath, push for 10 sec...etc. remove your wedding band so your fingers won't hurt when she squeezes like there's no tomorrow, but it shouldn't be that bad with the epidural. try not to be disgusted when your wife poops during labor. don't tell her about it until she recovers and use it to your advantage.

oh my wife had the same problem (high blood pressure not the pooping). they had to induce her with the first child. man it took a long time and not pleasent for her.

she is 37.5 weeks along with child #2 and has been taken off work due to high blood pressure. hopefully they won't have to induce her this time.

 

[Fritzo]

Make a kit- bring magazines, books you've wanted to read, a Gameboy rocks, load up your cell phone with games, bring a portable DVD player...you're in for a long haul with the first one. 12-24 hour hard labor isn't uncommon. Bring a pillow too, as they usually only have a crappy chair for you to sit in during the whole time.

Also, bring change for snacks. The nurses are usually pretty nice and will give you drinks. Don't eat in front of your wife as she won't be able to eat anything and will probably be starving.

Be careful if you're standing in the action zone when the baby is coming out. An episiotomy is NOT something you'll want to witness.

Finally, if she thinks she's going to be brave and skip the epidural, she's nuts. The longer she waits, the more it'll hurt to get one, and OMG is she going to be screaming without one.

 

[Maximus96]

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

Did she go in wanting an epidural? My wife doesn't want that sort of medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. I know her limits, and her preferences so I can help her make the decision when the time comes. However, I also know that unless she gives the green light, there will be no epidural, I won't override anything like that.

my wife went in not wanting the epidural just like yours. they won't administer it until 4cm or so. your wife will get to experience some of the pain. my wife was glad she did take it and was able to nap for a couple of hours afterwards to save some strength.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: Maximus96

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

Did she go in wanting an epidural? My wife doesn't want that sort of medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. I know her limits, and her preferences so I can help her make the decision when the time comes. However, I also know that unless she gives the green light, there will be no epidural, I won't override anything like that.

my wife went in not wanting the epidural just like yours. they won't administer it until 4cm or so. your wife will get to experience some of the pain. my wife was glad she did take it and was able to naps for a couple of hours after to save some strength.

My wife isn't trying to be brave or anything, she just doesn't like the idea of using drugs to get through a natural act. She hasn't completely discounted it if necessary though, which I also think is really important. Hearing from others who haven't taken those steps helps. Thanks :beer:

Edit: whoops ... no reading comprehension there. Regardless, we'll see what happens

 

[FoBoT]

don't look "down there"

stay up by her face to give her support while she squeezes your hand , er, crushes your hand

if the doctor says anything about cutting anything, ask for a 10% discount on the bill since you'd be doing their job for them

 

[GagHalfrunt]

I recommend you do things the old fashioned way. Wait outside with a bottle of bourbon, some cigars/cigarettes and a fistfull of valium. Let the professionals handle the icky stuff, you're not qualified.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Maximus96

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Epidural. That's the only thing you need to remember.

If you took a lamaze class just throw all that crap out the window. That's what hospitals, doctors and nurses are for.

Just try to make her and yourself as comfortable as possible because you might be there for a long time. It was 13 hours for us.

Did she go in wanting an epidural? My wife doesn't want that sort of medical intervention unless absolutely necessary. I know her limits, and her preferences so I can help her make the decision when the time comes. However, I also know that unless she gives the green light, there will be no epidural, I won't override anything like that.

my wife went in not wanting the epidural just like yours. they won't administer it until 4cm or so. your wife will get to experience some of the pain. my wife was glad she did take it and was able to nap for a couple of hours afterwards to save some strength.

With our first child, my wife didn't want an epidural. That quickly changed though when the labor pains started.

With our second child, my wife wanted the epidural...no questions. Unfortunately, the anestheisiologist(sp) screwed up and the epidural went upwards instead of down. This made my wife's arms and chest go numb making it difficult for her to breath. She ended up having to go with a C-section because of this.

My suggestion, just be there to be supportive, talk, and joke with her. You don't have to do anything else. The hardest part is the waiting.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
don't look "down there"

stay up by her face to give her support while she squeezes your hand , er, crushes your hand

if the doctor says anything about cutting anything, ask for a 10% discount on the bill since you'd be doing their job for them

There is no bill ... Canadian health care system FTW

 

[krunchykrome]

They poop during the labor?

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome
They poop during the labor?

Apparently around %50 of them do ... similar muscles involved in the pushing I suppose

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Finally, if she thinks she's going to be brave and skip the epidural, she's nuts. The longer she waits, the more it'll hurt to get one, and OMG is she going to be screaming without one.

Yeah, after doing the first two kids without one, there was no hesitation about mine wanting the epidural for the third one.

 

[rudder]

Do you have relatives nearby? The nurses will not let any one in the room if you ask. Seems rude, but it is a special time. My wifes family getting coming in and my wife was doing a natural pregnancy. They just would not get the message to leave. The nurses don't have a problem pushing people out the door.

 

[rudder]

oh and another thing... don't freak out if her water breaks. You will have plently of time to get to the hospital.