Damn sister :(

[Hammer]

This sounds like the plot to '24'.

 

[Azraele]

I hope she comes to realize why she's in so much trouble.



<< This should be phase #350 or so >>


Lol kami, be patient, only 350, 000,000 (give or take a few )more to go.

 

[Gibson486]

<< They were at some guys house and they claim that they fell asleep watching a movie. >>



Hmmm...they feel asleep watching a movie? Your parents are probably livid right now. All the things that could of ensued...dam...reminds me of teh "hey mister" song.

 

[Warin]

GRRRGH.... GRRRGHHH

Must ... resist ... urge ... to ... rant ...

What the heck..

Kami,

Yeah, your sister was totally irresponsible staying out the way she did without keeping in touch. But to freak out on her and ground her and take away privledges is just stupid (And I know it's your parents doing not yours) What incentive is there for her to be honest next time she wants to go out and party with friends? Next time maybe she will arragne to be staying at a 'friends' house, but that time they will be smart enough to set up a story without so many holes in it.

When I was sixteen, I was allowed to stay out over night if I chose to. All I had to do is communicate to my parents where I was going to be (generally) and when I would be home. I also had to give a solemn vow that if we were drunk, we'd call for a ride and not drive ourselves. And you know what? I rarely got drunk, and never got into trouble.

I am a parent. Sure, my son is only 6, but i plan on giving him the same freedoms that I was given.

I have this theory that if you villainize the things teenagers are naturally drawn to (most of which are totally foolish) that you make them more attractive.. and that kids will do this stuff whether we try to punish it out of them or not.

If your sister was given some responsibility, and above all respect for her ability to make choices, maybe you wouldnt have been worried about her last night.

PS: If you try to say 'Well you are a guy and she is a girl' I will slap you silly. My sister and I didnt talk for years because just such a double standard was applied in my family. And guess what... my sister got into WAY more trouble than I did..plus she hated me for the freedoms I was given. The double standard sucks.

 

[Azraele]

Warin: What would you have done given what happened?

 

[charrison]

Warin,

You forget at midnight she said she was on the way home or about be on the way home, only to return 6+ hours later. As a parent I would extremely worried and quite pissed off with extreme disreguard for responsability. However her parents decide to ground her, she deserves it. By not giving any punishment, she will only realize she can get away with. Teens deserve to be treated as being responsable until they prove otherwise. She has taken a firm step forward in proving she is not responsable yet.

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

<<

<< OH MY GOD!!! what if she was out doing drugs??? smokin a little PoT... drinkin some 40's..... if that's the case sounds like she was having a good time. Seriously don't freakin worry bout her, as long as she's at home and somewhat sane everything is ok. >>


That's not the problem...the problem is blatantly lying and disobeying a curfew. I'd be stupid to think she hasn't drank before, but that's not the whole point of this. She's 16!!!!!!!!! Vulnerable, inexperienced, god knows what could happen around the wrong people. Plus she had rules set out for her. >>


Didn't you pull stuff like this when you were 16? You sound surprised. Yes, she's 16 - meaning this sorta thing should be expected. She'll grow out of it in due time.

Grounding her was the right thing to do, if for nothing else just to make sure she knows she was wrong. I wouldn't be upset with her though.

 

[kami]

ROFLMAO Warin.

Calm down man. You don't even know 1/20 of the story here...you can't make assumptions about how my mom's been raising her kids for the past 20 years from a few sentences I typed on a message board for god's sake.

SO what would you do if your son was 16, and lied to you, never called, and disobeyed a rule you set for him? If you don't do anything, it'll happen again. If you wait for them to learn it on their own it can be too late and something bad could happen.
Like I also said, she's an insulin-dependant diabetic and if she ever got carried away with anything she could pass out and the idiots she is hanging out with wouldn't know that she needed immediate medical attention. She's rebellious and someone needs to teach her some lessons....it's a phase everyone, including me, went through.

 

[kami]

<< Grounding her was the right thing to do, if for nothing else just to make sure she knows she was wrong. I wouldn't be upset with her though.
>>


We're not, and my mom didn't scream at her or anything...just laid out the punishment and let her know how worried we were.

 

[Warin]

<< What would you have done given what happened? >>



Hard to say..

Thing is, I wouldnt have let myself be in a situation where my shild would feel the need to lie to me about what they were doing.

You -cant- be your childrens best friend. YOu need to be their parent and maintain that relationship. But that also doesnt mean that you have to be some control freak...right?

Think back to when you were a teen...remember how many times you felt like your parents couldnt understand? Well... in most cases that's because they set themselves up in a position where they COULDNT understand because otherwise the whole house of 'authority' would fall over.

I am not setting myself up as some parenting expert, I am just looking at in a common sense way. If there is respect, then there is far less chance of a need for having to turn into a dictator.

Was Kami's sister right to break the rules? No. Are the rules reasonable? I don't know them.. Are the rules likely based on some sort of desire to shield her from 'the big bad world'? Probably.

But you cant shield your kids from the world without making them unprepared to deal with them later.

 

[kami]

<< Are the rules likely based on some sort of desire to shield her from 'the big bad world'? Probably.
>>



What's wrong with a 1am curfew? How si that shielding her from the "big bad world"? That's a hell of a lot better than most people I knew when I was her age! The other rule is to call if she's going to be late and to let my mom know where she is...
she did none of this.

 

[Warin]

Kami,

Not trying to slag your parents or the job they are doing

Just saying that in my experiences as a teen, and now as a parent... it's a hard line to walk.

I guess I went off because I have an RL friend that is being a total tyrant to her 16 year old..and it's just NOT working. The harder she cracks down/grounds/removes privledges... the more rebellious her daughter gets.

<<edit: Added this stuff... >>

See? There ya go. 1 am isnt a bad curfew. My sis it was 11, till she moved out at 18. Thanks for the info.

 

[Siva]

My sis lied about sleeping over a friend's house once and stayed over at her boyfriend's all night. She was grounded the entire summer, I think your sis got off pretty easy

 

[OneOfTheseDays]

why did u make this stupid thread. it is completely pointless, what a waste of bandwith. I don't mean to be harsh, but this thread has no point or meaning to it at all.

 

[SuperTool]

Yeah, she was at my house

 

[tweakmm]

<< why did u make this stupid thread. it is completely pointless, what a waste of bandwith. I don't mean to be harsh, but this thread has no point or meaning to it at all. >>


and this makes it different from the majority of OT posts how...


Mike

 

[Lithium381]

<< OH MY GOD!!! what if she was out doing drugs??? smokin a little PoT... drinkin some 40's..... if that's the case sounds like she was having a good time. Seriously don't freakin worry bout her, as long as she's at home and somewhat sane everything is ok. >>



gee lets be optimistic about the situation! hah, good thing shes safe, that's happend to my friend before, most people act like they hate their siblings, but they actually care, very apparent in situations like these.

 

[pyonir]

Hey Kami: glad your sister is home safe and sound man. i have 4 sisters (all older though) so i know what it is like for a brother to be protective.

 

[halik]

<<fell asleep watching movie at this guys house>>

hehe,
i bet i know what happened that night...

 

[Nemesis77]

When you are a kid living with your parents, you have to follow the rules they set. If one of those rules is "home by 1am!" then so be it. Yes, punishing her is a right thing to do. Why?

1. She ignored the rules
2. She ignored the feelings of others
3. She lied and betrayed the trust that was given to her

All those things merit a some kind of punishment, but the third one is espesially important. Her parents trusted her. They trusted her when she told that she was in a coffee-shop on her way home. She betrayed that trust.

If she were my kid, she would be punished. Something along the lines that was done now (grounded, no computer).

Kids need rules and they need limits.

 

[Soulflare]

<< This sounds like the plot to '24'. >>



From Kami's sister's live journal:

"Today will be the longest day of my life..."

 

[Aquaman]

So............ what was the final punishment?

Cheers,
Aquaman