dasm it

[MWalkden]

Hey toolgirl!!!!!! I'm so glad your back! It just isn't the same for me here when you are gone! How was your turkey day? I'm still eating too much, like it has become a habbit!:Q

 

[WishMaster]

Gobble Gobble

 

[WishMaster]

Gobble Gobble

 

[WishMaster]

Gobble Gobble

 

[Regine]

Hi MWalkden

Thanksgiving was fine. I didn't even gorge myself really (did the Friday night at the Country Club )
Some setting must have been screwed up on my parents' comp, cuz I couldn't see the thread titles or anything - so no forums for a whole week
But now I'm happy to be back

Dasm it

 

[Regine]

bumperoodle

 

[divide by zero]

Double dasm!!

Wonderful weekend, great family get-together!!

Didn't win the lottery so I have to go back to work.

At least I've got stats!!

 

[Maniac9127]

Cool, free post inflater! Diamond Member here I come!

 

[imported_CyberWire]

thread is still alive eh?

 

[Slacker]

Messy computer room pictures in O/T

http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.cfm?catid=38&threadid=284696

 

[Fardringle]

I want to make my contribution to society, er, to this thread, but just can't see posting a bunch of empty messages, so here's some light reading for you...

 

[Fardringle]

The following is a quiz. All answers are True or False. Please answer all questions honestly, and to the best of your ability, or your answers may not be honest, or to the best of your ability.

1. People tell me one thing one day and out the other. T/F
2. I can't unclasp my hands. T/F
3. I can wear my shirts as pants. T/F
4. I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today. T/F
5. At parties, I like to sit by myself and collect a great deal of saliva. T/F
6. I often mistake my hands for food. T/F
7. I'd rather eat soap than little stones. T/F
8. I never liked room temperature. T/F
9. I line my pockets with hot cheese. T/F
10. My throat is closer than it seems. T/F
11. I am annoyed by the taste of my teeth. T/F
12. Sometimes I feel compelled to count the freckles on my arms over and over until I lose control of my bladder. T/F
13. Most things are better eaten than forgotten. T/F
14. Likes and dislikes are among my favorite things. T/F
15. My patio is covered with killer frost. T/F
16. I've lost all sensation in my shirt. T/F
17. I try to swallow at least three times a day. T/F
18. My best friend is a social worker. T/F
19. I've always known when to close my eyes. T/F
20. My squirrels don't know where I am tonight. T/F
21. Little can be said for Luxembourg. T/F
22. No napkin is sanitary enough for me. T/F
23. I walk this way because I have to. T/F
24. Walls impede my progress. T/F
25. I can't find my marmots. T/F
26. I like mechanics magazines, but I'd rather fondle a marine. T/F
27. My uncle is as stupid as paste. T/F
28. I can pet animals by the mouthful. T/F
29. My toes are numbered. T/F
30. Man's reach should exceed his overbite. T/F
31. People tell me I'm deaf. T/F
32. My beaver won't go near the water. T/F
33. I can find my ears, but I have to look for them. T/F
34. I don't like any of my loved ones. T/F
35. Sometimes I have the strangest feeling that I've done something before. T/F
36. Sometimes I have the strangest feeling that I've done something before. T/F
37. A good friend should stick to the ceiling when the going gets rough. T/F

 

[Fardringle]

Final Year Exam - 1989
Time: 9 am until opening time

Candidates must not write on more than two sides of the exam paper.

Marks will be deducted for bad spelling and writing which is hard to read.

1. What language is spoken by French Canadians?

2. Give the important characteristics of the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions, or give the first names of the Osmonds.

3. What religion is the Pope? (choose ONE answer only)
a) Jewish
b) Catholic
c) Hindu
d) Anglican

4. What is a silver dollar made of?
a) Gold
b) Silver
c) Polyvinylchloride

5. Who won the Second World War? Who came second?

6. Explain Le Chatelier's principal of dynamic equilibrium force or spell your name in block capital letters.

7. Approximately how many commandments were given to Moses?

8. There were six kings of Britain called George, the last one being called George VI. Name the other five.

9. Who invented Stevenson's rocket?

10. Write down the numbers 1 to 10. (Marks will be deducted for every number out of sequence.)

11. Dublin is the capital of which north-western European country?

12. Name the odd man out:
a) Cardinal Heenan
b) the Pope
c) the Archbishop of Canterbury
d) Jack the Ripper

13. Who was the winning jockey in the All Ireland Greyhound Derby in 1971?

14. Who built the Great Pyramid? (Choose ONE answer only)
a) Rameses II
b) W.B. Yeats
c) Wimpey
d) the Amey Roadstone Corporation

15. In the 1973 Sheepdog Trials, how many were found guilty?

16. At what time is News at Ten?
a) 9 pm
b) 6 pm
c) Don't know
d) All of the above

17. Would you as William Shakespeare to:
a) build a bridge?
b) sail the ocean?
c) lead the army?
d) WRITE A PLAY?

18. What holiday falls on January 1st?
a) Christmas
b) New Year
c) August Bank Holiday
d) St. Patrick's Day

19. Is a dunker a:
a) person who dips biscuits in his/her tea?
b) contraceptive?
c) vehicle used for road construction?
d) black person about 7 feet tall who is good at basketball?

20. Do you understand Newton's Law of Gravity? (YES or NO)

21. What is 69 and 69? (One answer only)
a) 101
b) ten times your IQ
c) An NIHE party
d) All of the above five answers

22. Write a prose composition on each of the following:
i) The wide-ranging knowledge of C.S. students on computers. (Maximum of two letters. Hint: BS)
ii) The role of fast food franchises in the modern urban environment.
iii) What the restaurant looks like.

23. Approximately how many questions are on this exam?
(Answer to the nearest 100)

 

[Fardringle]

Life's Little Destructions:
(by Charles Dane)

Never tip more than a quarter * Hum along at the concert * Signal left,
turn right * Help fools part with their money * Cut off people in the
middle of their sentences * Drive 45 mph in the passing lane * Take more
than 10 items to the express checkout line * Ask people how much they
make * Touch the paintings at the museum * Record over a borrowed
VCR tape * When giving directions, leave out a turn or two * Assume every
umbrella is yours * Ask her if the diamond ring is real * Keep a store of
wise cracks for tense and serious occasions * Make jokes about terrorists
at the boarding gate * Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons * If
you can't think of saying something nice, say something nasty * Announce
when you are going to the bathroom * Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
* Repeat yourself * Repeat yourself * Pee in the swimming pool * Forget the
punch line, but don't let that stop you from telling the joke * Whistle a happy
tune - over and over and over * Open the casket for one last look * Ask if a
present is returnable * Call your friends during the Super Bowl to talk about
your problems * Keep saying, "That's nice" * Eat out with friends and
'forget' your wallet * Raise and lower your voice to make people question
their hearing * Make scary faces at babies * Tell everyone they should be in
therapy * Tailgate the elderly * Make the same mistake twice * See if you can
be the first one off the plane even if you are sitting by the window

 

[Fardringle]

Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone tells you to have a nice day, tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it all the next day.
Drive to work in reverse.
Lie on your back eating celery...using your navel as a salt dipper.
Make up a new language and ask people for directions.
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they are in jail.
Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.
Tape pictures of your boss to watermelons and launch them from high places.
Go through National Geographic and draw underwear on all the natives.
Find out what a frog really looks like in the blender.

 

[Fardringle]

Signs that you are no longer a kid:
(taken from March 1998 newsletter published by Rapid LLC)

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You have a dream about prunes.
You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

 

[Fardringle]

TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MIGHT BE FEMALE:
5- No one but their creator understands their logic.
4- Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3- The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible
to everyone else.
2- The message "bad command or filename" is about as informative as "If you don't
know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you!"
1- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your
paycheck on accessories for it.

 

[Fardringle]

TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MIGHT BE MALE:
5- They are heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4- They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network
connection.
3- They will usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do it more than they
have to and they won't think of it on their own.
2- They're typically obsolete within 5 years and need to be traded in for a new model.
Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the dang machine that
they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.
1- They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

 

[Slacker]

1. T
2. T
3. T
4. T
5. T
6. T
7. T
8. T
9. F
10. T
11. F
12. F
13. F
14. T
15. T
16. T
17. T
18. F
19. T
20. T
21. F
22. T
23. T
24. T
25. T
26. F
27. F
28. F
29. T
30. T
31. F
32. F
33. F
34. F
35. F
36. T
37. T

 

[Fardringle]

A Commoner's Guide to Computer Lingo
Modem: What you do to hayfields
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys
Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below zero
Log on: Making the wood stove hotter
Hard Drive: Getting home during a snow storm
Microchips: What are left in the bag when the big chips are gone
Download: Getting the firewood out of the pickup
Megahertz: What you get when you're not careful downloading

 

[Fardringle]

OK, I'm done....for now...

 

[Adul]

Ummm....




I have nothing to add :Q

 

[Kilowatt]

This has turned from a Dasm it thread to the Anandtech DC neffing grounds.

/me thinks the Paulsonator would be proud of some of you guys :Q

 

[DanC]

DASM!... I haven't been here to ignore this for awhile.

 

[divide by zero]

Triple dasm!!!