Dating a battered woman

[loic2003]

Originally posted by: SampSon
You could have some great sex if you're into that.

Spoken like the true gentleman

 

[skyking]

If the ex is not charged or in jail, run.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
just prove me wrong and i'll appologize. how tall are you

No, I don't think I have to "prove you wrong."

You owe me an apology, period.

Have you ever considered that I might be living in a high-crime area where home invasions are relativley common?

Have you ever considered that I might know a lot of people who have been subjected to home invasions?

Have you ever considered that I might have felt that have previously betrayed my best feelings, left a woman who I really loved in that kind of situation and she got killed, leaving me filled with regret ever since?

Have you ever considered that mabye I have gotten a woman out of that kind of situation, married her, etc and feel like it was the best thing I've ever done?

You don't know any of my reasoning for why I feel the way I do, yet you have no problem judging me when you should instead be asking me why I belive the way I do. If my views really seem alien to you, why don't you ask why I feel the way I do instead of being so pretentious?

No i didnt consider any of those things because they are not relevant here. In my real world experience when I've encountered individuals with your attitude and outlook they were all on the shorter side of the scale and they were bitter at the world and they felt like they always had something to prove and were trying to compensate for something. So I dont need to consider the what if's that you propose because my life experience is more valueable. Your views are not alien to me at all so I dont need to ask, I already know your short, get it?

How is none of that stuff relevant? Is thread about you or the OP who is going to have to make some commitments to protect himself if he decides to stay with her?

BTW, go google the average height of an American male, and then remember that I'm 5' 11". The last time I checked, that made me the same height, if not taller than the average joe. You are a fvcking presumptious idiot.

well i appologize then you are the exception that proves the rule. doesnt change the fact you are a fool for the attitude you have regarding guns and settling disputes.

How is it wrong to use force to defend yourself, your family, or your home? Are you going to lay down and take a beating? Are you going to sit and watch while someone beats your GF/wife? Are you going to help the criminals walk out the door with your belongings? Because by not taking action against criminal behavior encourages this sort of behavior. If someone breaks into my home, I want them to know that they should be prepared to die for whatever they want. It is my home and my belongings, not theirs. Now, if someone entered my home with the express purpose of robbing it and nothing else, I wouldn't be inclined to shoot them (read kill them). However, you cannot say with any degree of certainty what will happen when someone enters your home with some sort of criminal intent. I don't look at percentages when it comes to my life. I don't think "well, statistically you only have a 20% chance of being a victim of more than a robbery here, so it is best to crawl out a window and let them have whatever they want". Screw that.

Even though the OPs situation is different, the same ideas apply.

R

defending your family against intruders and such is alot alot alot alot alot different than dating a girl who likes to be smacked around with a couple kids and getting involved with her ex. comparing apples and rocks in this case

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: SampSon

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: SampSon
You could have some great sex if you're into that. Otherwise you should walk away, but not before beating the living sh!t out of her ex and calling the police.

i wouldnt risk jail time for this woman or her ex

You beat him until his short term memory fails, duh.

:thumbsup: :beer:

 

[Bushman5]

I think if i attack him. it will make stuff worst.

 

[imported_michaelpatrick33]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
if however i have to deal with her present mental state for the extent of our relationship thjen yes i will toss her.

If she can change and i mena actaully change not just zombify her self into anotehr state of mind, thne yes i want to give it a shot.

and yes i luv kids.

Listen to your language set. "toss her" is an interesting choice of language. We toss trash we don't "toss" a person. It would seem to me that if you are willing to have a relationship with this woman than counseling is first and foremost and the sexual part is put off until such time as she is healed from the past abuse.

The worst thing you can do is have sex with her, give her platitudes and then in a month or three "toss" her. Additionally, she may do things or say things that attempt to have you treat her "like trash" if her unconscious has created rules to that effect. You must be willing to put the time and effort into the relationship to push past that.

 

[Wuffsunie]

If she dosen't press charges for that assault incident, toss her.

You'll have to deal with her baggage, AND her psychopath ex, otherwise.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
just prove me wrong and i'll appologize. how tall are you

No, I don't think I have to "prove you wrong."

You owe me an apology, period.

Have you ever considered that I might be living in a high-crime area where home invasions are relativley common?

Have you ever considered that I might know a lot of people who have been subjected to home invasions?

Have you ever considered that I might have felt that have previously betrayed my best feelings, left a woman who I really loved in that kind of situation and she got killed, leaving me filled with regret ever since?

Have you ever considered that mabye I have gotten a woman out of that kind of situation, married her, etc and feel like it was the best thing I've ever done?

You don't know any of my reasoning for why I feel the way I do, yet you have no problem judging me when you should instead be asking me why I belive the way I do. If my views really seem alien to you, why don't you ask why I feel the way I do instead of being so pretentious?

No i didnt consider any of those things because they are not relevant here. In my real world experience when I've encountered individuals with your attitude and outlook they were all on the shorter side of the scale and they were bitter at the world and they felt like they always had something to prove and were trying to compensate for something. So I dont need to consider the what if's that you propose because my life experience is more valueable. Your views are not alien to me at all so I dont need to ask, I already know your short, get it?

How is none of that stuff relevant? Is thread about you or the OP who is going to have to make some commitments to protect himself if he decides to stay with her?

BTW, go google the average height of an American male, and then remember that I'm 5' 11". The last time I checked, that made me the same height, if not taller than the average joe. You are a fvcking presumptious idiot.

well i appologize then you are the exception that proves the rule. doesnt change the fact you are a fool for the attitude you have regarding guns and settling disputes.

How is it wrong to use force to defend yourself, your family, or your home? Are you going to lay down and take a beating? Are you going to sit and watch while someone beats your GF/wife? Are you going to help the criminals walk out the door with your belongings? Because by not taking action against criminal behavior encourages this sort of behavior. If someone breaks into my home, I want them to know that they should be prepared to die for whatever they want. It is my home and my belongings, not theirs. Now, if someone entered my home with the express purpose of robbing it and nothing else, I wouldn't be inclined to shoot them (read kill them). However, you cannot say with any degree of certainty what will happen when someone enters your home with some sort of criminal intent. I don't look at percentages when it comes to my life. I don't think "well, statistically you only have a 20% chance of being a victim of more than a robbery here, so it is best to crawl out a window and let them have whatever they want". Screw that.

Even though the OPs situation is different, the same ideas apply.

R

defending your family against intruders and such is alot alot alot alot alot different than dating a girl who likes to be smacked around with a couple kids and getting involved with her ex. comparing apples and rocks in this case

acemcmac never suggested going gunning for the guy. He suggested protecting his home with deadly force were the ex break in with the intent to do bodily harm. I see nothing wrong with that. Many states, countries, and people do not agree with me. The OP is from T&T, and I don't know anything about their laws. However, from a fundament human rights perspective, I see nothing inherently wrong with acemcmac's standpoint. I will say that you should always give the party entering the home unlawfully the chance to back down.

I don't think that I'm comparing apples to rocks. At the end of the situation, it still involves a person breaking into your home with the intent to do you harm. How is that different than a rapist, a serial killer, or a robbery/assult situation?

BTW, I'm 5'11" and don't even own a gun. But I like the fact that I have the right to own one (in most places) to protect myself and my home.

R

 

[mercanucaribe]

Don't be a pussy. First of all, you should feel like ****** for telling her ex that you fvcked her when you didn't, causing her to get a beating. No, it's not your fault, but any decent man would regret that.
Second of all, she doesn't deserve to be "tossed" because you don't want to deal with some abusive jackass. Then again, with your selfishness, she's probably better off without you too.


Edit: I just saw that you are from Trinidad & Tobago... which happens to be where I'm from. Calling the police is probably not a good idea with corrupt and incompetent T&T cops. That also means that you're more likely to get away with kicking the guy's ass. Get a few friends and do what Denis Leary would do.

 

[2Dead]

Originally posted by: Bushman5

2 she says no he would never kill me

This could be the last thing she says too.. she really needs help.

 

[batmang]

if you like the girl alot, just date her and see how things are. if you dont help her out, WHO WILL? step it up and at least help the woman out... christ.
get that man in jail for battering her. get him out of the picture entirely. that guy needs to be in jail, who knows what he does to his kids, i bet he beats
them too.

 

[Bushman5]

Well since u know u know wat i am talking about i could handel it. But u peoplehave put foward some good points because i dunno if im willing to go through all this therapy.

 

[The Stigenator]

stay away.. let her deal with her own ******!

and why are you dating a single mother with baby father drama..

 

[Polish3d]

Originally posted by: Bushman5
1 she dosent want to go to the police

2 she says no he would never kill me

I am at a ross road here. I really like her, im wondering if i should try to help her. If it wasnt for hr x beating her up and her having this syndrom i could really see us going places.

Dont believe her about number two. I'm not sure what to tell you to do in this situation. If this were the old west I'd suggest you just assasinate him, but that won't work, plus she might not appreciate it I suppose given he's the father. The problem is that this guy:

A: Isn't going away if he's the day

B: Isn't changing either

So I'm thinking that sadly you should probably write it off unless you're willing to risk your life to date her.

 

[Estrella]

toss, No I didn't read BUT, damaged goods are usually not a good thing.

 

[lokiju]

Man so much baggage in that situation I'd be hard pressed to stick around.

But if you feel as you say you do then she needs to first off press charges against her ex for that shyte and get his ass locked up, I'm sure she's to scared to do anything but something HAS to be done.

If the ex is taken care of (locked up) then go for it, she may come around and be able to live a normal life in time if she's able to have a normal relationship.

If it gets to be to much though, then GTFO.

 

[DukeN]

Get that asshole in jail.

 

[JoLLyRoGer]

Dude, I'm going to whole hartedly agree with IcebergSlim and most everyone else on the 1st page (because I didn't bother reading the 2nd or 3rd).

In short, you need to get the muther-f*ck out of this situation IMMEDIATELY!!! Turn around, don't walk... RUN away!! VERY FAST before you get yourself killed. I know, it sucks and you want to do something, but it's a dog-eat-dog world out there and it's on this chick to help her own self out of a bad situation.

Chances are a nice guy like you can find a nice girl without all the baggage. You just need to be a little more 'choicey'. You my not get the p*ssy this weekend, but in the long run this will save you a ton of heartache and maybe even your skin!

Phuleze, take my word on this one, my 1st wife was damaged and no ammount of time and love will EVER change that. It just never works out no matter how bad you wish it would.

$.02
JR..

 

[ITJunkie]

Originally posted by: acemcmac

Originally posted by: reverend boltron

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: reverend boltron
Well, honestly, you know what is happening in her life, you know the terror that she is living with, why are you going to let her continue to live like that? Maybe not dating her now would be the best thing, but definitely helping her out of that situation would be the best thing you could ever do for her. No joke. I mean, like, you can date her if you want to, but it's going to be a long journey of healing for her, but being a friend, helping her get a restraining order and all that jazz, that is what she needs now.

she isnt his responsiblity. he has (presumably) his own life to deal with and he would be retarded to toss it out the window for some broad he met on myspace. The woman is an adult not a helpless child. She can have out of whatever shituation she got herself into in the first place.

Some people are set in a victim mentality, so they really can't get out of the situation that they're in because they don't allow themselves to. So in reality, she may be a helpless child in her own eyes. She needs a stable foundation to start to build her own structure on, which is why I said it probably wouldn't be the best idea for him to date her, but for him to start the foundations of compassion in her life.

I tell you this, she really needs Jesus. Whom the Son set free is free indeed. And if you show her the love of Christ and help her out of her situation it will impact her eternity.

If you want to take the road where you don't care about anyone else or their problems or helping them out, that is your deal. Personally, I like to sow into the lives of people around me and plant seeds that will bear good fruit. Being a friend to someone isn't tossing your life out the window.

And if you ever become addicted to drugs or alcohol I hope you realize that you said that you can get yourself out of any situtation that you got yourself into. Because you really can't, not all of them. You personally might not choose to do certain things, but not everyone makes the same choices as you do, and some people need a teacher in order to understand things. Some people need to learn basic life concepts, and if they didn't have anyone to teach them to them in the first place, or someone who cared enough to, why then should they suffer their whole lives because of it?

I tell you this, before I came to know Jesus I had no idea how to get free from the things that were oppressing me. I had no way to get free from drugs and alcohol, and then He said, "My yoke is easy. My burdon is light" and I started to learn about living through Him, and I have continued to do so. This woman needs that same experience, to feel the love that she is lacking. That security that comes from the oppression is what she is using to try to fill the void of what she is lacking. The bible says we love because He first loved us. And she needs to experience that love.

OR the OP could just kill the mthrfvcker :laugh: :evil:

God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!

I'm not a marine, nor a marine pretender, but that was all I could think of while reading your post.

Man, I LIKE the way you think Ace

The POS is just taking up valuable real estate. I'm sure her kids really enjoy watching mommy get her ass kicked by daddy. KILL THE MTHRFVCKER and be done with it!

 

[trmiv]

Am I the only one confused here? What is the timeline on this? In the OP it sounds like this just happened, and you've been on one date. Then I see you say you've been on over 15 dates. Which is it? And if this event happened after the first date, what has been going on with the fiance guy since then? Sounds like you're leaving quite a bit out in this story.

 

[FreedomGUNDAM]

Call the cops. Get a restrainting order.

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: acemcmac
I'd have her stay with me and make sure the guy knew that she was with me. When he breaks into my house to do soemething about it, I'd rip him 30 new 7.62mm holes with my AK. Problem solved

On a serious note, you really really need to arm up and keep her with you until he does something about it. Don't let on that you're packing heat until you're pulling the trigger. Make sure he breaks in before you start shooting.

wtf gun toting moron. this isnt his battle or his business. he needs to walk away.

If he followed acemcmac's suggestion he would be doing the whole world a favor by taking care of this guy. FYI don't just kick the guy's butt, if you do he will take it out on the girl. Guys like that take out all their frustrations on people who can't/won't fight back because they are too weak to do handle them.

 

[Kanalua]

There's plenty of women out there.

On the other side: You could probably have a slave in this situation.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Run like you stole something, change your ID, grow a beard, move to another state

 

[madeupfacts]

I C U R in Norfolk. There is a Naval Base there. u should ask ur navy buddies to kick his ass